To be annoyed that older people can’t just send a text rather than phoning for the slightest thing?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

I’ll try not to be ageist here but I might fail at that..so I’m sorry if this offends anyone. If you are over 60 do you feel the need to phone people for things like confirming what time you’ll be arriving that day (after already arranging that you’re coming), letting someone know what colours of paint you’ll be getting for a house renovation, asking someone if they want to go to the cinema with you next week? Those were just examples that popped into my head, but I’m finding it increasingly irritating that the 60 something man that is renovating my house will call me for the slightest thing. It seems he doesn’t know how to text at all as he responds to mine by ringing. Same with my parents, but they get a free pass cos they’re my parents. Same with a neighbour in her 60s who I’m quite friendly with. She rang me the other day, a call which I had to take at work, to say she’d taken my bin in for me, which was very nice of her obviously. But a simply text would have done fine. I’m not talking about very elderly people who don’t know how to use technology, I’m talking about people in their 60s/70s who have had iPhones for at least a decade. Is it just habit or is talking on the phone more common amongst older people? I’m early 40s & I personally hate talking on the phone and will text for everything. I find a phone call quite intrusive, I have to be in the mood to talk to someone, whereas if they would just text me they might get an answer to their question! I can send a text back in any mood but I will often ignore a phone call if I’m not in the mood.
Yes I’m sure I’m being at least a bit unreasonable but it would be nice if everyone could just learn how to text/know how to use text messaging properly. It’s really very easy

Still not understanding why you cant just put your phone on silent when you dont want to take a phone call @Waitingforthesunnydays . Maybe you could break it down for me?

If you'd said "over 80" you might have had a point. Over 60? Do you think working middle aged people are all past it? I've got news for you...

@Catza Careful now you seem far too well adjusted for life these days.

I am older and msg but a couple of my friends and I msg to arrange social calls, often FaceTiming. I was writing web pages in the mid nineties and programming so I’m no technophobe. Old fart sat next to me can programme in multiple languages, he still rings me. I know there is some weird incapability of speaking these days.

Same here. 60 year old people have learned how to text 30 years ago

I often speak to various people on the WhatsApp free! phone - e.g. friend in Stockholm, a sister in the US, an older sister in N Yorks who doesn’t/wont use WhatsApp and still only uses a landline.

Otherwise most communication is via WhatsApp. Dds do ring me now and then though.

65 here and HATE phone calls. Everything done by text or email that possibly can be. My kids will text before they ring (if there's something that can only be done on a call) because they know I won't pick up the phone if it rings.

I CAN make phone calls, but I know a lot of people absolutely won't, but it frustrates me when companies don't make it easy to do things online and you have to call them instead.

My mum's in her 80s and has phoned me twice in the last five years. Once to tell me my dad was dying, and once to tell me he'd died. Otherwise, she always texts/messages.

This. I CBA writing with the clarity required for the message to be absolutely unambigious nor can I be arsed with the constant back and forth with 'do you mean X or Y' if it's X then no, Y but what about Z etc etc so I'll call.

Also if someone sends a message and its not clear, I'll call them back, thinking 'well they've just messaged me so they're available for a messaging conversation so they're probably also available for an actual conversation.

Now that I know that this annoys people makes me even more likely to phone them, because their reluctance to pick up a phone and speak to someone does not trump my preference to not get drawn into an extended bout of WhatsApp tennis about something that could be resolved with a short phone call.

63 here.

Most of my communication is via WhatsApp, including with my 70 something sisters. My late Mum, who died nearly 10 years ago in her 80s, had got the hang of texting and 95 year old FIL who died recently used to text DH daily. Admittedly we did make regular phone calls to both my DM and to FIL as well as texts just to be sure they had someone to speak to.

We tend to only make actual calls if there is something that needs discussing and arranging because it is easier than a WhatsApp back and forth; however the calls will be prearranged to make sure it is a good time and everyone knows what the call is about.

So I think you are being atheist by suggesting this is a 60+ characteristic

That's all.subject to opinion though too!

