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AIBU?

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Sons Sporting Ambition Thwarted?

254 replies

GatheringAllTheMoss · 08/03/2026 23:42

My son has dreamt of becoming an England player in his team sport (not football) for many years. He's reached county level which is fantastic but he's unlikely to go further. Not through lack of talent but more through the lack of opportunities and the advantages that others have. Out of 40 children at county level the overwhelming majority are at private schools. 10 from one school. You can count the number of state school boys on one hand and one is my son.

Private schools start this sport in year 3, state pupils are lucky to get the chance to play, those that do start in year 7. Private schools play at a higher level e.g. private school will field their B team against sons state school A team. The coaches and facilities are at a higher level too.

At club level my son plays with the men's team not with his age group and there is no development route. I can move him to another club but the chances are high that it will be dominated by the private school boys so my son won't be chosen for the team.

I always appreciated that talent would only take him so far and I was willing to do whatever was needed to get him to that point. Just devastated by the reality of what he faces to succeed and that I never really appreciated this.

OP posts:
Catlady007007 · 16/03/2026 18:27

HessianSack · 16/03/2026 18:08

The op specifically said it’s not football. I can’t think of any other sport you can play with just a ball and a bit of grass.

You can practice -
Baseball catches
Handball (side of a buidling)
Volleyball
Dodgeball
Soccer

TooLittleTooLate2 · 16/03/2026 18:30

HessianSack · 16/03/2026 18:08

The op specifically said it’s not football. I can’t think of any other sport you can play with just a ball and a bit of grass.

Yes and the conversation moved on to football. Goodness me

Ernestina123 · 16/03/2026 22:28

HessianSack · 16/03/2026 18:08

The op specifically said it’s not football. I can’t think of any other sport you can play with just a ball and a bit of grass.

I think OP is talking about boys field hockey - minority sport in which private schools are over represented.

Needspaceforlego · 17/03/2026 11:34

I don't think it matters what sport it is. Few people will ever make lots of money from sport, regardless of their ability or privilege.

Children in private school with access to lots of afterschool sports clubs with proper coaching have an advantage, inc money to pay for 121 sessions and extra coaching etc

The next lot of advantaged kids are those with parents / grandparents who are able to ferry them around to lots of training sessions and can afford to do so.

The disadvantaged kids are those who are in afterschool care until after parents finish work by the time they've been home and fed its too late for most clubs and training sessions.

The other disadvantaged kids are those whos parents can't afford training sessions or are reliant on public transport to get them there.

But I'll get to the end of that and say there are some kids who have been absolutely pulled up by their boot laces through sport.
I'll absolutely bow down to two Olympians.
Mo Farra and Fatima Whitbread.

Go read their stories if you want to see where raw talent and coaching over comes out and out privilege.

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