To think XH has outdone himself

[BurnoutGP]

DD1 is 24 DD2 Is 18. The father is not a good man or father. DD1 is estranged through no fault of her own. Paternal grandfather died last year and DD2 was told all grandchildren were left 5K.
Few weeks ago a letter arrived for DD2 asking her to attend solicitor with proof of ID/address etc for inheritance. Nothing for DD1. She is currently travelling abroad so we assumed her father had said he didn't know where she was. She emailed the solicitors and got no response. Very upset thinking she had for some reason been left out the will (no reason she loved him and visiting him more than the other grandchildren including DD2). She requested a copy of the will online and it states 5k to all his grandchildren but not named by name.
I rung solicitors who confirmed that XH when asked for a list of his children did not identify her at all so they were unable to communicate with her until her identify was proved. I have since taken in her birth certificate.

They have been estranged for years since she was a teen. After years of letting her down and gaslighting she decided to leave it to him to make contact and he never did. This has affected her hugely. She is so upset about this.
I am sadly not surprised he is a spiteful abusive little man.
AUBU that this is pretty low even for him.

She was not estranged from her grandfather

Thank you. Would be interested what you think?
Solicitor insisted birth certificate needed to be taken in to their office in person? Luckily I am local but DD1 is abroad has been for some time and likely to be for some time more.
She is also stating DD1 needs to have her identity document confirmed abroad at an embassy (near impossible DD1 is in rural Asia) they say they have no means to do this electronically?
This seems especially onerous and not in line with what should be available?

It is the Grandfathers Will, that’s none of the Fathers business. Post says she visited the Grandfather so she wasn’t estranged from him. Father does indeed sound petty and vindictive, it’s best that your daughters both see him for what he is and understand it’s not them it’s him.

With a bit of luck, if the family runs true to form, the secret son will turn out to have multiple families too, all of them ignorant of each other's existence. There could be half a dozen extra grandchildren at £5k a pop.

Who on earth are the 3% voting that OP is unreasonable? Cut from the same cloth as XH obviously. What a vile man. OP and daughters are well off without him.

I would think financial regulations demand proper identification otherwise solicitors open to fraud happening in some cases ( not yours obviously)

Ask the solicitor if they can set up a TrustID account/link for your DD. Yes it's supposed to be used for right to work but it can verify the person is the same on their passport without having to see someone physical. Any costs linked to it should come from the estate.

Why is it that these people who don’t even read or comprehend the OP are always the first to comment?

Is it because they are so desperate to be the first comment they don’t even bother to read it before typing?

Why not involve the Police!? A crime has almost certainly been committed. If as appears, the girl's father is an executor, he has deliberately supplied false information in respect of the estate he is supposed to be managing in good faith. In addition, if he is a beneficiary himself, then the money his daughter would have missed out on would at least partly have gone to him, which is both fraud and theft! He could technically go to prison for this.

Agreed. I’d start with a complaint to solicitors and attempt to take him off as executor. The solicitors should evidence why they have chosen not to report him for attempted fraud or take any other action eg remove him as executor themselves.

This is not only reasonable but the correct approach. The solicitor need to be sure that your daughter is a rightful beneficiary and seek proof. It should give you confort that the solicitor is properly checking her identity, as he should with all beneficiaries.
Imagine somebody gets hold of a copy beneficiaries birth certificate and just emails it in, never meets the solicitor, simply say that they are someone they are not and the solicitor distributed some or part of the estate to them. You would be outraged at thier negligence

Your ExH is a terrible excuse of a father.

Irrelevant to the situation. The will is legit. She's entitled to it.

Thank you we have sorted that part. What about DD1 needing to go to an embassy? Can this part not be done electronically?

If an executor breaches their duties, they can be held personally liable to compensate the estate or beneficiaries.

I know when my son inherited from grandpa he had to wait until he was next in UK then his dad took him to the solicitors with all the paperwork.

What if they live permanently outside the UK? Thats just nonsensical

Why is it that people who are so quick to jump on a poster for being wrong don’t bother to read the many other posts that follow and assume they must be the first to correct them??

Haven’t RTFT but agree with this - and it’s sloppy will drafting. It is generically specified all Gc then that’s what it means. If it named the parties then that’s a different matter.

I’m guessing he did this because she had a close and loving relationship with her grandfather.

I’d try to see it as a blessing really. Every time I start to soften up and feel a bit sorry for my mum (we are NC), she does something really awful and I’m reminded why I made such a sensible decision to begin with.

In the U.K. ( and much of the rest of Europe) there are strict legal requirements imposed on banks, financial service institutions and solicitors as regulated persons to verify the identity of clients and other parties to whom they will be making money transfers. In many cases you can’t effectively verify the identity of a person you have not seen face to face or tie them to a legal document.

The solicitor is complying with the law.

Not always no. In person ID is often required.

As for identity documents, I am a dual national and have had to take my documents to the embassy to be verified. It’s an 8 hour round trip for me even in the UK and requires an overnight stay. It’s a pain, but get it done. I’ve lived in rural Asia and it’s not hard to get a bus or a train to a capital city. She just needs to make a trip of it.

But in this day and age there are numerous electronic methods to do this. Gov.uk use electronic platforms and apps for just this purpose. Are you really saying if someone lives outside the UK they have to return to claim their inheritance in person? It's 2026 not 1926

I had to deal with ID in my job, I had to verify that I had seen the original docs so couldn't accept a document that had been photocopied for example . I would imagine that the solicitor requires the documents to be verified as originals by a competent official.