What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

I didn’t come here to discuss this. Keep to the topic in hand

Every relationship works uniquely and works for them as individuals and as a couple/team.
some households have partners that both work and some don’t - it’s nothing new. It works for us and we love it. I love being at home with my children whilst others wouldn’t. Let’s not judge other women in that way here today please ❤️

Not all siblings have the same innate skills and abilities.

You're talking out your arse

It seems clear to me that your SIL is jealous of you.
If you have a much nicer lifestyle than her, that's understandable. I grew up pretty poor and would look in wonder at large, comfortable houses, and people (children) in flashy cars. They seemed to be a different type of human.
I think the point you're making is that, having paid for your expensive house, expensive cars and expensive schools, you can't just splash what's left around.
Nevertheless, your SIL is still being mean spirited in making nasty comments, especially if she is benefitting financially from your income.
It must be hard for the majority on much lower incomes to read that you don't consider yourself rich. I guess that explains the harsh comments.

It's not ridiculous at all. Mbappé was born with specific physical and mental abilities which made him able to do a job which pays well.

Here's another example if you didn't like that one. I'm a barrister, neither my brother nor my sister, however hard they worked, could ever do my job, or indeed any job which could lead to a comparable income.

And I should point out that yearly compensation is drawn from net profits, not gross, and is generally determined by level, which can change from year to year, and which defines percentage of ownership. Different firms may have slightly different compensation models but that's pretty standard.

‘We have worked really hard’

you don’t have a job.

I’m sorry but even if my husband earnt enough for me to not work, I still would

My simple definition would be having enough to never work again. How much that is would depend on your yearly spending habits. This is probably a more modest benchmark than most though.

I get that. I really didn’t mean to offend anyone or come across that I didn’t think I lived a nice life. It was more that I didn’t consider myself to be ‘rich’

We do choose to pay for private schools etc but it’s planned and budgeted and we go without in other places as the children’s schooling is a high priority for us a family. All families have their priorities and they vary but that is ours for various reasons.

Thank you for this x

While I get what you're saying, in a marriage, some achievements are definitely shared. My husband earns pretty well but he definitely could not have got to where he is without me holding down the fort with the kids. I work full time and I take on the vast majority of the chores and childcare, because his hours are longer than mine. He has achieved amazing things professionally/academically which are all on him, but our financial success as a family is collective.

And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are

It’s cringe enough hearing ‘we have worked really hard to be where we are’ from people who work, we don’t need to hear it from a housewife.

You must lead a very empty life to be bragging on an anonymous site.

I particularly like the really mangy ones. So sexy (fanning myself) 😂

Yes absolutely! The yearly drawings are dependant on firm success and changes every year. If it’s been a bad year financially for the firm it could quite literally be nothing (it’s never happened for us 🤞🏼)

An income 8 times the national average,plus a bonus, and you don't consider yourself rich?

How do you define the term?

That was what I came here to decipher 😝

Assuming there's no health issue, I find it hard to believe that your siblings couldn't do a similar job OR a job with a similar income in a different area OR start their own business and earn similar and so on.

You can have a successful plumbing business and earn more than a barrister.

At some point, it becomes a choice and when you all have access to the same school, same education.

I don't want to be too alluring but I inherited mine retirement from a QC who bought it in the 60s - it's both musty AND yellow. Especially the little rat tail bits 🙊

Well you certainly don't fall into the poverty bracket!

It's hard when people feel you can't possibly struggle because you're comfortable.

For me, rich is peace of mind - not worrying if the car or boiler breaks down because you can absorb the cost. To some it means owning a yacht and a mansion.

Your sil is showing her envious streak by making comments about your lifestyle. It's on her, not you.

You are rich then. I'm honestly surprised you didn't know that

We do choose to pay for private schools etc but it’s planned and budgeted and we go without in other places as the children’s schooling is a high priority for us a family. All families have their priorities and they vary but that is ours for various reasons.

I do a lot of volunteering with an organisation that works with families that are on the absolute bones of their arses, like can barely afford to turn on the hob, if they have a working one, to make dinner for the family. I can assure you that a very large percentage of them place every bit as much importance on their children's schooling as you do. It's also a high priority for them as a family. Being able to afford to send your kids to private school (as you are and as I did) does not in any way, shape or form denote that you place a higher value on your children and their education than people who can't, it just means you have more money.

That attitude fucks me right off and is starting to give me some real sympathy for your s-i-l.

I think it's the best definition of the thread.

If you have to get up to go to work to pay the bills, and your lifestyle would be catastrophically impacted if you ever had a long illness or were unable to work for longer than your workplace would pay your full salary, I don't believe you are "rich".

I have many ‘jobs’ as a mother

I love that us women have the choice now a days. I totally respect that some women would work regardless. You must do what makes you happy

I'm blaming the fact that I have terrible jet lag (which is why I'm awake right now) for the fact that I found that very funny, and of course, just a little hot.

Your experience of families must be extraordinarily limited if you think all siblings have exactly the same earning potential.

Honestly it's such a dim take, there's no point arguing with it.

I’m sorry you’ve been angered
you’ve misread or misconstrued it but I’m not here for arguing so will leave you with your interpretation