Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

[ConnectThree]

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

What a really weird question OP

What does it matter what other parents, or anybody else for that matter, thinks?

You make the decision that is right for you and your partner

Loving and appreciating the child you have is what matters. Not what other people think.

Or, I don't know, maybe don't want another because they're happy with what they have?

That’s how I feel too - I really wanted a sibling too and part of me still does. But I accept it, there are upsides to being an only and as you say it just is what it is. You get the hand you’re dealt.

I do wonder about what life is like for onlies now vs when I was growing up. When and where I grew up, onlies were very unusual. I was always the only one in my class and I felt like a bit of a circus freak.

I remember finding holidays especially difficult. I’d roam around looking for other children of roughly my age to play with but they would often be playing with siblings.

Now, of course, the percentage of only children is much much higher. I can think of 4 in my son’s year and I don’t know all the families in the year so there could be more. So I wonder if it’s a different experience now.

I don’t give it a second thought, your choice and nothing to do with me or anyone else.

Literally no one gives a fuck, OP @ConnectThree
HTH

None of my business. I had 4 however that was because I was an only one (Or thought I was) The ex was an only child too so we didn't want that for ours.

My adult youngsters shudder at the thought of having a large family.

Eldest 2 have had 2 each and third 1. Youngest none yet.

It's a generational thing plus personal choice.

Don't worry about it

I'd think you do you. Your family, your choice. Or in the words of the Polish saying Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy, Not my circus, not my monkeys. 😀

Not true sadly - have you read the thread?

Nothing. Not my life, not my business.

Also nothing.

I don’t have any children. I don’t want any. I can honestly say I don’t really like children. Yeah. Know that will piss a few people off. They seem like bloody hard work and too needy

Never thought about it ever. I suppose being pushed to think about it now, I think its nice for a child to have a sibling as an adult as well as a child. That said my ds is a pain in the arse, couldnt call on her for support and generally tries to put me down to my face and to others. So is an only child really 'missing out' on anything? I'm not so sure!

I think as long as you can and do look after them and love them everyone has their own reasons for anything beyond that.

I have worked in palliative care most of my adult life, so I desperately wanted a sibling for my daughter so she still had someone when me and hubby pass. Siblings don't always get on sadly. But on the whole they will always be there for one another. Friends will come and go, but sisters are forever. However some people have say lots of cousins for example, so everyone's situation is different.

I think one child would always have been right for us even if we'd had our DS when we were younger. The only concern I hold would be if he has life admin to deal with on his own. So I'm making sure we have plans in place to help. I became last person standing in my family because my sibling predeceased my parents. My Dad left all in good order to make this less problematic for which I'm very thankful.

I think one shouldn't have children to suit other people's vision of the nuclear family, the ideal age or the ideal configuration or number of children. It should be about what feels right and/or follows from your circumstances or feelings. If possible one should aim to own it and enjoy 1, 2, 3 or more.

Probs I feel a bit slushy because I just watched DS YouTube of a uni debate and saw how he's more than that grumpy teen we saw quite a lot of in the sixth form 🤣

I'm an only child and DH has a brother. His brother is a complete knob who has treated DH really badly and they now no longer speak and I don't think they ever will. I know I will never speak to him again. Having a sibling like that is to me far worse than not having one at all.

Why do you care what other parents think?

People used to make assumptions about only children and their parents but its more common place now. I understand why you posted. You are worried about being judged. Most people won't think twice about it. Its not an issue any more.

Well you might be wrong on all fronts. I had one because I lost one early on when I was 14 weeks. A missed miscarriage and telling my 4 year old nearly broke me. Then out of the blue I had my first epileptic fit in my mid twenties. By the time I was on the right combination of drugs my Rheumatoid Arthritis had advanced to a point where I knew another pregnancy would take its toll on me and my left hand was so restricted I would struggle to carry an older baby or toddler.
Don't assume. Don't judge. Just do you.

I have one and I like children as I have a beautiful daughter and experiencing things from her perspective is wonderful and I truly love being her mum.

I don't really think about money at all, maybe because I have one child so can spend money on her and as a family.

Not sure who you mean by not getting along very well. If you mean not get along with child then see my first sentence. If you mean husband/partner, we get along brilliantly. In fact, I'd argue because we have 1 we can afford to pay for monthly babysitting so we can have nights out to enjoy each other as a couple.

At the end of the day, I have one because I created perfection first time round, no potential sibling can ever compete!

I don’t think anything about it. I know loads of families with only one child. I have 5 and I can assure you EVERYONE seems to have an opinion on that.

I dont think anything and would never ask anything about the decision. Its hee-haw to do with me

I wouldn't have any opinion on it at all.

Why are you writing this OP? Do you get comments all the time about only having 1 child?
We’re a one and done family and love it, we give our DD the best life, we have 2 dogs which are harder work. Don’t listen to anyone!

None of my business

Now i have 2 i would think anyone having 1 was wise.
its the interaction between 2 that is tricky they can set each other off.