What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

I’d imagine your barrister husband would be pretty embarrassed by you boasting about his income. How does a barrister get a bonus? Speaking as someone working in the legal profession who understands how chambers work.

He’s not a barrister.

You don't get a pension as income? Mad

I responded to your unpleasantness with my own. Don’t give out what you can’t take back.

Her husband doesn’t “pay for her life”, they have a thing called a “marriage” which means that two people decide to spend their lives together, then think about a baby.

As grown adults they then discuss who will bring up their baby.

Some think “strangers, but we’ll do the bed times and the weekends” and some think us, but we will be completely skint as one or both of us will have to reduce our hours at work.”

At no point does one of them say “I’m paying for your life as a mother to children that are mine”.

That you think jointly deciding what’s best for the children you both produced is paying for your life is weird.

I feel that wording should be: us rich/higher income women have the choice now-a-days.

To be honest, it does feel as though you don't realise how privileged you are... your income gives you options that many women can only dream of. Your lifestyle and attitude is very different compared to people who don't have the same income. That's probably understandable (the shift is likely gradual), but I feel you probably do need to be more aware/try to acknowledge it.

I confused.

You were replying to someone saying they needed to use childcare because they worked.

You said you didn’t use childcare. Now angry at idea this suggests you don’t (didn’t) work.

So, what did you do with your children, given you apparently worked full time but didn’t use childcare?

A barrister working in a law firm is an employed barrister. He works in a regional office of a law firm.

I wouldn't call the lifestyle you describe here as modest for the average household & just because you 'budget' non essential items doesn't mean that you can't be out of touch with the folks who budget as well but do so to pay for basic things.
Like others have said rich is subjective. IMO I would not class you as rich, unless you have a few million in assets but you are very well off.

She later updated that he's not a barrister of any kind, but in fact a solicitor (who's an equity partner). Apparently she said "barrister" when she meant "solicitor" because she thought that for "lay people" that would be easier to understand. Despite that a barrister is completely different to a solicitor - not least in how we get paid! If you're lost, join the club 😂

Yes, we live on fresh air apparently.

I did work but went job share. My parents and MIL looked after my children on the 2.5 days I worked.

I didn’t use paid child care.

Oh I missed that. Assume OP wasn’t expecting lawyers on the forum.

Why so many threads about how much money people have. Do people just think, oh, I'll go on MN and talk about my money

That is the route for every solicitor!

It is luck. You live off your husband.

Guess so. Then she weirdly accused those who corrected her of pretending to be lawyers. Because apparently if we were real lawyers, we'd know that it makes total sense to call an equity partner a barrister.

Hope she's not helping him fill in his practising certificate renewal forms lol.

Because someone kindly provided it for you for free, while working part-time.

Most people don’t have either of those luxuries, and particularly not today!

You were very lucky to have that option. Not everyone has local relatives nearby they are able to leave their children with.

She is raising their joint children. She puts in as much as he does.

Now she does but she hasn’t always. Sounds like THEY built their wealth and family together.
Strong relationships discuss future plans and make sacrifices where needed to get to where they want to be.

Then, as people on here are quick to say to benefits claimants, why have children you can’t afford?

This may be true but the SIL seems to be utterly jealous making the kind of remarks she makes about another family's lifestyle. Personally I would tell her that that harder we worked the luckier we became and suggests she tries it instead of taking pot-shots.

This site has been an eye-opener for me in how invested family members are in the lives of each other, makes me glad we spent a long time abroad working and don't mix much with family because of distance! Does no-one ever tell these relatives who comment to mind their own business?

I agree. However, the hypocrisy on here about benefits claimants having children they can’t “afford” does my head in when people who can clearly afford paid child care claim it for free as a benefit while working and denigrating SAHP as “ living off” their partner.

In my opinion, the OP’s children are benefiting from having her there.

BTW, we were skint for years due to me going part time, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it as my 12 years part time and being with my sons most of my week were the best years of my life.

Yes clearly it made you a very happy person.

Nope. Just the OP's husband. The other couple hundred thousand practicing in the UK took the easier route.