To be annoyed that older people can’t just send a text rather than phoning for the slightest thing?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

I’ll try not to be ageist here but I might fail at that..so I’m sorry if this offends anyone. If you are over 60 do you feel the need to phone people for things like confirming what time you’ll be arriving that day (after already arranging that you’re coming), letting someone know what colours of paint you’ll be getting for a house renovation, asking someone if they want to go to the cinema with you next week? Those were just examples that popped into my head, but I’m finding it increasingly irritating that the 60 something man that is renovating my house will call me for the slightest thing. It seems he doesn’t know how to text at all as he responds to mine by ringing. Same with my parents, but they get a free pass cos they’re my parents. Same with a neighbour in her 60s who I’m quite friendly with. She rang me the other day, a call which I had to take at work, to say she’d taken my bin in for me, which was very nice of her obviously. But a simply text would have done fine. I’m not talking about very elderly people who don’t know how to use technology, I’m talking about people in their 60s/70s who have had iPhones for at least a decade. Is it just habit or is talking on the phone more common amongst older people? I’m early 40s & I personally hate talking on the phone and will text for everything. I find a phone call quite intrusive, I have to be in the mood to talk to someone, whereas if they would just text me they might get an answer to their question! I can send a text back in any mood but I will often ignore a phone call if I’m not in the mood.
Yes I’m sure I’m being at least a bit unreasonable but it would be nice if everyone could just learn how to text/know how to use text messaging properly. It’s really very easy

I have friends and family that I always speak to . Yes even my kids prefer a chat ,over faffing around with texting/ WhatsApp. A quick conversation can cover so much in a few minutes over messaging!
I also wonder how many friendships have gone sour because people didn’t actually speak rather than chat ,poor context,tone of voice etc 🤔

I too absolutely hate older people (friends, family and clients) who phone instead of an email, text or whatsapp message. Often it's literally for nothing important and is very disruptive to my working day when I have to regularly stop what I'm doing to answer the phone then spend longer than necessary dealing with their issue/comments and it breaks off my chain of thought from the work I was doing, meaning I have to spend a little time back tracking to get back to what I was doing beforehand. Why can't they just sent a quick text/message/email and then if necessary I can get back to them at a less inconvenient time? Most of the time, it's nothing important nor urgent.

I get that older people are accustomed to the phone, but I'm 62 and I've moved on, yet a lot of the people who still phone are my age or younger - but the older ones are definitely the worse.

Worse still are those who leave a message on my answer service if I don't pick up the phone, and leave a message that's clearly not urgent nor important, but then phone back again shortly after, and again and again for the rest of the day, sounding more and more impatient that I've not got back to them.

Nothing new though, I started working in the early 80s when lots of people didn't even have phones and they'd call into the office or write a letter, and when they finally got a phone (landline back then), they'd still call in or write rather than phone. Old habits die hard!

Uggh i just dont have time to call a lot of the time and would never presume that anyine else has the time nowadays to stop everything we are doing.
I prob soubd a real grump...but i left for work at 7.30 this morning and i walked in the house at 7pm. I didnt have a lunch break and the two coffews i had and some salad i chose to eat on the go so that i could leave work half an hour early.

For me, a phone call might be hands free in car .but reception here is terrible.
Its taken my dad, late 80's about 10 years to grasp that when he calls me at work, it causes quite an issue.
Id rush off thinking he was ill etc and id zip off to find a quiet space only to hear it was a hello. Its actually very sweet....but not practical. Hilariiusly if i call him back late eve when im home, he gets mega ratty with me as in summer, im stopping him gardening, or interupting him watching sports etc etx!! 🤣 he cant see the irony of us just having different time clocks to our day etc...
He also often phones me early morning on a sunday asking if im awake then chastises me for sounding sleepy. I work all week and i am a zombie all weekend...and he can be quite afronted abiut how "all his friends kids" all pick the phone up several times a day to their parents. I cant imagine they do but if they do, well done them!

Thats really nice for them, but i work full time and have a travel each way in bad reception So my time slots for anything are limited.

