Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

[ConnectThree]

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

I was never lonely and am fine being someone without siblings.

I never really think about it. I have only one child, through choice and I knew I would ever only have one. I love our little family of 3.

It’s difficult not to think about it when you have people constantly badgering you asking when you are going to have the next one. I had an only for five years so I know what it’s like. I guess it’s the same as people asking “so are you going to try again for a girl/boy” when you have 2 of the same gender. Busybodies are irksome after a while. People should just mind their own business.

My gran had four children and the amount of shit that goes on with them is unreal. Only two of them have any relationship with each other at the moment and it's intermittent. None of the grandchildren see those aunts/uncles except at funerals. I have two siblings who I love and am close to but we live far apart from each other so support is distant. Practical support in terms of our children is non-existent. My daughter does have cousins and she has good relationships with them but again, it's distant and we have to work really hard to bring them together as much as we can.

Absolutely nothing is guaranteed by how many children you do or don't have.

The only thing I think is that they have less stress, I had one child, so I know what one child is like.. then I had two...and that is double time and effort... I haven't been brave enough to have three...
Sometimes I am a bit jealous of those with one as I think about how when I had one I could devote everything to that one and still have time to do other stuff. Life was more organised, less chaotic.. money went futher.

But I wouldn't change having two.
But other than those occassional thoughts, I don't think about it.
I don't judge anyone for having any amounts of children.. or none. Sometimes i wish I had four children.. sometimes I think about life if I had none and all the places I would go and beaches I would sit on for hours with a book....

Absolutely nothing

Has never occurred to me how many children people choose to have.

I would add many couples do not get to choose how many children they have, fertility or secondary fertility makes this decision and we all must remember this before making silly and unkind assumptions (sadly people still do this especially with 0 or 1 child), just to compound their sadness.

Literally no one cares.

Zero and can’t imagine what others would. I’m an only (I think by choice) and was happy. I had more than one
edit: like pp I do sometimes get envious of how easy one is in rare occasion I have just one of mine. I know it was my choice and wouldn’t change it but I didn’t realise how hard it would be (but smy two together are particularly hard work compared to most families I know)

Same and same, although it's 4/8 in our group.

You get the odd unkind person who think you've deprived your child of something vital, but I knew I couldn't cope with more than one, so he'd have had a sibling but also a mum having a breakdown.

I guess it's nice that people love their siblings so much that they can't imagine life without them. But in my experience, siblings cause as many problems as they solve - neither of my parents have close relationships with theirs.

I have one child - literally no one else's business why.
Just like it's none of my business how many children other people do/don't have.

Each family do what is right for them.

I think it’s a perfectly valid choice. Two very close friends are only children (now in their 50’s ) and both have led extremely happy and sociable lives. I wasn’t an only child, but my sister died in her 30’s-so I have to do all the elder care (I don’t mind).

I think nothing of it really except sometimes I remember back to when we had just one child and things were far simpler and I imagine what their life might be like and get a bit jealous.

Logically I know there is nothing wrong with having an only child, but emotionally I can't help feeling a tiny bit sad about it. Of course my views are inevitably shaped by my own upbringing - I had very antisocial & slightly awkward parents, and they very rarely facilitated playdates etc with other children, so without my siblings I would have been extremely lonely. And as a parent now, it brings me lots of joy seeing how close my two kids are (but we have lots of their friends over too!)

Rationally, I know there are lots of happy only children with sociable parents out there though! But emotional instinct runs deep

Sometimes siblings get on , sometimes they don’t , sometimes the get on as children but don’t as adults . You really can’t miss what you never had . I’m glad for my brother but I’d have known no better if I hadn’t had one ?

I wouldn’t think anything. Who would? I am an only child and have an only child. I have friends and family who have 0 - 4 children. It is what it is, I have no opinions about it (other than to wish them well and hope they have what they wanted).

I absolutely loved parenting my only child. And yes, we stopped at one because of secondary infertility rather than choice, but with hindsight, I think I only really wanted two because I was brainwashed into thinking that children needed siblings to be happy. My dd has plenty of very happy childhood memories, thanks, and not a single clarinet lesson!

It’s not a real choice for many. We have no family support, our mental and physical health couldn’t take two children and both trying to work full time. Also we can’t afford my maternity leave again with cost of living the way it is.

As an only child for the first ten years of my life, this was certainly true for me. It was a very lonely childhood. I would obviously never vocalise that to any parents of only children though.

It is tough looking after ageing parents without support.

Sadly, having siblings is no guarantee that you will have any support. My Dsis does nothing, and it is ultimately my DH and my DD that support me to care for my dad.

2 of my son's friends are only children, the only thing I think is how peaceful and fight-free their households must be.

My ex's family used to tell us we were unfair for just having one. Appparently, she'd be lonely, spoiled etc.

My DD is actually better at sharing than many of her peers who have siblings (since she's got a poor concept of competitiveness!).

Nada.

I have just 1.

it was a choice as he has a genetic condition so I realise people make decisions for all sorts of reasons. 🤷‍♀️

This 100%.

i was grateful to be an only and be able to just do what I thought was best for my mum. She put some money in when I bought a house with a granny flat for her. Had there been siblings there could have been arguments about inheritance and later about future care.

i have a friend who is one of 3 sisters. While they were close, 2 moved away. When their mum became ill, it was my friend providing care, sorting a care home and later probate, all of which I had done without a second thought. She however was resentful that it had all fallen to her and the ‘support’ from her sisters was mostly phone calls wanting updates.

That they chose to have one child.
Why do you care what other people think?