To ask she goes in an Air BnB

[TinselandTiarasRightNow]

Mil is really nice. She's wanted to move house for a while and has had a quick sale. She needs to be out ASAP and hasn't found another property. She doesnt want to lose the sale as its been hard to come by. We're looking at houses. However its likely she'll soon be homeless and have to stay with us. This could be a few months. Aibu to ask She goes to an air bnb instead ?

I would feel bad not helping family out in this situation. It's only a few months

my DH had our parents in law stay with us with their cat too for three weeks at a time. I was trying ot wrote my phd and also doing there other jobs.

this kind of thing ended up breaking me and I went into a horrific psychosis from stress

If you want to continue having a good relationship with her I wouldn’t have her stay for long! What does your DH think? It’s his mother.

Oh right!! Yeah that makes total sense.

In the circumstances the OP describes:

If it was your mother ?

She'd get an Airbnb.

if you were homeless ?

I'd get an Airbnb.

friend had similar with mil moving in due to same circs… very quickly became mummy and precious boy vs wicked mean friend..”what do you mean he needs to do the washing” and mil did his and hers… no more nights out without mummy as she’d be soo sad…

With the RRA coming in in May she can get a rental property and only have to give a very short amount of notice the way the new Act favours tenants.

If she has already sourced a new property then Airbnb is fine too whether your mum or your MIL

I would tell her how much you love her and value your great relationship. So you don’t want to risk that by exposing yourself to the risks that would inevitably arise from trying to live together for months.

Yes minimum. Plus she’s got to look and if there’s an onward chain it could be a long while.

It’s not your responsibility to house her.

if she’s selling a property then she’s in the same position as everyone else who us buying and selling you either co-ordinate sale and purchase or rent.

I think this would be a good compromise if you have the space. It's hard to have someone new in your space, even if you love them. I could probably manage with my mum indefinitely (not sure she'd feel the same mind) but my MiL would be really challenging, even though she's really lovely. We're just v different.

What is months comparing to lifetime?

I would suggest the same as you!

Maybe she is not looking forward to moving in with you, so it might not be for too long. I couldn’t turn away from her,especially as you say she’s lovely.

What?

How much space do you have?

Sod that. My house purchase took 9 months to go through and that was with no chain. Unless you have a granny annex.

I think she should stay with you personally. It’s only a moment in time in the whole scheme of things.

Not for this reason at all, but I’m guessing one day you will benefit from her estate?

She’s lovely, you say, and she’s family.
Suck it up if she chooses to stay with you. She may decide on an Airbnb herself if she picks up on your vibes. Don’t trash your relationship with her by being mean-spirited.

She could rent a park home/caravan? I'd recommend she did that before she stayed with you, as house purchase can be really protracted depending on the efficiency of the solicitors and of the vendors. Some are a LOT better than others with getting the process done promptly.

It's one thing offering her a bed for a week/fortnight, totally different ballgame for an unspecified period which could be anything up to a year, and it's fairer on all of you if you have agreements for firmly defined periods. You want to keep that good relationship and having her for months on end is going to risk that.

Of course it is expensive renting somewhere, but that's part of the process if you sell first. Hopefully MIL is looking very proactively and preparing to compromise to minimise the length of time she needs an alternative place to live.

Absolutely this. Don't request though, you or DH must tell her eg 3 weeks is fine, but then it's airbnb or similar.

Talking about this with my partner, she's reminded me about when she (and previous partner - back in the 90s) let her parents who were similarly between properties move into a cottage she was about to sell, having decided to move in with her then partner.

They stayed for 3 years, rent-free and didn't look at another property until their hand was forced when she left her then partner (who turned out to be an arsehole).

My point is - obviously - when there's no pressure to look for a new property, people feel no pressure to move...?

This!

-What does your DH say?
-Are there other siblings or relatives she could stay with?
-I'd be worried that months, could turn into years and could be forever!
-Starting off at yours and then moving to an AirBNB after X months is the complete, wrong way around IMO. I'd start her in a rental/air BNB and only once a new place is found, THEN she can stay for the final month or so at yours to save money
-A small, single Airbnb or caravan/park home might offer a preferential rate to have X months booked in. DH and I lived in a caravan for 2yrs whilst renovating and it is doable- even during winter! And our van wasn't centrally heated nor any mod cons such as double glazing.
-Why hasn't she found anything to buy? Does she need to widen her search area or criteria?
-What are HER plans when she is homeless?

I wonder if this has been thought through properly. What if there is unexpected inflation on house prices of the type and in the area she wants? It can happen very suddenly and there have been instances in the past due to a combination of external circumstances. Would she be able to afford the property she wants in the area she wants? This could lead to a very protracted stay with you.