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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

580 replies

ConnectThree · 09/03/2026 16:33

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

OP posts:
Julimia · 10/03/2026 18:29

Completely each to their own. Every situation has its own set of pros and cons.

Lolalady · 10/03/2026 18:32

As the only child of an
only child I think it’s absolutely fine to have just one. I never missed not having siblings. My parents made the choice for financial reasons.

IAxolotlQuestions · 10/03/2026 18:33

I don’t think anything of it. I know plenty who were one and done. I also know people with 2 or threw, and another family with 6 so far…

Each to their own.

Seidkonna · 10/03/2026 18:33

ConnectThree · 09/03/2026 16:33

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

I have one child and I'm not sure if I can dare have another one. But I do think families with only one child either don't like children that much, or are not making enough money to support additional children, or don't get along very well.

myglowupera · 10/03/2026 18:33

It’s their business.

Just like it’s my business and nobody else’s that I have four instead of one. 👍🏼

Echobelly · 10/03/2026 18:35

ConnectThree · 09/03/2026 16:33

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

I wouldn't think anything of it at all, it's a totally neutral choice as far as I'm concerned. People should have the size of family they want.

Meadowfinch · 10/03/2026 18:43

Who cares ! Family planning is a deeply personal matter and bugger all to do with anyone else. Their views are irrelevant.

Don't give it another thought.

Peppermintpatty24 · 10/03/2026 18:47

What does it matter what other parents think? They won't be living your life/lives.

Fiddy1964 · 10/03/2026 18:59

I think, why do people who choose to have only 1 child, want to know what other people think about it.

WilCh · 10/03/2026 19:00

Got nothing to do with anyone else!

chocolatecupcake · 10/03/2026 19:02

I have one 7yo DD. Got pregnant immediately on trying, somewhat straightforward pregnancy and birth apart from a few scares. But I found it difficult and just didn’t want to do it again. Now she’s 7 she’s absolutely the centre of my world and we’re so close but I had no desire to ever do it again and I struggled for a few years with the adjustment of being a mum. Had a few comments from older family members how it’s cruel to have just one but I couldn’t have given a fig what others thought. I’m 38 now and aware of my biological clock so have asked the DH if he’s sure he doesn’t want more but he really doesn’t either. We’re happy as we are.

I’m the only mum in my whole circle of friends who only has one though and Ive seen some of them really struggle to manage a second, and when we take the kids out I do feel ever so slightly smug that I can sit and drink my coffee whilst the older ones play whilst my friends are running around like headless chickens after their 2nd, younger children!

CandidRaven · 10/03/2026 19:22

I don't care what other people do

Wildefish · 10/03/2026 19:33

ConnectThree · 09/03/2026 16:33

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

Your family, your choice.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 10/03/2026 19:35

As you have asked l think it is entirely up to you. I also think you are also. being very responsible in your choice

Yes, the birth rate may have fallen. But in certain sectors of Society. At least where l live. Some people are hugely entitled and have many children they want.

They cannot afford or look after them or care for them. They seem to think that the State should keep and pay for them.

You sound like a good person.
Enjoy your child and family life, and just ignore anybody, who says stupid things about only having on e child

👍😻
X

Toottooot · 10/03/2026 19:38

Majority of my only child 7 year olds friends are only children.

Aprilmaymum · 10/03/2026 19:40

I feel the same about it as I feel for someone who has ten children. That is their business and entirely their choice

YourShyLion · 10/03/2026 19:44

I am an only child with three children of my own. As I child it didn't bother me but as an adult with aging parents being an only one is the loneliest thing in the world and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

By complete coincidence seven of my friends/acquaintances are also only children, male and female and every single one is struggling.

It's not about physical care for any of us yet, but it is about having no shared history with a sibling, no one who had the same parents as us although obviously everyone's upbringing is different even in the same family. It's also not assuming idyllic sibling relationship, it's just extremely lonely.

Interestingly it's not something any of us discussed or admitted to until there was a significant issue for one of us which allowed the discussion to be had.

Please if you can have another child, for their sake, do.

secondtimelucky87 · 10/03/2026 19:46

Thank goodness so many people on this thread have responded saying it's not a big deal. I was worried I'd find it upsetting.

