What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

Your posts do give me a laugh. Thank you.

I guess I need to give my head a wobble

Definitely that

❤️

You'd hope she's not managing the household finances if she doesn't even know how much "they" are earning or how "they" are getting paid?

Yes, you can do the qltt. (I’m also a solicitor married to a solicitor who is an equity partner 😂) But there’s no suggestion OP’s husband did that. I think she’s just trying to wind people up.

first rule of MN - work hard but never be successful in monetary terms as this is attributed to being lucky…

OP your SIL is rude to make those comments unless you were openly discussing finances

It seems to come as surprise - all people need to budget no matter what the level of income

Yes it’s all drawings! But you have an amount that you ‘draw upon’ monthly and then the remainder of whatever percentage you’re on within the equity is taken once a year.

I worded it very incorrectly to simplify it I guess but it just confused things more. Apologies.

How rich is "rich"? Supposedly rich people on here (with the income similar to you) moan about tax hike on their private school fees - so how rich are you if you can't afford extra grand a month on something that you consider essential?

To me, rich is someone who never have to worry about not having enough money, whatever their spending. So its a proportional thing and can relate to different levels of income.

Sorry this was to @answersonly

Its privilege for starters. Maybe not luck but there is a degree of privilege to even be able to study further. I can't comprehend the amount your dh earns. I feel comfortable to well off and I earn a fraction with zero security behind me. But I am comfortable, I have savings and I earn enough to afford housing, food, pets, occasional drink with friends or day out, presents for my family, modest holidays.
Its not that you didnt work hard, its that it is much harder here and now for people who didnt get what your family did. I have friends who also earn a fraction of what your dh earns but a load more than me but constantly complain they're underpaid and act like they're on the breadline. Despite feeling comfortable myself, I find it grating.

@OneBreezyHelper What's with the "Support" reaction? Are you just being sarcastic? Bit childish don't you think?

In what way do you work hard. Given you do not work ?

It depends on what you say to her or how you portray your life to others. If I had a SIL who was boasting about the type of car they drove, what their husband earned, saying that her DH was a barrister instead of a solicitor etc frankly I’d laugh at her. We have family and friends from different backgrounds, some who earn much less than us and some who earn more than us but it’s never an issue or commented on. For me, personally, anyone that uses the word rich (as in financially rich) is vulgar. It’s not a term we’d use. There’s been a few odd posts recently on here about being ‘rich’ and women not working. I often wonder why people post threads like this? Is it for some sort of reassurance or is it simply goady? If you’re comfortable with your life choices surely you don’t need the attention from anon posts on a forum to ask why your SIL makes these comments.

Regardless, your SIL and her brother have been raised in identical conditions, been given the same opportunities etc.

She could have earned just as much if she had wanted to. She chose a different path, then she's BU to be resentful and jealous. No one stopped her?

MN posters always blame their "circumstances", but when you talk about a brother and sister, these don't apply between siblings.

I don’t work now but have in the past

I’d like to say this is a stealth boast but it isn’t really very stealthy.

For “earns” you really should’ve said “gets paid”, I doubt he works 10 times as hard as a nurse.

I actually agree with you being a former nurse 😜

The firm I was at did give bonuses (as does DH's) although they're not a huge part of total compensation.

I left a while ago to do something else, but DH's firm does monthly distributions that vary and then very large distributions at the end of their financial year (which comes at a strange time), at the end of December and then another mid-way through January. If you've had a very good year, you will sometimes get a January bonus, but as they're not a given, I wouldn't have wanted to rely on them.

But this is a US firm, London office, so mileage may vary.

My sister-in-law has never said anything about any of it.
Should say, none of my sisters-in-law. I have several, all silent on the matter of relative wealth or lack thereof.

There is a varied way in each firm. The equity partnership is also different in different firms with varying levels and percentage of yearly gross made etc. It’s not a ‘one size fits all’

my husband’s is released once a year in May after the financial year has been calculated.

I never understand these comments.

Saying that someone works hard never means that someone else doesn't?

That's such a stupid take, sorry.

It's like saying Kylian Mbappé's brother had the same upbringing as him so he should be earning the same amount if only he worked as hard 😂

I work really hard - I would annihilate my husband if he was swanning round acting as though his part time unskilled job was paying for everything and that my hard work / high salary / status was somehow something he could claim by dint of sharing a home and kids. 🤣

💯

There are lots of people that work hard within their jobs, this doesn’t mean it’s reflected in their wages unfortunately. It would be nice if the harder you work the more you got paid but it’s quite the opposite on times

Um, yes? Was there something in my reply that led you to think I didn't?

Indeed, my sister will never be able to earn what I do. Not through any fault of hers

what a ridiculous comparison and you know it.

Siblings have the same parental involvement and financial resources, go to the same schools, have the same opportunities. Entirely their choice if they go for a career that pays, or one that pays a lot less.

No one, but no one, has ever said there was anything wrong in being a nurse (for example) but you know before you even start your first day of training that you won't earn the same as an investment banker, even if you move towards private cosmetic practice.

It's a choice. It's just about income, it's not a judgement of value, unless you have a massive chip on your shoulder.