My neighbour keeps bringing us food - too much?

[FlyingPi]

We moved into our house a year ago and found that the neighbours were an elderly Asian couple who didn't seem to speak much English. Waved, said hello, that was about it. After six months, their daughter came back as she'd been in Pakistan for a long visit. Well, she came over to introduce herself, very chatty young woman in her 20s, told me unprompted all about her divorce and weight loss surgery. Good to be on civil terms with neighbours, obviously, so that was nice.
Anyway, since then she keeps bringing us food over. Mostly things like bhajis, spring rolls, sometimes cakes or sugar cookies, traditional Asian food I guess (we are not Asian). She says she just always cooks too much (especially since having her stomach stapled!) and enjoys it. But at this point it's now almost every week and I'm feeling kind of odd about it! She just turns up at the door with plates of food and immediately launches into telling us what it is.
The food is nice, not fancy or anything. I don't eat it as usually meat-based but my kid is very happy to scoff free food. We always take the plates back and thank her, but say "oh, you really don't need to" but she kind of waves that away.
She doesn't seem to want anything from us, she's half my age so I don't think she wants to be friends with me particularly (eg never asks me anything about myself).
I absolutely do not want to offend this lady, I think it's partly her personality and partly a cultural thing that is causing her to do this kind thing. The family who we bought the house from were also Asian and had lived here for decades, so I don't know if she was just in the habit of sharing with them.
But AIBU to think that once a week is a bit much? We can make our own meals and it's feeling like a bit of an imposition, like I need to repay her. And I'm sure there are people who might need it more?
Once we were making a dessert so we took them some, but generally I'm not a big baker or anything so I don't really want to start. And it would feel weird to, like, take them half of our dinner, plus I'm not sure if they'd like that food? I was thinking of giving them a card or gift for Eid, but since I don't actually know the family, have no idea what they'd like. I'm guessing they have enough food!
Or is this fairly normal in some communities and I should just continue to accept gratefully and be glad we have pleasant neighbours?

I’ll take them OP!

We once briefly lived next door to an Indian family who always brought food over. We are Jewish and are equally as obsessed with feeding people. It became a bit of a (almost competitive) feedathon because we both kept thinking “have to return the favour” 😂

I really miss it actually, my advice OP is to enjoy it and maybe chuck the odd meal their way if you’re able to

BTW this period in my life was also my heaviest but my god the food, the gorgeous home cooked food, was totally worth it.

Giving food is something I do as well.

If I have excess, I pass it on

I do know my neighbours well enough to know who's not going to be offended or threatened and will accept it with the grace that is is given

But then my neighbours always share their bounty as well, We call it being neighbourly and looking out for each other

That is really quite normal. I would love it!

It's a teaching in the Quran, to feed and look after your close neighbour, and taken quite literally by many. I had the pleasure of this in my last house for a few years, and my neighbour would knock with food at least once a week. Once she insisted I came in to her house for a cup of tea, I expected to drink the tea with her and chat, but she insisted I sat alone at her dining table while she went off and cooked me a neverending stream of small plates of food and absolutely insisting I don't go, and keep eating, I can't remember how I managed to leave in the end, just that it was way past my comfort zone. I do remember in the middle of my feeding she served fish fingers and chips for one of her children and I realised I wasn't getting samples of the family dinner but my own personal banquet. I used to get them tins of chocolate like Celebrations for Eid and for Christmas, and we did things like ask if they wanted anything taking to the tip when we were going and they would ask for favours from us readily like lifts places, so I quickly got comfortable with the plates of food at the door, but I made sure not to accept an offer of a cuppa again. Enjoy, I really miss them!

My mum does this for her next door neighbour. He lives on his own and his children have all grown up and moved away. He gets dinner cooked by mum on Eid, Christmas, Birthdays, during ramadan, random Sundays etc. She doesn't expect him to reciprocate but she enjoys cooking and having people enjoy her food. He takes their bins in, parcels if they aren't in, checks on on my dad , trims the hedge between their houses etc.

I don't do it for any of my neighbours. It's just not a habit I wanted to get into and I don’t cook the kind of quantities my mum does. If I've made samosas I give them to my neighbour to freeze as her son likes them.

They are unlikely to expect you to reciprocate.

I have a Moroccan family next door to me who do this, started with some food on EID and has been pretty regular since. I think it’s lovely and the food is fab but do feel guilty as I’m not a good enough cook to reciprocate and don’t want them to feel I am making a fuss/creating an obligation by getting them a present. My partner did offer them West Ham tickets once…….

I had a Filipino pupil whose mum would bring me home cooked 'packed lunches' with touching regularity; I loved her, and by extension, her son. When he aged out of our setting, she brought in a feast of innumerable dishes, sauces and condiments for the entire staff.

