What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

@Soccermomsavesthedayyour DH earns in the top 1% of salaries.

So yes you are rich, wealthy and very privileged.

your are richer than 99% of people in the UK

Leave it your husband to support his sister. I'm the higher earner in our wider family and I supported my brother with a deposit for a house. Why would I want to see my sibling struggling when I am doing well. That is just want families do.

OP, did you and your husband go to private schools?

That’s why I said ‘feel’. It’s not ‘easily spent’ it’s essential outgoings. And with regards to nursery it an expense that only people with a high salary have to pay. We pay thousands a month that those with a lower income don’t - for the same service. Even though the income Is taxed at 45%.

No. There are hundreds of thousands of women who work AND raise children.

Being a SAHM isn’t easy, because it’s boring (I know from experience). But it isn’t hard work.

Staying at home whilst your husband works in a well paid job is easy, it certainly isn’t hard. You must have a very small perspective on real life if you think that’s hard work. Hard work is juggling work, alongside a family and home. And it’s irrespective of salary, lots of lowely workers work harder than management.

You absolutely don’t need to be spending that much. It’s a choice. God help those on average salaries hey, or do they not live in your area?

How much do you think nursery costs? There is no free nursery, so my choice is either to work and pay fees or not to work. Yes a childminder is marginally cheaper. The whoooole point of what I said (reading comprehension skills!) is that those on average salary do not spend the amount we do on nursery as they get free hours 🙄

How much do you actually have in savings? £1-2 million or more on top of your possessions, or virtually nothing? How long would you be wealthy if your DH lost his job?

The definition of wealthy is usually someone with more money than you.

I find this an odd goady thread and if feels like you wish to show off. For context before I start my husband and I are both high earners and our annual income is considerably higher than yours, but I’d never start a thread to tell people. if I didn’t work and was a nurse when I did work, I certainly would not claim we had worked hard to get here.

its lovely you enjoy staying at home when your kids are at school I don’t judge that, it wasn’t for me, but each to their own, I do judge the way you take credit for your husbands income like it’s your success and it’s your earnings, it is not.

there is something in your tone which I suspect drives your sil comments, I feel an urge to do similar and it’s the show off tone to it. Even when we earn more I feel my nose wrinkling in disgust at you.

£7k mortgage is quite mental though, you are brave to take that on!

A 7k mortgage, even in London, is so far beyond “essential goings”.
Taking out a 25 year term with an interest rate of 4.5% you are talking close to 1.5M on the mortgage loan alone.
You can hardly choose to borrow that much for a house and moan about your essentials being high.

I took it that £7k covers mortgage and nursery fees which is completely believable.

£3k mortgage plus 2 times £2k nursery fees.

I never paid a penny for nursery.

And?

The OP’s quote suggested that was the mortgage.

£7k mortgage plus nursery very possible with two small kids in London though - I spend this myself.

Over £4k a month on nursery this year, shocking.

By average you mean a couple on £99k each yeah?

Just saying…

Possibly, I read it as covering both

”nursery fees/ mortgage for a 4 bed terr (7k per month)”

But who cares? If you didn’t use childcare then it won’t have cost you anything. You also don’t work so you have no income. I don’t think that’s a better place to be.

The cliff edge for childcare support is so wrong and leads to all sorts of unhelpful consequences.

Yes it is hard work but someone saying you re also lucky doesnt have to be negative.

luck is

• working class parents who valued education, prioritise education
• smart enough to pursue education beyond grad level
• smart enough to understand the politics in a company and work up the career ladder
• luck to be at the right place at the right time
• luck to meet people who value tour opinions and give you a chance, a promotion, etc

so yes you worked hard but you were also very lucky

i had luck of birth and all the luck above, but I did work very very very hard to be where I am now with an undiagnosed - at the time - dislexia and no prescription glasses because my vision was 20/20 so here you have it. I am very lucky and so are you

You actively choose not to work. That is a luxury. I don’t think you’re rich but to pretend you have a modest lifestyle is a bit embarrassing.

You choose how to live your life.

Fuck 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

I am RETIRED.

I retired on my 60th birthday two years ago. I own my house mortgage free. I have a private pension, as does my husband who also retired on his 60th birthday three years ago.

How on earth do you think people survive with, as you put it, “no income”?

You sound unwell tbh.

Well in the OP”s example her husband pays for her life so that’s how she has no income.

In the absence of any information about your age who is to know you aren’t also a SAHM posting about how you don’t pay anything for childcare.

I’m not sure why you choose to be so unpleasant.