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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Yet another absent father blaming 'the system'

127 replies

ScarlettSarah · 04/03/2026 17:01

I'm tired of hearing it. That poor child. It's heartbreaking.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9v079zpmvmo

Yes, the dad was working away, but he knew perfectly well things weren't right with his estranged ex-partner, and I struggle to believe he couldn't have done more in this situation. As if a woman would be working away in those circumstances.

AIBU to be sick of hearing this sort of stuff from men, who are held to such low standards in parenthood? The other classic examples I can think of is when a child dies in the custody of its mother (and sometimes a stepdad) and the biodad is looking sad all over the news while when you dig deeper, you realise most of the time he wasn't doing what he should have done as a dad.

A man wearing a black North face jacket stands next to a teenager with grey trousers looking out to sea on a grey day.

My son lived in squalor with his dying mother - the system failed him

Leo came to Scotland for a better life but ended up living in squalor in a house surrounded by empty bottles and takeaway containers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9v079zpmvmo

OP posts:
goz · 05/03/2026 19:35

Anonanonanonagain · 05/03/2026 13:50

Ah look there are shit mothers and shit fathers out there but blaming everything on social services is unfair. They cannot be held accountable for something they are not aware of.

You don’t think they should be responsible for not being aware a child was unsafe despite multiple reports?

ZoeCM · 05/03/2026 20:12

whoTFismadelaine · 04/03/2026 18:00

When I read this I read abusive ex that she was trying to get away from who kept ringing social services and his son's school to harass her through authority figures until she started drinking again.

What the fuck? One minute, the dad didn't do enough to help his son; the next, he did too much and drove the mother to drink!

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