My neighbour keeps bringing us food - too much?

[FlyingPi]

We moved into our house a year ago and found that the neighbours were an elderly Asian couple who didn't seem to speak much English. Waved, said hello, that was about it. After six months, their daughter came back as she'd been in Pakistan for a long visit. Well, she came over to introduce herself, very chatty young woman in her 20s, told me unprompted all about her divorce and weight loss surgery. Good to be on civil terms with neighbours, obviously, so that was nice.
Anyway, since then she keeps bringing us food over. Mostly things like bhajis, spring rolls, sometimes cakes or sugar cookies, traditional Asian food I guess (we are not Asian). She says she just always cooks too much (especially since having her stomach stapled!) and enjoys it. But at this point it's now almost every week and I'm feeling kind of odd about it! She just turns up at the door with plates of food and immediately launches into telling us what it is.
The food is nice, not fancy or anything. I don't eat it as usually meat-based but my kid is very happy to scoff free food. We always take the plates back and thank her, but say "oh, you really don't need to" but she kind of waves that away.
She doesn't seem to want anything from us, she's half my age so I don't think she wants to be friends with me particularly (eg never asks me anything about myself).
I absolutely do not want to offend this lady, I think it's partly her personality and partly a cultural thing that is causing her to do this kind thing. The family who we bought the house from were also Asian and had lived here for decades, so I don't know if she was just in the habit of sharing with them.
But AIBU to think that once a week is a bit much? We can make our own meals and it's feeling like a bit of an imposition, like I need to repay her. And I'm sure there are people who might need it more?
Once we were making a dessert so we took them some, but generally I'm not a big baker or anything so I don't really want to start. And it would feel weird to, like, take them half of our dinner, plus I'm not sure if they'd like that food? I was thinking of giving them a card or gift for Eid, but since I don't actually know the family, have no idea what they'd like. I'm guessing they have enough food!
Or is this fairly normal in some communities and I should just continue to accept gratefully and be glad we have pleasant neighbours?

I do understand because we usually have a feeling that gift giving should be reciprocal. How about some flowers and chocolate at Easter? Celebrating spring doesn’t have to be tied to religion

A nice bouquet of flowers from time to time and a thank you every time is what’s needed

@FlyingPi personally id be very grateful and eat it etc + offer a gift when suitable as and when

Oh this is lovely, reminds me of when our Turkish ‘allotment neighbours’ back in London used to share chicken and baklava.

Sounds like you live next to my old boss!

I’d do anything for his wife’s cooking now. It was so so SO good.

Homemade samosas…. Hmmmmm

Yes I get it is meant to be nice but if something becomes too much people have the right to say enough is enough, yes put nicely, but although they have good intentions it is only nice is works for everyone

there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no thank you

I'm not getting whether you like it but feel guilty, or whether actually you'd rather she didn't. If it's the latter, it's fine to say it's too much. I'm sure she'd understand, having been through weight loss surgery etc. By returning plates and saying thank you, you're giving her the impression that it's welcome so she won't know unless you tell her. Personally, I would find weekly too much and I wouldn't like the asymmetry in giving.

If it's just that you feel guilty, don't! She's doing it because she wants to.

Ooh, we had Indian neighbours when I was a kid who used to do this and it was AMAZING. They truly just enjoyed cooking and sharing their delicious food, nothing more than that, never expected or wanted any reimbursement. You are very lucky!

I’m English and do this! We have a lovely little lane of fantastic people. One of the neighbours brings me round veg that he grows, I make soup, or homemade hummus, or cakes, and share those with several of the neighbours. It’s just a nice thing to do!

It's the Asian way. Happy days.

Wha a lovely neighbour to have!! I can understand why you’d feel it’s imposition but try and let go of it. I have had Asian neighbours like that and lived extensively in SE Asia and it’s a friendly thing to do.

A card and maybe some flowers for Eid or biscuits that you enjoy sound like a lovey idea - I‘m sure they’ll enjoy you reaching out like that.

We once had some Polish neighbours who used to regularly bring us food if they had made some and had too much. It wasn’t every week which I think I would find a bit much. I guess it’s a cultural thing but I’d be constantly thinking I need to reciprocate.

Believe me, she absolutely does not want repaying. Yes it is a cultural thing. People from Pakistan just love cooking for you and making you cups of tea. She won't want anything in return.

I used to teach in a special school in a very multicultural town. Some of our parents used to send food for my team regularly. Plastic containers full of Asian goodness! And if I was doing a home visit I couldn't leave without accepting food! They wanted nothing in return. It's just the Muslim way.

Now I'm retired, I rather miss all the goodies that they'd send in the day after Eid!

My aunt is 96 and living independently. I don't have to worry about her, because she has Pakistani neighbours! They cook for her three days a week, just because. I suspect they'd feed her every day, but she wouldn't let them.

Oh I would absolutely hate this. I am the stereotypical Mumsnetter who doesn't answer their front door though!

I’m Irish and was always taught to be a good neighbour
i cook for my neighbour on one side every week
and receive weekly goodies from my Asian neighbours the other side
we are all happy with this arrangement
my neighbour gives the kids pocket money and they are all used to taking his daily meal over every night
hopefully they will become good neighbours themselves one day

I don't particularly want the food, no. It gets eaten because it's here, but we don't need it at all. I mean I get people are saying how they'd love it but it doesn't save me any effort cooking since it comes at random times, and it's not amazing food - it's perfectly nice, but no nicer than what we'd have anyway. But I would hate to hurt her feelings or offend. As I don't know her at all really, it would be hard to judge how to phrase a refusal.
I could say we're all on diets I guess!

My child used to have a sen taxi for school, a chap and his escort wife who used to drop off goat or chicken curries on a regular basis for us. Fab days lol.

It's not even food she can eat - OP doesn't eat meat. Regardless, most people want to decide what food they eat themselves not have it forced upon them.

I think you are, in part, her excuse to cook. Something she loves. If she felt slighted by your failure to reciprocate, she'd have tailed off, not ramped up. She probably feels great about being able to cook things she loves but can't really eat and being neighbourly and passing on sunshine by giving you delicious food. You play an important role in her life, making it brighter, just by accepting the food and telling her how wonderful it was.

Why's it OP's responsibility to make her neighbour feel better though? Anyway the neighbour has elderly parents so she can cook for them, or give to a homeless charity.

Oh, if you don’t want it then tell her that. It’s great if you enjoy the food etc but it’s very irritating if you don’t actually want it.

Tell her that you can’t eat it and the food is being wasted so could she please stop but say you really appreciate that she thought of you and you’re not trying to cause offence but the food is being wasted.

It isn't. No one has said it is. Do you often have trouble with comprehension?

You have lovely neighbours. Just ask them to make the portions smaller / non veg if you feel you can. Our new neighbors do DIY at 11pm and park their commercial van outside on the road so I cannot see clearly when I try to drive out of my driveway! Also, don’t tell FARAGE that your Muslim / brown neighbors are really nice normal law abiding people who want to intergrate and be neighboulrly - he just won’t get it