To feel cross with my "Britain-bashing" friend

[branflake81]

I have a good friend from the Czech Republic. She has lived here for two years and does not intend to stay forever.

She is generally lovely and we get on really well. I don't have a huge social circle so value her frienship a lot. Except for one thing - she is always moaning about Britain.

According to her, everthing is rubbish. The food, the scenery, the housing etc etc. Now I don't consider myself to be a particulary patriotic person and recognise that this country has its faults but it is really starting to wind me up. I almost feel as though she has strode into my living room and started dissing my curtains, if that doesn't sound ridiculous.

I sometimes feel on the point of snapping at her to just "go home" if things are really that shit here which is AWFUL

I am surprised I feel like this since I don't generally feel allegiance to my country, perhaps it's just her negativity.

Should I say something or just keep biting my tongue?

Yes. Building significant friendships is crucial, ime, to feel more "at home" in a different country.
I miss my friends in the UK now!

My dh is Italian, I met him in London, he was finishing his phd. He then found a job in a small town, 3 hrs and a half from London. I'm pretty sure it'd have been much easier for me to move to London (we had lots of friends there then), London is great. And dh and me are def more cinema, exhibition, etc kind of persons than outdoorsy.

well, we were... then we had children...

even if you're not homesick, there are some differences that will just probably grate from now until the world ends.

and mixer taps is one of those

DH is English. It must have helped with integration & acceptance, although he still keeps telling me not to change. I guess in many ways I never will and some things will still seem odd.

DH is Scottish.

Sometimes, though, with other American friends, we bitch together in private.

shhhhhhh expat, DON"T mention mixer taps!

and no water tanks, either, franca . or places with no shower .

I've never heard dh moaning about the UK. I think his yrs as a student in London were his best yrs. And, later, he loved his job, colleagues etc. I'm the whinger . But then, I'm never satisfied of myself, so in my case it was more serious than just adjusting to a new country.

In relation to IBS comments "weather, poor quality of housing (particularly relative to price) and really bad public transport were big issues for us"

You then go on to mention London - is this where you lived in UK because it IS the capital - people in London EARN more than elsewhere and pay more for property as a result....the public transport in London is crap due to the sheer numbers trying to get from A to B. I dare say the issues would be the same in ANY capital city.

I dont think London is a measuring stick by which the rest of the UK should be judged - whilst the financial rewards may not be so high by living in other parts of UK the standard of living (including housing and public transport) can be improved by venturing elsewhere.

Not knocking London...its a great place to visit...but I wouldnt live there!

I can do NOTHING to defend the weather...it IS truly dismal whatever part of England you are in - but to put a positive spin on it we do have a very GREEN country as a result

Hmm - a bit like complaining about your other half/chidren; OK if you do it, but not really OK for others to complain about them.

I'm American and while I personally feel it's rude to complain about the UK, perhaps she is more integrated than you think! It's very British to slag off the NHS, the weather etc...

Ask her next time: 'so what is keeping you here at the moment?'

Message withdrawn

not 'taps' - they are 'faucets!'

Wily, I haven't just lived in London, but admittedly always in the SE where prices of property are affected by London I guess.

But then what I really do love about the UK is London. IME that's where you really get the amazing social and cultural experience.

"But then what I really do love about the UK is London. IME that's where you really get the amazing social and cultural experience."

I disagree with that. As much as i love London, there is no way i would associate it as being true Britain.

Why not, BtB?

I must say that London isn't a truly 'British' city. Not at all. It is truly cosmopolitan, and celebrated for it.

I notice this very much when I visit family in the countryside, it truly is another world.

London clearly isn't true Britain. Like the other poster said, it's cosmopolitan. I live in Dorset, one of many beautifal places in Britain.

Well, I don't associate Britain with just quaint, twee, pretty towns flooded by sun. I've lived here 15 years now so I go beyond the tourism office pictures. Such as small villages somewhere in Yorkshire where you go into a pub and everyone stops talking to look at the newcomers - not in a friendly way either. (Have I watched Deliverance too many times?)

Anyhow, I love London. It's felt home since I moved here 11 years ago.

I live in Dorset but i don't live in a quaint, twee, pretty town flooded by sun Do we really have towns flooded by sun in Britain? If so then please show me where

When i said London isn't really true Britain in my eyes i didn't mean because it wasn't a tiny, quaint town with horses and village a pub. I know alot of people who say they love London but would never live there. I also know lots of people who travel miles to work in London because they don't want to live there.

I absolutly agree it's a wonderful place, to visit, but it certainly doesn't reprisent Britain in it's true glory (and not just because it's not a country village.)

Living in Oz, I wouldn't dream of making unkind comparisons to people, unless I know they've lived in the UK and might know what I'm on about. Invariably they do and they agree.

What I simply don't get is complaining about the weather in the UK. Do some research, you arse, it RAINS in Britain.
On the other hand, I've yet to meet an Aussie who doesn't suggest it was the weather that brought us here. Yes, the weather's nice here, yes I would miss it, but no, it was not the reason we came. To earn less money. Live in a less nice house. But we still like it.

The other one is people pissing and moaning about crowded streets in London. Don't go there if that's what you don't like.

I also got pee'd off with Londoners who slag off tourists - they'd be FUKT without them. I used to try and remebr this when, at the entrance of every tube station, a tourist would unfurl their map and cogitate.

Ranting a bit.

One thing that baffles me though when people talk about Britain is it's either busy, hectic citys like London and Manchester or else it's tiny villages out in the sticks? Why do people talk like it's either one exstream or another? There are hundreds of towns, large and small that don't fit into the "busy city" or "country villlage" catagories.

I notice this alot with the 4x4 threads, when people refer to the countryside or the city. I mean i live in dorset and yet one poster assumed that ment i lived in a small, country village with a locals pub and horses (like Emmerdale!) There are places near the town i live in like that in the new forest, although most parts of the new forest are Hampshire rather than Dorset, but no one seems to refer to towns. It's either one exsteam or another. This genuinly baffles me!

So What is Britain then?

There's a lot of it about isn't there?

Some people do it as a way of coping with homesickness - I remember my aunt, who was originally from Ireland going on and on about how dreadful it was in England and how back home the people were so much nicer and the rain was never wet.

I get equally hacked off with people from the UK who slag it off - I am not a rip-roaring patriot by any means - but if you live somewhere I think you should take some responsibility for your own life/happiness/community and make a contribution.

"but if you live somewhere I think you should take some responsibility for your own life/happiness/community and make a contribution"

Yes mazzystar. I agree 100%.

However I know that a good whinge (in the right ear) can be a great stress buster. But it is a remedy that should be used in moderation.