Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

[ConnectThree]

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

I would imagine it’s very lonely way to grow up and I’ve never met anyone who grew up as an only child who was glad about it.

We can't really run the world on some sort of pyramid scheme.

And even if you have a sibling, they're not much help if they are a long way away.

Only children are alone, they are not necessarily lonely.

And children in bigger families can be lonely although they are not alone.

It totally depends on the people concerned.

I know plenty of people with 'only one child!' me included. Others with 2 and others with 3 children.
It matters not a jot. None of anyone else's business. Although one of my school friends said yesterday she'd have had EIGHT children if she'd had started earlier (she has one 7 year old)!
(My child is 19 next month.)

Totally agree

Better having a smaller productive population (only children tend to have more resources - fewer distractions) will work just as effectively.

Describes me to a tee! 😊

I'm not allowed to answer as you only want parents' opinions

No, but we’re heading towards, or are already in, an inverted pyramid which is worse.

I might wonder if it was for fertility reasons if they were older but that’s only because I am the mother of an only child conceived via ICSI and I’m an older mum. I wouldn’t care but my situation may lead me to wonder if they were the same.

Op this is a really odd post. Why do you need opinions on this matter it’s everyone’s individual decision.

I don't really think anything. I just assume they decided that was right for them.

When I did have one (for nearly the first 10 years of his life due to secondary infertility) I was shocked by how some people would openly ask why I only had one and some would even criticise me to my face. Some of the gems were "you're not a proper family unless you have at least 2" and "an only child is a lonely child". I felt like punching them.

So it's not true that no one thinks anything about it. They should still mind their own fucking business though.

you do you and don’t care what anyone else thinks.

personally, I would have hated to be an only child and do think it must be quite sad for the child to miss out on that sibling relationship, their kids to have cousins etc.

but I only have 1 child, due to infertility and health reasons so am also aware that life doesn’t always go to plan!

I don't think anything about it but I know from being a one-child mum (through choice) that plenty of people have plenty to say about something that's none of their business, from accusing parents of being 'selfish' to the emotional manipulation of suggesting children are lonely without siblings.

Actually the only thing I think about it is that it's fascinating how many people I know who only have one child and that one child is a girl!

I think it's wise, and will likely result in you being happier overall than if you had more.

I don’t think anything about it at all

I only have one child, my sister only has one child. My other sister has no children. I have many friends now who have chosen one or none at all. I’m glad that women don’t feel like they are expected to have children now and that their choice whatever that may be is now accepted and not questioned or speculated upon.

Same.
I did what was right for me (one child),
Our school had a number of families with just one child too. All for different reasons.
One had fled an abusive relationship when pregnant.
One was divorced and happily single (the other parent had remarried).
One had carried twins and lost one in infancy.
One had severe problems in pregnancy and nearly died in childbirth.
Yet another had suffered with post partum psychosis.
So all manner of reasons unknown to me initially, and none of those any of my business.

I'd think it was a very sensible decision - I think for many couples one child is the affordable option and also one that enables women to pursue their careers with far less disruption. Having said that though, it's really up to individual couples to determine their family size - it shouldn't really concern anyone else.

Only children don't spend their childhoods locked in their bedrooms, isolated from everyone. They have friends and family, go to school, university, parties etc.

Siblings aren't the only form of companionship and in fact if your sibling is your only friend, I imagine that's a very lonely place to be.

Yes some only children may be lonely. But equally children with siblings and no friends have equal sense of loneliness. I had intense periods of that as a child despite having two siblings (one a twin).

It's been well documented by research the "lonely only child" is a by large a myth and they're no more lonely than those with siblings.

Totally agree with this. I don't understand the assumption that an only child is lonely when we have the ability to teach them how to build good relationships with people of their choosing.

I actually wonder if a lot of my parents generation even wanted to have kids. Lots more choice these days, fewer people feel pressure to follow the template and get married and have 2 kids.

Good grief but people can be uneducated and ignorant.

I have had the good fortune not to have anyone ask me about my fertility yet but I would eviscerate someone who said something like that to me. Sorry you had to go through this.

I wonder if the people who say this rely heavily on sibling relationships and don't facilitate other friendships outwith that.

Why does you care about what other people think of how many children you have?

I agree, I think the old fashioned stereotyping shows a bit of ignorance really.

I think great choice, most people choose what is best for their family and if one child is it then that is perfect.

Another though I have is that many siblings never get on or help each other in later life or with elderly parents, so I never understand that argument. A sibling is not a gift for a current child, just the parents.