Blimey, what a problem to have.
Wish my neighbours would keep turning up bearing bhajis and spring rolls! 😁

I’d find it so hard to say no, but I’d probably try to mention that you’re vegetarian. Can you freeze it and pass onto friends or colleagues? My husband often comes home with bhajis and samosas from a fella he works with, whose mum sends him in with it all boxed up!

It’s a culture thing! Very similar to Italians who believe you must feed a guest. Hence why you need to take food to an Italians house.

my friend is Aisian and she’s always cooking me food!

I'm loving this thread especially everyone's stories of sharing food. It's such an important connection for us as human beings and even more important in a world that is becoming scary and hostile.
My neighbour loves to bake and we are willing recipients of her efforts. She calls herself my kids' fairy godmother as she doesn't have any of her own then gives them spending money with strict instructions to spend it on sweets and not anything sensible 🤣 I've sent over biryani on Eid which she loved. It heartwarming and i love it.

@FlyingPi , I understand you.

I grew up with this. My mum was an excellent cook and baker - constantly supplying the neighborhood, friends and family with food. Also had friends, family and neighbours do same occasionally.

Now, I do the same - occasionally.

But I couldn't have a neighbour do this every week. It would quickly start to stress me out. I had a colleague at work who did this. The first time, i was pleasantly surprised and appreciated it. By the 4th week, I just had to say it was too much for me.

I guess for some people it would be nice and they like such. For me, it doesn't feel nice (even though it's a lovely gesture).

You sound really nice OP, especially in current climate. I’m not Muslim but grew up in a very majority Muslim country (English is not my first language sorry). I’d say if you want to reciprocate for Eid get them actually useful things, so vouchers like Amazon can be good for that, people can choose what they spend it on and you can’t see on your side.

Wish I had a neighbour like her!

Don’t we all ☺️

Trust me it's cultural and nothing is expected back, it's purely kindness and we English could learn a lot from it. We also live next door to a lovely Asian family and our kids love the food they bring around and for the last 3 years my hubby cuts there grass the same time he does ours as a thankyou. We were considering moving to a bigger house and simply based on our lovely neighbours we are still here 6 years on

My oh is Filipino and it’s really quite common! When I first met him I thought him and his colleagues were feeders 😂 he explained he came from a district where they were poor and went to school without food so to have food is a luxury they want to share. Even if I’ve already eaten his colleagues will say ‘let’s eat’ and it’s an act of service. I absoloutely love Asian food now 😍 I now realise they really value having someone to share food with which is quite lost in our culture. Food is very much a social thing and they don’t expect payment or it repaying, they are just happy to feed you

My neighbours are Korean and Greek and we get lots of nice food! The Korean neighbours its mainly when they've had an event or the mum in law comes to stay. The Greek family have a food business so it's almost every second day.

I think it's a Pakistani thing, I had neighbours like this growing up. They owned a restaurant and would gift us food every week, my mother once mentioned that the mangos they has given were lovely and she'd never had them before, later that week they gifted her a whole box of them 😄

They were really nice people

My DP is Iranian and we used to live in flats where he loved taking food round to the neighbours, he was proud of my cooking and it was also a bit of a karma thing where he thought doing nice things and looking after people creates good energy and harmony for everyone.

I used to get a bit cross when we’d paid a fortune for a takeaway and I liked having leftovers but knew it made him happy (and the neighbours!) so just ordered extra.

We moved from a city to a small town and our neighbours now made it very clear they were confused and suspicious. We took some food to them from my mums wake and one neighbour said they didn’t want our charity and slammed the door which really hurt him.

He now takes in food to work to share with his colleagues and I occasionally get requests 😂. I’m happy to do it and like that my cooking is so appreciated.
DP does enjoy cooking and we cook together a lot but I l do the majority as I’m a better cook.

I’d hate this.

I love this thread. It’s making me really nostalgic for my childhood, remembering my Italian grandad arriving at our house (we lived on the same street growing up) with his striped shopping bag containing an actual saucepan filled with pasta fasul.

This happened to us when an Asian family moved nxt door. We were embarrassed because we never felt we could reciprocate. Every now and then we would buy a tin of sweets for the children, as there was no way my burnt offerings would have been palatable!!! Perhaps you could buy them a plant? Bake something?

If it was daily I’d understand but it’s once a week. It is more common in Asian communities to, well, act like an actual community and help one another out. My Grandma lives next door to a Bangladeshi family and they are the same. They taught her how to cook saag aloo and chana masala which she now makes every week. In return, my Grandma takes challah around on a Friday. I think it’s genuinely lovely.