Ostracised by neighbours & wanting to move

[theeasterbaker]

Basically I feel very ostracised by my neighbours.

It all started when I had installed barriers to prevent my neighbours and their children walking literally next door to my living room on my own driveway.

It was a daily occurrence and I felt violated and as if I had no privacy.

My neighbours obviously took offence to this and don't really talk to me or include me in their chats or events.

I said hello to the kids and they just ignore me.

I have never been rude or nasty.

I was also made aware by another neighbour that they have an issue with that she had heard them slagging me off on her Ringdoor.

Just to point out it's a group of 4 single mothers who have issues with quite a few neighbours round here, one neighbour also called the police on one of the children for anti social behaviour a few weeks ago so it's not just me who has had issues with the children.

A delivery driver knocked my door last week to see if I would accept a delivery for one of them and I refused it (all of which was captured on the said neighbours CCTV).
Again caused more gossip amongst the estate.

I actually really want to move as it's not a nice atmosphere.

The other neighbours I am friendly with live on the next street say give it time and they will fall out amongst themselves as they are not nice woman, but I feel totally ostracised.

AIBU to feel like this and wanting to move?

What difference does it make whether they're single mothers or not?

They don't like you or know you and they don't have to like you. Where I live most people don't know their neighbours at all. Other than a cursory 'alright?' and smile.

If people didn't talk to me it wouldn't affect my life either way. They're not your friends. They just happen to live near you.

"Single Mothers" and "Bloke Conversations" 😂 "Barriers" and then refusing to take in a package!!

No wonder they dont want to talk to you!!

Mid read the op

Can't you read? Or are you one of the neighbours?

Sounds ideal to me. They are only people that live in houses around you. I couldn’t give a shit what my neighbours think of me. I’ve lived here 20 years and don’t know more than 2.

What a peculiar post

Agree

How is it peculiar? Op hardly started things did she.

What on earth did them being “single mothers” have to do with any of this?????

Did you speak to them about walking past your window before you put the barriers up?

Apparently “context”

@theeasterbaker wont be back to clarify what she thought their marital status added to the story 🤔

It's the gossiping that bothers me.
Everyone seems to know everything.

It was my next door neighbours daughter's 1st birthday a few weeks ago and I had no idea until I saw the bunting and balloons etc.

And she was telling people I was unfriendly because I didn't go round with a card and gift?

It's always in the children's playground that I get told XYZ and hear the latest on what's happened.

If they don't like me fair enough (I don't know why as I have never bothered them) but then why should I be expected to help with parcels?

Oh dear op, do you work you seem hugely focused on these women; it’s not healthy.

I was just saying that they are single mothers to give context as previously mentioned.

I did say to them "Hey, you OK? Would please mind not keep walking past my living room window please? And also the kids do it a lot as well".

And they still kept doing it.

Fuck them OP. Try not to care

You sound like hard work, but if you want to move you obviously can.

I agree with this. You are being perceived as unfriendly and unneighbourly

I’m sociable with friends and family.
Neighbours I tolerate, well some of them.

Again

What context does their marital status add to your situation?

And if this is the op myself and another poster thinks… then this is one of many many threads about these neighbours that always end with the consensus being - Op… do them a favour, and move!!

The walking past your window was the hill you were prepared to die on. So now you have no relationship with them. Own it. The gossiping will die down in time is you let it.

Our neighbours have suddenly become totally batshit crazy…….we have helped and supported them for months, offered lifts to and fro, collected large items from supermarkets that they can’t get on their mobility scooters, cleared their drive of snow, spread grit on ice in winter so they could mobilise safely……..you name it, we have done it…….and now they just ignore us for no apparent reason! When I asked what was wrong they just said they didn’t want to talk to us! 🤷‍♀️

do you live in a village? If do this is totally normal.

I grew up in a town and it was a shock when I moved to a village but I’m used to it now.

Basically it sounds like tit for tat. They were walking across your driveway, and talking in front of your window, so you put up a fence, so they stoppes talking to you, so you stopped taking deliveries. But you're upset they don't involve you in conversations and events. If you care about being involved, you need to step back the tit for tat. If you sin't care about being involved, then just ignore them.

There’s a big difference between being a civil neighbour eg taking the odd parcel versus being friends. It sounds like you don’t even want to to the basics. Say hello when you see them. Avoid gossip and get on with your life. Be a good neighbour when you can with the parcels/bins and similar minor local things.