Ostracised by neighbours & wanting to move

[theeasterbaker]

Basically I feel very ostracised by my neighbours.

It all started when I had installed barriers to prevent my neighbours and their children walking literally next door to my living room on my own driveway.

It was a daily occurrence and I felt violated and as if I had no privacy.

My neighbours obviously took offence to this and don't really talk to me or include me in their chats or events.

I said hello to the kids and they just ignore me.

I have never been rude or nasty.

I was also made aware by another neighbour that they have an issue with that she had heard them slagging me off on her Ringdoor.

Just to point out it's a group of 4 single mothers who have issues with quite a few neighbours round here, one neighbour also called the police on one of the children for anti social behaviour a few weeks ago so it's not just me who has had issues with the children.

A delivery driver knocked my door last week to see if I would accept a delivery for one of them and I refused it (all of which was captured on the said neighbours CCTV).
Again caused more gossip amongst the estate.

I actually really want to move as it's not a nice atmosphere.

The other neighbours I am friendly with live on the next street say give it time and they will fall out amongst themselves as they are not nice woman, but I feel totally ostracised.

AIBU to feel like this and wanting to move?

Screw em and hope for snow, then watch them slide down the drive on their scooters and laugh.

Are you one of the mean girls neighbours!?

Fair,I wouldn't take a parcel in for someone that ignored me and flagged me off,wtf does she expect

Do you live in Walford by any chance?

for enquiring what the OP means when saying she was providing “context” when she told us the women are single mothers

I suspect because it’s an important detail to @theeasterbaker because she judges single Mothers and assumed we would too

I'm not sure this will post but it's a video of Kate Winslet talking about how we need to understand that we simply cannot control what people think or say about us ... Honestly OP try to alter your mindset. Keep busy with other things in your life that bring you joy. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1588049155886602

No, you’ve been snippy with OP throughout the thread

I had a falling out with my neighbours either side - they are friends and gossip outside my house about me. In the beginning I hated it and wanted to move, but now I hold my head up high and smile to myself. People who behave like this are like school yard Mean Girls who have never grown up. When you start viewing them that way it becomes less overwhelming, infact you start to pity them.

Why do you care? They are not your friends, they are people who happen to share a bit of pavement with you. Just ignore them and hang out with your own friends.

Yup

I think she’s judging the women because they are single mothers, so happy to be a bit snippy!

This. Totally this.

Did you read all the crappy stuff they’re doing to her and some other neighbours, or are you just nit picking … these people sound bloody awful

The “nit picking” reveals a great deal about this OP

Shes judging these mothers
for being single mothers, I’d bet a lot on it.

And chances are… they are very aware of that fact and would rather not engage with her.

Make friends away from the local area was good advice I was given when we moved. The Lady who gave it had been involved in a serious accident and she found the local rumour mill unbearable, so they eventually left.

however if you can busy yourself with interests and activities away from home you will feel much better and also not care what the neighbours ‘might’ be thinking.

You can't expect them to be friendly if you refuse to take in parcels and put up barriers. That means keep away from me and I'll keep away from you.

You need somewhere more private, I get that. I hope you find somewhere that suits before too long.

I haven't been ostracised, and if I was it wouldn't bother me, as my partner and I are very strong willed and have learned over the years not to take any crap.l (took me decades, mind) BUT I had an almost identical issue to you.

There's a noisy alcoholic woman on one side of us, but at least she never comes near our door. On the other side is a man who was single and then met a woman who is an utter brat, and her kids are honestly awful. He openly tells my partner that she's from a horrible estate about 20 miles away, so she and her kids used to stay at his, and I nearly had a nervous breakdown. Booting balls at our door, swearing, destroying other people's gardens, pressing their noses against our living room window and staring in. You name it.

Thankfully he bought her a house a mile away (thank the Lord she didn't move in with him). But I know exactly what you mean and it's horrible when your privacy is attacked like that. It's always the types who would shout the loudest if you did the same to them who do it so easily to others.

It's actually the noisy alcoholic neighbour who would make me want to move. She just doesn't know how to live quietly.

As a pp said, please try and stop caring about them. Easier said than done but tell yourself that they just aren't important.

Yeah … I think you’re one of the mums

They’re only your neighbours, do you really care?

We have lovely neighbours but I wouldn’t give a hoot if we didn’t speak. They’re just neighbours, after all.

Honestly, they sound like a gang of Y8 girls. What a nutty bunch. Im sure it's upsetting to know you're being bitched about, but really, does it matter? Anyone they share their idiot opinions with, will hopefully consider the source and (rightly) assume that they are the loonies.

I certainly wouldn't be moving house because of it. What if you moved somewhere else and the new neighbours were even worse?

I had issues with one couple who lived next door. The male died and the female developed dementia and had to go live with her relatives. The house has now stood empty for 3 years. There have been 2 attempted break ins. Not my problem.

I dont take in parcels and most of the time I dont even acknowledge the bell unless Im expecting someone or a delivery. I just dont get involved with neighbours. They may be wonderful people for all I know. I rarely go out and when I do its straight into a taxi.

😆

As everyone else has said.
And why are you so fussed about socialising with neighbours? They are just people you have probably nothing in common with, apart from living in the same street. Most of us are delighted not to have to make small talk with the neighbours - count your blessings!

Why do you care? I despise that type of estate where everyone trips up to be best mates... until they aren't. I'm polite enough to my neighbours but keep a healthy distance. I don't want them in my home or business.

No I haven't got anything against single mothers to the poster that keeps saying that.

I don't want to socialise with them or be friends.
I just don't get why there is such weird atmosphere and why I have other neighbours filling me in on the latest and what's been said etc, it isn't very nice.

I live in a large town and all the houses are on a small estate.

We previously lived in a city and we hardly ever spoke or saw our neighbours and there was none of this neighbourhood gossip, all this is new to me.

It's like today the kids had some paint or dye stuff and it was all thrown on the pavement and cars ( we were out thankfully) and people are just supposed to say not in otherwise they get offended and don't talk to you.