What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

This is a classic case of people arguing over crumbs when we are increasingly becoming a dystopian world akin to Bladerunner.

The status that OP’s husband has would long time ago allowed him to build up substantial investments and savings plus retire early at say aged 60 or less.

Although they can still afford some trapping of wealth the cost of private education has increased twice as fast as inflation. Taxation has risen considerably. This is all masked by the surplus that some middle classes still have but those days are numbered. That surplus will increasingly diminish,

Thw future big 4 or equity partner in medium law firms will consider themselves rich affording a semi detached house.

In 30 years time there will be no real middle class

It will be the uber Uber rich who pay minimal tax and live im off shore island ghettos.

Very rich

Worker - this will include eg consultants, accountants at consultant level , solicitors at higher levels only , doctors. AI designers, IT consultants, gym trainers, civil engineers, social workers, nurses etc and some unskilled workers to do jobs robots can’t.

Robots - eg cleaners, bin collection, account data processors, basic operations, shop operations, warehouse housing

Underclass - non working paid a ‘living’ wage to exist and encouraged not to breed with higher payments

So fro now feel ok off but the tax take will continue to go northward. Work will become more AI driven and the uber rich will consolidate their wealth and not pay their share so your DH will be sitting firmly in the net of higher taxation and a longer time until retirement.

Not a whine, just pointing out facts. Hope that helps.

Even with £0 pension contributions, £250k is close to £146k after tax FYI.

I'm thinking this might be a pisstake.

And…that’s still a lot of money…we earn that before tax and we are well off!

You can google 'how rich am I' calculators and put in your income. I've done mine. I earn half as much and am in the top 4 percent. I consider myself well off in comparison to a lot of people.
Do I feel 'rich'? of course not if I compare myself to the people in the higher brackets. But you need to get some perspective which you can do with research. I mean, the majority of the worlds population havent even taken a flight before. Think about yourself in the wider context, you are in the elite of the world with your income.
You would literally be off the chart On the calculator..
Do some research and ground yourself.
Just because you worked hard and got degrees etc doesnt mean you worked harder than someone else on 30k a year. Maybe you were blessed with things they weren't, higher intelligence, a family member or adult who championed them, looks and personality, being in the right place at the right time to capture an opportunity, being born in a country with a strong currency. All these things also have a huge impact on someones outcome. Not just how hard they worked.

What is your pension status. Do you have a defined pension based on a % of your salaries? This makes a huge difference.

Wealth is ultimately determined by pension income/ size of pension pot not current income.

You mean a DH that wasn't rich at all until the OP worked her ass off to get him through law school? The SIL and the OP's DH come from the same family, I presume. So, both had equal opportunities to better themselves educationally. One chose to do and his DW, the OP, worked to help him achieve his goals.

Maybe more people should have higher goals for themselves?

I think in reality, if your husband is PAYE/employed, the top £100k of that salary is going in tax/NI and school fees which makes a huge difference.

I thought you didn't discuss finances with friends?

Too much BS in your posts. I'm out !

What a bizarre thread.

I'm not at all convinced by the whole barrister/equity partner in a law firm rubbish (although there are a lot of people who think that a barrister is a senior solicitor) but anyway.

If you spout the whole "my husband is a barrister" twaddle to make him sound more important then I'm not surprised people think you're pretentious (and not very bright).

At £250k joint income from one earner you are not rich. You are however very well off compared to most of the population. If you're paying multiple school fees out of one income though that will be eating a large chunk of your money.

Ah got to love these threads. Nothing sets of the MN base more than a goady money thread (except a Dubai thread).

Student loans get people through law school.

As many others have pointed out, you are very well off by most people's standards. There is no getting away from that.

However, I do think it's pretty rude for people in your life to make the sort of comments you describe, particularly if they do so repeatedly, so you're not unreasonable to be miffed about that!

You have chosen to spend lots of money on private education for your children, absorbing a significant proportion of your income and spending in a sweep each year more money than many people would have to live off. You have chosen not to work yourself when you could presumably significantly increase your household income if you chose, and this too is a luxury (not that running a household and supporting 3 children is 'easy' - I don't mean to disparage SAHMs - but there is a reality that not everyone can afford to be one). Clearly you could choose a very different lifestyle with thousands of pounds a month going on flashy stuff but you are making a decision to prioritise other things (a decision which sounds to me entirely sensible, incidentally - not that a stranger's opinion counts for anything!).

It really is all relative. I'm sure there are multimillionaires out there who still budget. There are not many people at a level of wealth which means they can do whatever they want without thinking about it. And yes, there are of course plenty of people wealthier than you with bigger, fancier houses and more expensive cars, and many of them probably don't feel wealthy either. People's financial horizons naturally adjust depending on what they are used to and what they see around them.

I would say you are minted.

As for your SIL's comments, they do seem a bit unncessary and possibly smack of jealousy. But it's clear you are not aware of your relative privilege so I can see why that would grate.

Thanks. I was going by what someone else said

but still should be and to pay for private leaving £100k spare to pay for mortgage bills etc

Thought you said you have to ‘go without’ to be able to pay for private school?

Why the change in narrative?

@Soccermomsavestheday
I would find it very hard to give money to my SIL if she spoke to me in such an insulting derogatory way about my finances.

She is very rude, and the one that is acting very entitled.

Maybe it’s time for you to put her in her place and remind her about the sacrifices you both had to make to get where you are today.

Pension is 10% paid by employer and then we can add a minimum of 5%, I do an extra 7% and I will increase this to 10% next year. Dh does 11% contribution. We get annual bonus of 8% of which I put into my pension and dh does half pension and half shares.

Or need a vehicle with a good torque and power to tow a few tonnes……. Which is what they were designed for incidentally !

Nailed it

Yes but you don't work hard. Your husband does

Huge difference between rich and a good salary.

You might disagree but that doesn't make me wrong.

High income but in loads of debt because they can't manage their money doesn't mean that they are rich.

And that is NOT what she said, AT ALL! But, when one looks to be offended, they usually don't need to look beyond themselves.

I find it hard to believe you are a lawyer...actually, maybe not since many of you do a business of blaming the victim as you defend a criminal.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer might let a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer knows how to make it last even longer.

This seems very specific…!

Why is pension the number one factor?!