What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

This - OP’s husband has a high income but we haven’t been told enough about their total assets to decide if they’re ‘rich’.

To me, rich means you don’t have to work in order to maintain your chosen standard of living. Obviously that will vary from person to person, so I couldn’t put a monetary value on it.

I think hardly anyone thinks of themselves as rich - it’s always what the people a bit richer than them are. (Unless you’re Elon Musk or a premiership footballer).

I think we’re comfortable / lucky - just about scrape a 6 figure combined salary, pretty much no mortgage and 2 kids in private school mostly paid for by wider family which means we can afford nice holidays once or twice a year. We both have to work though as our salaries are fairly even.

I don’t think we’re rich, we see lots of people soooo much better off than us in the playground (and we’re certainly not rich by Mumsnet standards!) but equally I appreciate that compared to a family on minimum wage we probably are and I mostly feel very lucky.

My husband earns £28Ok a year and I earn 90k. I'd say you were just scraping by(Joke).

I notice you don't mention investments and other sources of passive income. Based on the information you've provided, I wouldn't consider you 'rich' by current standards and relying solely on earned income from one person with such a high level of outgoings would be quite uncomfortable for a lot of people.

Where on earth does all that money go?

“I don’t have to work so I don’t” paints a full picture all by itself.

Husband's golf and cocaine habits?

If you can afford private school in this economy then you are rich. You have just chosen to spend you money on something you think is important/worthwhile. If I earn a million pounds and spend it all it doesn't mean I'm not rich. Also just because you earn it/work hard doesn't mean you aren't rich. Suck it up and enjoy your privilege . Its ok to have wealth and spend it as you wish but stop whinging everyone doesn't see your 'struggle' and stop comparing to wealthier people

Prostitutes?

Your SIL is jealous - I’m sure she’d love your lifestyle and that’s where the barbed comments are coming from. What counts as rich so much depends on your outgoings I think. My dp and I earn about £70k between us after tax which years ago when there were just two of us would have felt like a fortune. Now with two teenagers, one at private school as she wasn’t coping in mainstream (SEN), it doesn’t go very far and both of us are working so hard that we have little leisure time. I’d still say we’re relatively rich compared to a big chunk of the population - we own our house, have a car, can pay the bills.

I think you’re rich.

I feel rich compared to lots of my friends and my income is a fraction of yours. One dc at private school (pay half fees with xh)

I’m wondering what your non extravagant cars, clothes and holidays are?

I would class 2 fairly new range rovers as rich. The Aston Martin drivers I would
class as super-wealthy. I drive an 8 year old estate and plan to drive it for at least another 5 years.

Where do you holiday? This year I have a camping trip, a week in a cottage in the uk and self catering long weekend in a European city break which is my extravagance.

Where do you buy clothes? I do M&S, next and vinted.

I might be wrong but suspect that you are doing significantly more than me but I would never feel insulted if someone said I was rich as I’m happy with my lifestyle.

The thing is there will almost always be someone richer than you, unless you’re Elon Musk, and it’s common for those who others see as well off to try to convince themselves they’re not rich. Seen it all my life as someone who has never earned more than average income - and I’m now a single mum so that’s our household income, plus some maintenance. My friend with the lawyer dad and council boss mum growing up was always obsessing about how they weren’t rich while showing off her expensive stuff to me. I’ve had my hospital consultant friend with a similarly well-paid H moaning to me that money is tight. People don’t like to be thought of as rich.

But if I was told that from tomorrow I’d be earning £250K a year I’d consider myself fecking loaded. You need to try to see it from that (which is most people’s) perspective and graciously accept you are well-off and don’t cringe about it. Yes, you have spending power most people will never have and many can’t even imagine. It’s not a crime and I wouldn’t hold it against you but I WOULD roll my eyes if you started bleating on about how you weren’t well off.

’To go without’ implies you’re sacrificing essentials.. Very different to ‘easily done on our income’.

It’s funny how you and OP keep implying other people are lying but everything OP says is sacrosanct.

Your SIL is being very unreasonable to be so rude. You are very well off and I wouldn't call your lifestyle 'modest'. However of course there are some people even better off. 'Rich' is relative. I feel rich compared to most of the people on this earth and our income is less than half yours and we both have to work full time for It (and work hard too!) It sounds like she'd be horrible whatever your income as long as it was more than hers. I would ask her what she means by that every time she comments.

Agree with this 💯!
Lots of people work bloody hard but don’t have half or anywhere near what the OP and her hubby have and never will. The OP is out of touch and her SIL is spot on.

You said in later posts that your DH did a total of four years of professional training. That’s the standard length of a PhD.

You trained as a nurse. A critically important profession but an undergraduate degree, if any, normally.

In what sense have you both trained ‘far beyond post graduate level’?

To consider any success ‘hard work and entirely lacking of any luck’ makes my blood run cold. Tell that to some of our best and brightest young science PhDs as one funding stream after another dries up.

That’s not well off. My DH and I earn more than that and I wouldn’t consider us well off,
and we’ve got multiple land assets.

But, as you say, it’s all relative. Depends on your outgoings and what you call luxuries etc.

Depends. Both DH and I have earned £100k plus each for a few years. But with high childcare and mortgage costs we did’t consider ourselves rich as such: high mortgage payments, one very old car, only UK holidays, state schools, not much in savings etc. However, a few years on, childcare costs have dropped and we’ve saved hard, so now have significant equity in our home, savings, pensions etc so yes, we are now rich. Sure, doesn’t buy us as much as we’d thought it would, we don’t do exotic holidays or designer clothes. We’re very conscious of university costs on the horizon and that our kids will probably never be able to buy a home without help, so a huge chunk of our savings are earmarked for that. Means that, while a generation ago people like us would be looking at early retirement, cruises etc, we’re looking at working until our late sixties and a much less lavish retirement than our parents generation, despite looking pretty wealthy on paper.

Our parents’ generation would probably have considered our lifestyle reasonably modest given our professions and income, but by modern standards we’re rich. So all depends on your definition of rich. We’ve worked hard and also been lucky so we’re pretty grateful.

Most of my family would tell you I’m the “rich one”, and compared to our experiences growing up, they are right. My lifestyle feels rich to me (supermarket shopping without worrying about the prices, holidays, some money into savings each month) and my income is perhaps half of yours. I think too many people define rich as the billionaire, super yacht types - that is a different league of rich.

Always love the women super proud of……..someone else’s salary.

Absolutely constant on MN. Cringeworthy.

I agree with you OP. You’re not rich at all; rich to me is someone with over £1m in the bank (not assets) and never needing to think about their budget.

You’re certainly well off or comfortable, but not rich.

What a ghastly post.

I have a client who has 25 rental properties. He doesn’t consider himself anywhere near rich or well off.