My neighbour keeps bringing us food - too much?

[FlyingPi]

We moved into our house a year ago and found that the neighbours were an elderly Asian couple who didn't seem to speak much English. Waved, said hello, that was about it. After six months, their daughter came back as she'd been in Pakistan for a long visit. Well, she came over to introduce herself, very chatty young woman in her 20s, told me unprompted all about her divorce and weight loss surgery. Good to be on civil terms with neighbours, obviously, so that was nice.
Anyway, since then she keeps bringing us food over. Mostly things like bhajis, spring rolls, sometimes cakes or sugar cookies, traditional Asian food I guess (we are not Asian). She says she just always cooks too much (especially since having her stomach stapled!) and enjoys it. But at this point it's now almost every week and I'm feeling kind of odd about it! She just turns up at the door with plates of food and immediately launches into telling us what it is.
The food is nice, not fancy or anything. I don't eat it as usually meat-based but my kid is very happy to scoff free food. We always take the plates back and thank her, but say "oh, you really don't need to" but she kind of waves that away.
She doesn't seem to want anything from us, she's half my age so I don't think she wants to be friends with me particularly (eg never asks me anything about myself).
I absolutely do not want to offend this lady, I think it's partly her personality and partly a cultural thing that is causing her to do this kind thing. The family who we bought the house from were also Asian and had lived here for decades, so I don't know if she was just in the habit of sharing with them.
But AIBU to think that once a week is a bit much? We can make our own meals and it's feeling like a bit of an imposition, like I need to repay her. And I'm sure there are people who might need it more?
Once we were making a dessert so we took them some, but generally I'm not a big baker or anything so I don't really want to start. And it would feel weird to, like, take them half of our dinner, plus I'm not sure if they'd like that food? I was thinking of giving them a card or gift for Eid, but since I don't actually know the family, have no idea what they'd like. I'm guessing they have enough food!
Or is this fairly normal in some communities and I should just continue to accept gratefully and be glad we have pleasant neighbours?

Not me! I'm happy with Gary next door who brings the bins in and Kev on the other side who clears our gutters when he does his.

They're good enough neighbours enough for me 😊

Much like with any gift giving, I don't think giving gifts that are not wanted is actually a kindness.

It pains me to waste food but I'm coeliac so anything gifted is straight in the bin.

They sound like gorgeous neighbours ❤️
Id honestly just take it , especially if you child is enjoying it .

My neighbour sends food round regularly.
she always seems to know when I really can’t be bothered to cook.
During ramadan I can guarantee it’s at least twice a week.
I love her for it and she doesn’t expect anything back

YABU. Be grateful and buy them a lovely non food related gift for Eid.

We lived in Bradford for a year while saving to buy a house outright. Our next door neighbours were an Asian family and they used to do this, but not to this extent. I loved it! They were absolutely lovely and very generous. I said several times that we were thankful but it really wasn't necessary. They just said that they always cooked a lot and were happy to share! I think its a lovely gesture. I bought them some flowers and an assortment of Asian sweets when we moved. They were genuinely sad to see us go.

We had neighbours like this however not as frequently and they cooked Caribbean food (my favourite). I was so excited when they turned up and they became good friends of ours still to this day (we moved away)

lovely problem to have but I can understand it feels abit much if it’s weekly

Our neighbours are Filipino, we always know when we see the Gazebo going up in the garden and hear the Karaoke machine being tested that a large plate of food will soon appear.

Best neighbours I’ve ever had.

I think we all have neighbour envy now ! 😂

Our Pakistan neighbours used to do this when I was little. It gave me a life long love of Aisan food.

My sons were friends with a child at school who was of Pakistani descent and his mum used to bring food as a gift to me at school. Lovely gesture. It's something they do and they love to give and feed. Enjoy it, it's so lovely for them to include you.

All my neighbours are south east asian and i am inundated with food especially during Ramadan. It is given as a lovely gesture and is a cultural behaviour based on giving and sharing amd means your neighbours view you with respect and an extension of their family. Ive lived here forever but when my DP moved in he was confused and just didnt get it ( he does now and looks forward to it during Ramadan).
I always say thanks and send treats at xmas and Eid etc, we just sort of do it xxx

‘This would get on my nerves. I would also feel beholden and absolutely wouldn’t want to get into reciprocating with food or flowers or anything in any way. I’d probably stop answering the door a little less tbh, you’re not there to make her feel great.

