If you won 10k

[Moonface29]

Together 10 years, living together (unmarried but engaged), with 2 children.
One of you wins 10k - would you view it as joint money or not?
YABU - joint, and you would plan how to spend it together
YANBU - It’s the individual’s money, to spend how they please

I'd use it to get married!

It’s joint money and you should be getting married asap

It my house it would be joint.

If you’re a man it’s joint money. If you’re a woman it’s yours

If your finances are joint, it's obviously joint

If you have separate finances... not so much. Then it's going to depend on how it was won i.e. if just one person uses their own money to buy lotter tickets every now and then, it is theirs IMO

Joint. In our case we'd spend it on a lovely holiday

In that situation all money should be joint money.
If I was in that situation and my partner won 10k and wanted to keep it for themselves I would reviewing the entire situation.
Your either a team or your not.

It'd be joint here. I don't really know what I'd even spend 10k "on my own". Holiday - I'd want DH and DS to come. Mortgage overpayment is joint. We drive each other's cars.

In my house all money is joint money BUT broadly speaking I think it depends how its been “won”. If it’s for example a lottery win and one person has been putting the lottery on for the last 5 years and paying for it every week out of their own “fun money” then I can see their argument that it is their winnings to spend how they want to because it’s them who have been paying for the tickets.

It's the individual's to spend how they want and, pretty obviously, they should want to spend it on their partner and family.

Depends on how you won it and whether the rest of your finances are joint. If you have seperate finances and you won it because your marrow was best in show, then it's yours. If you took a few quid from the family pot and got lucky on the scratchcards, it's shared.

If I won it, I'd keep it, but probably treat my family to something each. I expect my husband would do the same.

Joint, but maybe I'd want more of a say in what it's spent on? I wouldn't spend it on myself alone for sure and I'd happily put it in joint savings. But I wouldn't be happy if DP insisted on spending it on a motorcycle, for example.

In my house it would be ours.

As far as I'm concerned, if you joined as a couple enough to bring children into the world and become a family, then all financial decisions should be family decisions. Personally I would have gone down to the register office as soon as the pregnancy test turned positive. I really don't understand bringing children into the world without a stable family set up. And unless you have some other legal thing set up to replicate the protection that marriage brings, I don't view it as stable. You're just all living in the same house.

Get married. He should be putting the money towards a nice little wedding day.

This!

Its their/your money but any decent partner would spend it on their partner and kids.

I’d book a holiday for the whole family and give everyone a couple hundred to splurge on what they wanted.

let me guess, the one holding off on the marriage is the one who’s won £10k

IMO it should be joint but you don’t get the benefits of marriage without the legal ceremony where you sign the contract so it’s solely the person who won it.

I won £20k when I’d been with my partner at the time for 14 years, we weren’t married and had two kids. I basically split it. We bought a car each and the rest went on joint things, stuff for the kids.

Correct.
Except he says it would still be his, even if we were married.
I know I am going to get a lot of comments about not being married. At the time I had no reason to think that we wouldn’t. If I knew then what I know now…

When you build a life together things should be joint (or at least discussed together).

DP and I have a joint account for household expenses but then separate finances thereafter. I’m pretty confident that if either is us had a bonus £10k it would be spent on holiday/s together or on our home. Neither of us would see it as just ours to do as we please but we also wouldn’t be splitting it exactly down the middle and gifting the other £5k!

Joint to pay for things as a family e.g. nice holiday or doing the house up (new furniture for example).

What exactly does he want to spend it on that's so important he can't share it with his family?

Depends on the household

I'd personally keep it, for reasons I will not go into here