Last week,i rushed out of work to call the garage with about 3minutes to spare beforw thwy closed.i was just dialing them and he called me. I tried to csncel him pff but he called another 3 times and i missed the garage. I could have cried.
He then acted all exasperated when he questioned me abiut the car...and when i said i didnt know he tutted me saying i should have called esrlier. Im afraid in my work place, when its busy and short staffed, personal stuff has to wait till the end of the day...

I have tried to make sure i schedule calls into my week as i worry he is lonely but he is the only person i speak to other than my husband, on the phone.
The difference with my husband is that he is used to bad reception so doesn't get bad tempered if it keeps cutting out and just phones me back.

Most other people i know just text xx

I will do ANYTHING to avoid a phone call, especially am unplanned one. Horribly intrusive. I just dont answer unless I am texted beforehand.

But it's more often than not, NOT convenient to call back, thats my point. If we keep ringing each other and missing each other thats just pointless time wasted isnt it? neither of us knows what the other wants to say. But with a text you can see immediately if you need to reply immediately or whether it can wait.

Also, I specifically mentioned work because the OP said someone rung her whilst she was at work to tell her they'd taken her bin in. A completely pointless and ridiculous thing to do when she could have texted it.

How did some posters cope before texts?

Actually it was easier because before mobile phones we only had landlines and when you were out, no one could ring you. So problem solved! You were much less likely to be expected to pick up the phone then

64. I communicate with my (late 20's) kids via Messenger. If anything they are the ones to phone me rather than the other way round.

My late mother (80's) would call purely because arthritis meant she couldn't text

I'm rather pleased that younger people are doing away with unsolicited phone calls. I think distant future generations will think of phone calls as a short-lived and rather boorish technological gimmick. And rightly so.

A text message is rather like your butler bringing a telegram to your table. A phone call, conversely, is the equivalent of bellowing for attention in someone's hallway.

I'm 67. Same here - I send WhatsApp or rmail messages. Haven't made a social call for years.

A text message is rather like your butler bringing a telegram to your table. A phone call, conversely, is the equivalent of bellowing for attention in someone's hallway.

YES! this is exactly it. Text messages are so patient and elegant. Phone calls are like tantrums demanding to be paid attention to.

So you are more important than the person trying to contact you? OK.

I used to talk to my best friend every single day in the phone. She died from cancer, and 48 years of talking daily went silent.

I don’t talk to anyone daily on the phone now. All my other communications are by text/ WhatsApp/ messenger. I did phone my son to wish him well as he goes in for surgery in the morning. Hope that’s ok with you, OP?

Honestly? Your judgemental and miserable approach is very unkind and deeply ageist.

Much as I hate phone calls for the most part, as I’ve said up thread, there are occasions when you do need to speak on the phone to sort a particular thing out.

In that case, you text and say “can I call you later today/ now (if it’s urgent) / when would be convenient to you? It’s about X”

My 60+ neighbour rang my phone and then, when I didn’t pick up, rang my doorbell while I was WFH to let me know in person that the postman had misdelivered my letter to his house. It was a boring catalogue that deserved zero fanfare. I was very confused when I opened the door and he stood there holding something that would fit through the letterbox. I have no idea why he rang my phone over this!

No, not more important. But at work, often in meetings.

Exactly, which is why text messages are far better and more convenient. They can be read at your leisure and you can even glance at them IN meetings or even reply without disturbing anyone by talking on the phone which disturbs other people.

I’m over 60 and don’t like talking on the phone, but I realise it can be useful when making complex arrangements or discussing details. For everyday contact, I like WhatsApp. Zoom or FaceTime is best for a leisurely chat.

I am certainly not able to read / reply to text messages in meetings. I appreciate that workplaces differ though.

Its much easier looking at a text in a meeting than speaking on the phone - thats the point.

Doctors surgery & hospital calls are different. They need to call you and the call is important & usually quick. It’s not that I have some kind of fear of talking on the phone like some of these Gen Z phone-phobes. It’s just not necessary sometimes

It depends on individual circumstances. As I can't do either during meetings, it makes no difference to me. Either way I would be returning the text / call when it was convenient for me.

Not everyone will work their routine around your preferences. No reason why they should. Some people, all ages, prefer to phone 🤷‍♀️

Then if it makes no difference why does it matter if people prefer text messages?

It doesn't matter to me at all. I can cope with both 😀