I'd give her some jars of local honey or jam occasionally. That's what I did with the takeaway owner that liked to give us free extras. But id be encouraging my neighbours to bring me food not trying to discourage it!

East Asian neighbours 2 doors down have brought us desserts and noodle dishes .
The noodle dish was delicious.
I haven’t reciprocated but have had them round for tea and we give them gardening advice because they’re used to apartment living so are beginners re gardening

My daughter‘s neighbours are Romanian. They do this all the time. Beautiful cakes and pastries. In return my daughter is helping there oldest daughter with her reading. She’s struggling a bit and my daughter is a teacher. How fortunate to have great neighbours.

I would be grateful for the food and show this by buying flowers or a plant now and again.

We had Hungarian neighbours who used to do goulash in a cauldron in the garden from time to time and they always sent some round. I'm not a huge baker but used to send English type deserts round, like bread and butter pudding or brownies when dd was baking things. Miss that street and neighbours.

It is a normal thing and nice. I think in white british culture people tend to think OMG i must give them somethjng back but it isn't like that.

They sound like lovely neighbours to have. We have a lady from Thailand next door and she has brought food round for us randomly, I think it's lovely xxx

Listen, I’ve not read the replies here but I’m certain a lot of them will be saying “embrace it!” And “they sound wonderful”, etc etc, the problem you have is they have crossed the line. They have crossed the boundary that you feel uncomfortable with. On top of that that have also failed to consider that you might be feeling that way. It’s very easy to think “aww they’re being nice and I don’t want to offend them”, but you know deep down you are uncomfortable and it’s too much for you. It would be for me too, it’s not that you’re unfriendly or you’re awkward, it’s that you wouldn’t put upon another person in that way. This type of person is not lovely and kind, they are nosey and seeing to themselves, they’re doing what they want to do, not what you want them to do.
I know all this because we’ve had 5 years next to an elderly couple who were totally intrusive and made us feel very uncomfortable when we first moved in, buying my son presents, calling out to us whenever they heard us in the garden, running out their front door if they heard us out the front, asking millions of questions, knocking our door every other day. It was way too much.

We started by giving ourselves a ‘busy edge’, not stopping to talk, answering the door and saying ooo I won’t keep you, got to do something etc. It took them aaaaaages and I mean years to clock onto the fact that we didn’t want the type of relationship they wanted. So it got to the point we had to complain, and then they finally backed off, but even now we feel we have to manage them so to speak. If we’re even slightly friendly or chat briefly one day they are onto us again and we have to pull back again. It feels like dealing with needy children tbh! And no they are not lonely they have family and friends nearby.

So anyway, apologies for the long reply but I felt it necessary to help you out to save you years of pain. You need to tell them it’s too much, just say something like “ahh sorry but we need to ask you to stop with the food, we are on a diet and we are cutting out anything with oil in it” (their food will have lots of that in it!).
if they continue to bring the food you need to tell them to direct it somewhere else, you asked them to stop, why aren’t they stopping.
Make small talk with them still, just not quite as much, and try and wean them off of you.
Good luck and step up to sort this out!

its a cultural thing! I am Asian and had Portuguese neighbors for about a decade until we moved! We always shared! Maybe not weekly. Example we would go skiing on Boxing Day every year but before I go I will send her a text and say you want to come raid the fridge! And she would come along and take veggies eta or anything that wouldn’t keep whilst we were away!

Funny because on the homemade consumable Christmas present threads it’s usually a lot people saying they don’t want to be given stuff others have cooked.

I made my Asian neighbours a traditional afternoon cream tea hamper thing. Scones, jam, strawberries, clotted cream, tea bags, shortbread etc. They regularly cook for us. I'm not a baker so I just think of them anytime we have a celebration and drop off extra cake etc. Sometimes I get them a little plant or treats for their cat. I hate feeling indebted to anyone too. So long as you're not throwing the food away don't worry about accepting it x

My work takes me into many different homes. The South Asian ones are all desperate to feed me - even if I am only there for a couple of minutes. It's definitely cultural.