FWIW: I have one not by choice. Years of both primary and secondary infertility. Several rounds of fertility treatment. I would have loved more children but it didn't work out that way. However I'm eternally grateful for the one child I do have, who I once thought I'd never have. She'll never be an 'only' to me.

Bellaunion · 10/03/2026 20:21

YourShyLion · 10/03/2026 19:44

I am an only child with three children of my own. As I child it didn't bother me but as an adult with aging parents being an only one is the loneliest thing in the world and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

By complete coincidence seven of my friends/acquaintances are also only children, male and female and every single one is struggling.

It's not about physical care for any of us yet, but it is about having no shared history with a sibling, no one who had the same parents as us although obviously everyone's upbringing is different even in the same family. It's also not assuming idyllic sibling relationship, it's just extremely lonely.

Interestingly it's not something any of us discussed or admitted to until there was a significant issue for one of us which allowed the discussion to be had.

Please if you can have another child, for their sake, do.

I am not dismissing your experience or loneliness as that would be wrong to challenge someone's own experience of their life and growing up. But for me it seems such a bizarre reason to have another child. I have two siblings and the thought us having shared upbringing and memories just never crosses my mind. For the simple reason my childhood was much more than my two siblings and the four walls of my house. We had different friendship groups, school experiences, extra curricular activities etc. I didn't and don't just exist in this vacuum with my siblings. In fact I barely speak to them these days and the thought of sharing our memories just seems completely alien. And I don't feel lonely either!

Sharptonguedwoman · 10/03/2026 20:23

That people tend to have the number of children they feel either they can afford or give a good life to. I do sometimes think it would have been god to give DD a sibling but we simply couldn’t afford it.

RS1987 · 10/03/2026 20:27

No thoughts to be honest - doesn’t affect me

Mithral · 10/03/2026 20:27

As I child it didn't bother me but as an adult with aging parents being an only one is the loneliest thing in the world and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy

Ouch. That hurts. As someone with one child (not by choice) is there anything you wish your parents had done differently that might have helped?

PinkLemonadee · 10/03/2026 20:28

I think it's none of my business how many kids other people have.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/03/2026 20:36

Mithral · 10/03/2026 20:27

As I child it didn't bother me but as an adult with aging parents being an only one is the loneliest thing in the world and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy

Ouch. That hurts. As someone with one child (not by choice) is there anything you wish your parents had done differently that might have helped?

I'm an only child (it wasn't my parents choice) and didn't feel like that at all. I look at people I know who have siblings and some of them either don't get on or else one has moved away and the care still comes down to one of them.

I can still remember a woman telling me how selfish my parents were and how they'd ruined my life. The silly cow didn't have a lot to say when I asked her if my life would have been better if my Mum had died having another baby, which is what she was told could happen.

ChocolateHobbit · 10/03/2026 20:44

YourShyLion · 10/03/2026 19:44

I am an only child with three children of my own. As I child it didn't bother me but as an adult with aging parents being an only one is the loneliest thing in the world and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

By complete coincidence seven of my friends/acquaintances are also only children, male and female and every single one is struggling.

It's not about physical care for any of us yet, but it is about having no shared history with a sibling, no one who had the same parents as us although obviously everyone's upbringing is different even in the same family. It's also not assuming idyllic sibling relationship, it's just extremely lonely.

Interestingly it's not something any of us discussed or admitted to until there was a significant issue for one of us which allowed the discussion to be had.

Please if you can have another child, for their sake, do.

I'm sorry you are feeling that way, but ageing parents is a horrible experience for everyone, regardless of how many siblings you have.

It may be a bit more shit on your own, and I knows that's quite common, but honestly the amount of people I know who lost loved ones and the whole experience being far more stressful than it needed to be because siblings constantly squabbled over care and inheritances.

Yes it's a consideration, but I find your post very blunt and rude claiming you 'wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy' and that 'if you can have another child, then do. '

I feel strongly about protecting my health and wellbeing and not putting myself through horrendous PND again, thank you very much, even though I technically 'can' have another.