To feel cross with my "Britain-bashing" friend

[branflake81]

I have a good friend from the Czech Republic. She has lived here for two years and does not intend to stay forever.

She is generally lovely and we get on really well. I don't have a huge social circle so value her frienship a lot. Except for one thing - she is always moaning about Britain.

According to her, everthing is rubbish. The food, the scenery, the housing etc etc. Now I don't consider myself to be a particulary patriotic person and recognise that this country has its faults but it is really starting to wind me up. I almost feel as though she has strode into my living room and started dissing my curtains, if that doesn't sound ridiculous.

I sometimes feel on the point of snapping at her to just "go home" if things are really that shit here which is AWFUL

I am surprised I feel like this since I don't generally feel allegiance to my country, perhaps it's just her negativity.

Should I say something or just keep biting my tongue?

I've lived abroad a lot and
a) I never complained to a native about their country and
b) most of the things that people think are rubbish in the UK are also rubbish in other parts of the world.

Here are some things that exist in the places I've lived (France, Belgium, Switzerland) that people complain about the UK for:

• crap weather. Northern European weather is basically all the same. Temperate, often wet, rarely stiffling.

• local admin, parking, taxes. These problems exist everywhere. No idea where you would move to if you wanted to avoid this sort of thing. The Sahara?

• poor service. Try getting a Swiss waiter to bring you a meal within an hour of arrival. Or ask for a bag to take your dry cleaning home in. Or get anyone to service your car at a convenient time. Alors ca, non, ce n'est pas possible (said with a finger wagging and a tut)

Cristina - if you had bad service at the post office then of course you are entitled to complain! It's the people who would say that of course there was a problem at the post office, because the british post office is awful, just like the rest of the country - those are the ones that I am complaining about.

I have spent a lot of time in a country in Asia, lots of things and customs really piss me off.....I never tell a native, it's just rude.

lol at margoandjerry.

Actually, in 8 yrs in the UK I've never complained about local admin, parking and taxes. Why would I have? It's heaven in the UK compared to Italy. You virtually pay no taxes, really. And I lived in a small town, day to day life was pretty easy and relaxed.

I did complain about the weather .

And I moaned because I felt lonely, and I felt I had little in common with most of the people. But that would have happened even if i had moved to a different, smaller italian town.

Cristina, you put it more eloquently than I did.

franca, no racism/zenophobia but if I were you I would go back home I love Italy!!!

but see, there's another cultural difference. I wouldn't find a foreigner moaning about Italy rude. It would be just a way to start a conversation.

MrsTittleMouse - I think I'm just playing devil's advocate on this one. I've lived here so long that it's irritating me as well now. Then I think back to how I was when I came over: much younger, much more outspoken, less tactfull etc.

Some of it may be down to cultural differences as well. My fellow ex-countrymen can be great whingers. Not at all unusual to volunteer info on say, your salary, ask about the other person's salary, then moan together about it.

we have fucked off home in december twelvelegs .

Italians are great whingers as well cristina.

"It would be just a way to start a conversation." I agree! I think if someone moaned about Romania I'd agree with them and moan together. It must be cultural differences. depends how it was done. If it was in an arrogant sort of way, that would be annoying. But the British are never arrogant & always tactful

Yes, it depends on how it is done .
(basically yes, I'm always happy to join in some moaning, regardless of the topic, really )

Hey, Franca, let's hope we won't have to moan about the football results tonight.

lol, did you see the match the other day? I don't think italy will pass the turn, France always wins.

Except in the World Cup final Franca?

Bucharest - how did you choose your username?

Forgot about that one. But that was penalties, wasn't it? Plus Italy usually loses when Berlusconi is the PM...

LOL Franca- and when they wear the white shirts.....hopefully they will win the chance to wear the blue ones tonight!
Cristina- totally random! People think I'm Romanian or a Brit in Romania, but it's just a cloak of mystery I have woven for myself!!

Thanks for satisfying my curiosity, Buch.

I don't think I could stomach Berlusconi's gleaming face if Italy wins. I'll support france tonight

Bran
I agree with Franca's first 2 posts (don't care about the football )

I used to complain all the time and it was just homesickness.

When she moans, maybe ask her about home, and i bet she will remember that all is not perfect there. Just be her friend

Sometimes it is very hard living in another counrty. Yes we CHOSE it (kinda) but sometimes you end up feeling like you don't belong in either place.

I'm sure she is not intending to hurt you.

you don't care about football (me too, actually!)

It is extremely boring when 'foreigners' complain about this country - not because we don't agree but it just gets boring and irritating after a while. Similarly if we were to complain about anything repeatedly - it would start to annoy the person who was on the end of it

It's very true that when you live away from your native country, things that would be crystal clear and easy to understand at home (or at least only averagely difficult to understand) become very complex and often frustrating.. which can lead to moaning of the 'what a ridiculous way they do things here' type.

I've lived in France, Spain, USA and Holland over the years, and always found it a struggle even though I spoke the language(s) and was willing to learn more.. I really had to try hard not to fall into the 'moaning expat' conversational style. It is a product of homesickness, insecurity and often loneliness too.

I had a Russian friend who was working in the UK and she loved to criticise everything - even the fact that we used bathmats(!) and didn't have mixer taps as standard on all washbasins and baths.. I just bit my lip and listened, cos I understood why she needed to - but I didn't invite her round as often as I could have done, I have to admit.