Ostracised by neighbours & wanting to move

[theeasterbaker]

Basically I feel very ostracised by my neighbours.

It all started when I had installed barriers to prevent my neighbours and their children walking literally next door to my living room on my own driveway.

It was a daily occurrence and I felt violated and as if I had no privacy.

My neighbours obviously took offence to this and don't really talk to me or include me in their chats or events.

I said hello to the kids and they just ignore me.

I have never been rude or nasty.

I was also made aware by another neighbour that they have an issue with that she had heard them slagging me off on her Ringdoor.

Just to point out it's a group of 4 single mothers who have issues with quite a few neighbours round here, one neighbour also called the police on one of the children for anti social behaviour a few weeks ago so it's not just me who has had issues with the children.

A delivery driver knocked my door last week to see if I would accept a delivery for one of them and I refused it (all of which was captured on the said neighbours CCTV).
Again caused more gossip amongst the estate.

I actually really want to move as it's not a nice atmosphere.

The other neighbours I am friendly with live on the next street say give it time and they will fall out amongst themselves as they are not nice woman, but I feel totally ostracised.

AIBU to feel like this and wanting to move?

If you don’t take in deliveries and put up barriers they will assume you do not want to be involved or friendly with them.

they aren’t ostracising you so much, more following your lead.

Is it that important to you? That you would move?

Surely how your neighbour feels about you occupied a teeny tiny part of your life and thinking? Work, family, friends… life?

What does them being single mothers have anything to do with… anything?

The planters and low fencing was to stop them walking past my window, they would at times be having full blokes convos next to my window.

I previously did accept delivery of their parcels but stopped when they just ignored me.

Those Single Mothers and thier Feral Children eh.

You all sound gossipy, and most probably deserve each other.

I didn't meant anything by the single mothers comment I was just giving context to the story.

It's just not a very nice feeling when I am coming back in or going out with the kids to be ignored and they are all chatting.

I wouldn’t move. Why would you care what they think of you? As long as they aren’t abusive or violent, who cares. Rise above it.

They're your neighbours, not your friends. Just ignore them and get on with your life. We had next door neighbours who never spoke to us, or other neighbours, we just ignored them too. Some people are odd, or unfriendly, or just keep to themselves. You don't have to let it affect you.

Try to ignore them and don't encourage others to talk to you about them. This will help you 'ignore their bad behaviour' and therefore not rewarding their bad behaviour. If they say hello, don't ignore and say hello back

What if you did move and it happened again in your new place? How long would you keep running.

It sounds like they are giving you the space you wanted.

You don't want anything to do with them. They are leaving you alone as these are the clear signals you've given.

So are you the house in the middle between two of these women? And what did you put up to stop them?
id get ged up with people walking past my window if i had a garden / driveway too so id also do what I could to stop the trespassing

This, you aren't going to improve things and regain civil interactions if you don't take a delivery.

Both my ndn's hate us. Less time I need to use on idle chatter with people imo.

My neighbours are strangers to me.
I know a couple, but don't have any thing to do with them.

Do you chat to them ? Do you message them? Do you arrange “events”? Invite them over for coffee?

I didn't meant anything by the single mothers comment I was just giving context to the story.

what context does their marital status add to the story?

I've been there. It's an awful feeling. But I don't think you should move. I'm pleased I didn't as the shit stirrers ended up moving anyway and now I have lovely neighbours ☺️

You sound like you have behaved fairly unneighbourly and this is the upshot

Just ignore them and get on with your life. I cant imagine ever caring about this.

I think you’ve started a few threads about this and I’m getting the sense that there is something else that’s happening in your life and you are using this as an outlet.

You were right to put up the fence / barrier.

I’ve never had issues with my neighbours but I don’t talk to them much, I really don’t need to have chit chats with neighbours.

As long as they are considerate and reasonable, I’m really not interested in their lives.

You need to stop worrying what your neighbours think about you.

Do you have a good support network of family and friends?

Yes I agree

I recognise this

Fencing off your driveway isn't unneighborly, most people have fences on their driveways. Walking over your neighbor's driveway and standing outside their front window chatting is unneighborly.

Its fine to change your front garden.
Its fine not to take it packages...

When you see them dont waste time saying hi, just get in your car and get on with your day....

If no one talks to you why do you know there was a such a to do.

Next time just say "oh normally no 16 takes their packages"

You are giving this a lot of headspace.

I think you need to stop caring about them. They were annoying you by going on your property, fair enough so you’ve created a boundary that stops them from doing it. They’ve not liked it, and they’ve taken to bitching about you behind your back about it.

Ask yourself, would you want to be their friend when they’ve displayed such petty behaviour? Stop caring about what they think of you because they’ve made it clear that they’re keen to make an enemy of you. That’s on them, not you.