To be annoyed that older people can’t just send a text rather than phoning for the slightest thing?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

I’ll try not to be ageist here but I might fail at that..so I’m sorry if this offends anyone. If you are over 60 do you feel the need to phone people for things like confirming what time you’ll be arriving that day (after already arranging that you’re coming), letting someone know what colours of paint you’ll be getting for a house renovation, asking someone if they want to go to the cinema with you next week? Those were just examples that popped into my head, but I’m finding it increasingly irritating that the 60 something man that is renovating my house will call me for the slightest thing. It seems he doesn’t know how to text at all as he responds to mine by ringing. Same with my parents, but they get a free pass cos they’re my parents. Same with a neighbour in her 60s who I’m quite friendly with. She rang me the other day, a call which I had to take at work, to say she’d taken my bin in for me, which was very nice of her obviously. But a simply text would have done fine. I’m not talking about very elderly people who don’t know how to use technology, I’m talking about people in their 60s/70s who have had iPhones for at least a decade. Is it just habit or is talking on the phone more common amongst older people? I’m early 40s & I personally hate talking on the phone and will text for everything. I find a phone call quite intrusive, I have to be in the mood to talk to someone, whereas if they would just text me they might get an answer to their question! I can send a text back in any mood but I will often ignore a phone call if I’m not in the mood.
Yes I’m sure I’m being at least a bit unreasonable but it would be nice if everyone could just learn how to text/know how to use text messaging properly. It’s really very easy

I'm 60 and I haven't made a social phone call for years. Even my mother gets texts

I went from talking daily on the phone to friends and family to being complete anti phoning! I still have a cousin that if I text her I get a phone call almost immediately it really riles me and I know I’m being unreasonable I just really hate chatting on phones now. A lot of people do im not saying if it’s a good or bad thing it’s just how I feel.

I’m over 60 and I can’t remember the last phone call I made. Everything is done by text/WhatsApp.

The phone call is their preferred method of
communication, text is your. Why do your preferences trump theirs?
Personally I prefer to text than call but don’t judge other people on their preference if they prefer to call me.

I hate people ringing me and wish they'd just message.

My parents are 77 and 79 and both text instead of calling.

So, yes, you are being ageist.

This is a ‘you’ problem. You prefer texting so expect others to text. They prefer phoning! Neither is wrong…but you can’t say that ‘your preference’ is better than theirs, that’s unreasonable.

For context…I’m 62 (so in your ageist bracket!!) and I prefer texting. I hate receiving unnecessary or unexpected phone calls, but I don’t think others are unreasonable to prefer this method of communication. I know it’s a ‘me problem’ and accept the phone calls with grace.

Yes, you are being very unreasonable and also ageist. This is not an age thing but a personality thing.
It really pisses me off how many posters on this site assume that anyone over 60 needs support in life from Millennials.

It's pretty selfish to be ringing someone at work about taking a bin in. Not all of us can drop everything to answer the phone whilst at work which is why a text is more convenient. I'd rather someone left my bin alone than hassle me at work about it.

The difference is that a phone call requires an immediate response which is unreasonable to expect of someone else.

I love a text and a WhatsApp, especially for the bins sort of thing, but I do miss phone calls very much and have tried to reinstate them where I can, so although I’m only 56 I guess I fit your category. There simply isn’t a replacement for actually speaking to someone, it puts a smile on my face. It’s true though that back in the day absolutely nobody would have phoned you at work, we were banned from using the phone until 6pm and the cheaper rate, and employers were very tough on not receiving or making personal calls, so part of the problem is that a strong phone etiquette that ‘everyone’ knew has broken down.

I'm 62 and when my DH was away for a six week trip last year, we only kept in touch by WhatsApp.

If my phone rings, my immediate reaction is "What's wrong?"

AIBU to be annoyed that younger people can’t just ring me rather than sending constant texts for everything?

My DGM never really learnt to text and she's 94 now, so she isn't going to. She gets a free pass to call. It was normal for her generation.

Possibly the man who is renovating your home is dyslexic, or perhaps hasn't had the same level of education as you and might feel self conscious about putting things down in a text. If he's running his own business he can do things as he sees fit and if he prefers doing business via phone calls to texts, that's up to him.

YANBU to dislike phone calls, but YABU to call people who prefer to call "weird and intrusive". I'm autistic and don't particularly like phone calls either, but I also don't expect the rest of the world to bend to my preference. If it's not a good time for me to talk then I don't have to answer a call, and the person will have to wait, if they can't message me.

I agree in large part. My dad does it, usually when I've just sat down to eat after being at work all day and sorting out the kids. I could respond to a text but not really a call which is really just an excuse to chat. I get it, and yes im very grateful to still have him etc (as no doubt lots of posters will jump.on to say) but it is annoying. I have no.problem chatting on the phone at all but if its just to convey some simple info, a text is better anyway so you can check back.

Depending on the subject sometimes a call is a lot quicker to sort things out, I hate a long stream of texts - it’s just as annoying. Just don’t pick up if you don’t want to and then text back when convenient asking what they want.

You will be over 60 one day and you will be the one doing something that others may perceive as annoying or slow. Have a bit of empathy that not everyone enjoys texting. Some want a chat, some human emotion from your words that you can’t get from a text. I am 50 and text a lot, but also still enjoy a phone call and a good chat.

It’s never been a norm to phone someone at work to say you’ve taken their bin in. Sounds like someone has taken the easy breezy conventions of texting and just applied them to phoning.

Not sure it’s an age thing though.

I’m 32 next week and I much prefer a phone call over a text! My sister is 26 and is the same.

Same with having to contact any services; I hate using webchat functions or email. Give me a human being to speak to every time!

All the "over 60s" or just a particular person who is bothering you ? Are you so antisocial that you can't take a phone call that seems to be a you problem that you might need to dig deep and unpack.

I'm 70 and would always text/WhatsApp. Am glad for this alternative to phoning as I've always been a bit phone phobic!

I think you need to learn tolerance op

I don’t think its an age thing, some people just prefer to phone. My gran always phones, she knows how to text and is more than capable, but she likes to chat and I don’t think there is any issue with that. My sister also always phones, 25, more than capable of texting, just prefers to phone.

Im 66 and never phone anyone. WhatsApp or messenger.
I hate talking on the phone and rarely answer it

I agree re the annoyance about people phoning me for things that could easily be resolved via a text, but it's not just the older generations. My dad is 70 and I would say we communicate 90% by text. We will have a phone call usually once a week but that's about it. I have a couple of friends the same age as me (30s) who'll think nothing of calling and wittering on about nothing for half an hour/ following on from a text. Can't stand phone calls personally, unless they're absolutely necessary. And voice notes are just something else!

AIBU to hate when people call out of the blue or won't use text/WhatsApp?

There, fixed it for you. Made it non-ageist and helped you not look entitled.

HTH

P.s. I hate being called as well. But, can I shock you? There isn't a law saying you have to answer phone calls. There is this really cool invention called Voicemail where people can leave messages for really important calls. You can even change your outgoing message to say 'sorry, it's often not easy for me to answer the phone. Please text me if it's urgent so I know you call you back ASAP'