My mat leave cover was a 65yo. He stayed on as we needed two people full time, but we have different lead areas - mine is a qualified legal specialism, so he is supposed to defer to me in that - except he questions my straightforward answers because he thinks it's up for debate - it isn't!

We have weekly catch ups and other chats, but sometimes he needs to be told firmly that he's had his answer in writing, it's not changing, and I don't have time to endlessly chat to him about it.

My phone is permanently on silent. I often don’t take calls. But the ‘callers only’ will just keep calling back if I don’t answer, also it’s often to tell me something I actually need to know that I could easily be told in a text

My one exception to disliking phone calls is DD. We use WhatsApp for most purposes but then have a really long phone call every week or two at a time convenient to all (me and DH on speaker usually).
I’d guess this is pretty normal.

I wish banks and other services would move away from phone calls for so much, with the inevitable queue, layers of options etc before you get to speak to someone. Often it seems I should just be able to write an email describing exactly what the issue is and then they could process it on their time not mine!

So, for those who never answer their phone or hate answering calls, what do you do when the Doctors surgery or Hospital ring? Just ignore them?

My DH has had one of each today, arranging something for tomorrow. They won't send whatsapps!

I am almost exactly 60, I'm completely comfortable and familiar with texting, e-maili ng and using Messenger or WhatsApp, but I have to admit I'm secretly rather pleased when someone chooses to phone instead. Phoning feels friendly to me and you can clear up misunderstandings straight away, not just hope that someone doesn't misinterpret what you wrote or miss out a key point. (Example: I usually communicate with my boss, who works on a different site, by email - but she will very often just overlook one question I've asked, so I have to email again and I feel almost as if I'm pestering her, whereas with a phone call I could make sure she answered everything.)

I've had my new phone (old one died after getting wet) for about a month and I realised recently that I don't actually know what my ringtone sounds like. That seems rather sad to me.

My mum will only call in an emergency. Otherwise it’s texts. She is 83.

But a phone call doesn't require an immediate response. I have my phone on silent, and then call people back as and when it's convenient for me to do so.

Again, not all of us have time at work to be ringing people back endlessly- that creates even more work for the receiver! A text is far more appropriate and considerate.

I also hate being called out of the blue. Even worse if people call in response to a text message/ WhatsApp “I thought it was easier to just pick up the phone” - no it isn’t! That’s why I text you, because I’d like a text back.

And don’t get me started on the dreaded voice notes. Which usually contain information I want to be able to refer back to, so I want it in written form.

I don’t think it’s fair to make it an age thing though.

That said, my auntie has been known to phone me at work.

The problem is, she is the link to the people we know who are most likely to have died or been injured or something awful happened (not elderly relatives). So I will always answer if it’s her because it could be just the sort of thing that does require a call!

I have been know to text callers with “can you text me what you wanted to say?”

Texting takes so bloody long. And it pisses me off when someone will text about something, so I reply, and then they don't reply for hours. It's no way to communicate.

I'd much rather people called, it's so much quicker, everything is dealt with in 5 minutes and done.

I am over 60, and proud to not have call-phobia.

Late 70s here. I always text. Time is short. I keep my phone calls for people I really want to talk to.

Interestingly, for me, the worst offenders are my late teens and early 20s granddaughters after a handout (but then I am a notoriously soft touch).

I do get annoyed by people who phone for a random chat when I'm busy.

But you don't have to do it at work. Call back when it's convenient for you. That's the point. Or, as @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing does, text the caller (again, when it's convenient for you) and ask them what they were calling about. It's absolutely fine if texting is your communication style, but it's also fine if calling is theirs. A phone call is no more immediate than a text, unless you make it so.

I am old……very,I use WhatsApp mostly,I belong to several groups for the elderly and don’t know of anyone who doesn’t text or WhatsApp,we all use it.

You clearly don’t know many elderly people! How ageist.

Mid sixties. I’ll text if it’s something that doesn’t need a two way communication. Two way communication by text is a needless pain in the arse. Otherwise, I phone. I there is no answer I leave a message and ask for a call back.