Mismatched Sex Drive Hack: The Marital Magic Minute

[MagicMinute]

I may have found the hack for mismatched sex drives!? I could happily go weeks, maybe months without sex and wouldnt think of it much. DH OTH has a high sex drive. After years of arguments, debates and heart to hearts, a few weeks ago I came up with the magic minute and I feel there's is somwthing in it. AIBU?

My theory is, I can do anything for just 1 minute a day. So the rules are:

1 minute a day

• sex/bj/hj/cuddle/kiss
• appropriate moment/place i.e. no kids could walk in etc and not i.e when I am ready to sleep.
• obviously some days I will be up for longer but no obligation.
• its not scheduled so its whenever a minute works

I retain the right always to say no of course.
When we first implemented I had a cold so DH opted for a cuddle for 7 days. So its got him reviewing the days too, whereas previously he said there was always opportunity and would say "its been x days/weeks" without thinking of what may have affected those dates.

Its working well for us, what do you think if you are in the same boat? Could you do just 1 minute and then its done?

No.

What?? Sex in 60 seconds? No thanks.

Even a one minute cuddle is complete bullshit, Probably takes me longer than that just to get comfy

No. Sounds very transactional and not especially enjoyable for either party. What if he hasn’t finished during the one minute? Do you leave him hanging? Do you have a stopwatch going? So many questions….

Sorry but this doesn't sound very magical at all. I'd hate to be your husband in this setup.

And I strongly disagree with your central hypothesis, that you can endure anything if it's just for one minute a day... no, I don't think I could, no.

What? Twice?

Genuinely can't think of any upsides to a one minute mandatory hand job from my wife

None of the pros of an actual hand job but with added obligation and coerciveness

Great if it works for you but personally I can’t imagine a more depressing sex life than this.

Also, are seriously saying that your husband comes within one minute?

I don’t think she is saying that no, if she doesn’t want to carry on after the minute thy finish before he finishes’. That’s how I read it.
Though, if they often don’t have sex for months, it wouldn’t be too surprising if he lasted less than a minute!

What are you doing to deal with your lack of sex drive?

you limit cuddles?

I'm confused - surely a minute would just get him started and then leave him frustrated? How would that help?!?

I'm thinking he could do one minute of house cleaning in exchange. Sounds reasonable.

I think this is an interesting idea, I get anxious about starting something I can’t finish, kids walking in, the zillion other things that are on my mind…so I often don’t start anything

Honestly OP, if it's working for you then well done for finding something that is helping to bring a bit of missing closeness to your relationship.

Every journey of a thousand miles starts with a first step (or whatever the exact phrase is) and if this is helping to bring back something that has been lost over time then that's excellent.

I’ve read some shit on here over the years but this? Best in show for sure.

OP is probably a ‘post and run’ merchant anyway.

@randomchap is my hero

OP speaking as someone in a sexless marriage this sounds fucking miserable. If you cannot bear to touch your husband and have to endure it, for goodness sake give him the option to have a normal life with someone who cares about him.

Divorce sounds far more simple tbh.

Eh

It doesn't really sound magical OP, it sounds like you're servicing him to keep him happy. It's not how I think a close loving relationship should work!

I am however a big fan of the morning quickie - doesn't take long and sends him off to work with a smile on his face! ☺️

One minute? That’s hilarious. You’d not even have got started.

Why does she have to do anything? She’s not broken. Why can’t he just have a wank and calm down?

Implementing a 1 minute rule a day where you feel obligated sounds miserable. I would rather be single.

How awful to think that intimacy with your spouse is so unwanted that they have to break it into one-minute chunks.

If I were him, I'd find someone who could bear to cuddle me or have sex with me for more than one minute.