Friend keeps asking me for a job - getting exhausting!

[fireandice26]

Hi,

I have a friend who wants to work at the company I work at. It's a VERY large company that we all know of. Her area of expertise isn't my field (so she would be in a completely different department).

She asked me every few weeks for a job - as if it is something I can magic up. It's not. It's REALLY not. Then upped it to nearly every time we spoke. Granted; it wasn't EVERY time we spoke - but that said; she would moan about her job and how much she needed a change and how she 'needed someone to help her...' so we would directly or indirectly get onto this topic.

She applied directly via the site and got rejected for three roles. No interview/chat. Just a direct 'no'. She now is looking for a job at another arm (but same parent company) and asked me to refer her. I simply cannot do this - (I'd have even less (than zero) 'pull' at the other arm of the company!!)

Before anyone points out the obvious; yes I have told her MULTIPLE times that getting a job isn't as simple as she thinks it is. She seems to think I can just pass on her CV to my bosses and she'd be moved to the top of the queue... and BAM... the role is hers!

I also told her to please stop asking me as it's making me really uncomfortable and damaging our friendship.

Last week, she brought it up again and upped the ante big time since she's now been let go from her current job. Whilst I get the urgency given the change in her circumstances; AIBU to just distance myself/ghost at this point?

I work for a local authority (not in management), and regularly get this. If I was able to just slot people into roles, believe me, my kids and my sister would be laughing 😂

She sounds like a pushy pain in the neck. Id avoid her for a while. Doesnt sound as if she takes no for an a swer.

Wow, no words to this.

You're not her keeper OP. You've tried and tried, she needs to start looking elsewhere.

From bitter experience, I’d only recommend about 2 ex colleagues for jobs now. Never a friend unless I’d worked with them recently and knew they were good, I’d probably not recommend family either. I’d give tips and help in other ways but never recommend someone.
Even if they are good at job it doesn’t always work out well.

Pest and entitled come mind.

I expect she thinks she's "networking"...! It's not what you know, it's who you know...etc!

Is she Sarah Ferguson? 🤑

Seriously, even knowing nothing about your company besides what you've said here, I don't see what more any rational person would think you could do. You might have delivered her CV personally to HR and say you know her personally (which won't carry much weight if you haven't worked with her recently and she's not in your area), but that's been pre-empted by her sending it in herself. You COULD possibly put in a personal word if she ever applies for something where you know the hiring manager well, but that seems unlikely.

Has she suggested what specifically she'd like you to do?

@fireandice26 if she brings it up again, then just be super blunt with her.

"Look, the company ONLY accept applications via their website, and they get really annoyed and would block applications from anyone trying to send their CV another way as it undermines their system, so if you really want a job here, you'll have to keep applying via the website".

I wouldn't ghost. Being ghosted is awful. Just tell her you can't help and not to talk about it again

She messaged me back and said ... that she only wanted people in her life that would 'support her'

Ah yes, the psychobabble version of "I want everyone to agree with / enable me, and if they don't it's not faaaiiirrr"

As so many have said she's no loss, @fireandice26

Do you hear yourself??
Christ almighty you’re WHINING!!
If it’s this difficult being me, it must be impossible being you.
You need to STOP right now.

There you go, four sentences you practice and then either say to her verbally or write to her in a text.
What? You don’t want to hurt her feelings?
Like she’s given a shit - even once - about yours??

It’s time for you to get tough. I know you can do it. Because YOU’RE WONDER WOMAN!!

Sending you love and support from faraway ❤️

She's a cheeky fucker, isn't she?

In my workplace we do to some extent pay attention to referrals, and I have pointed interested people in the right direction, let them know if there's a suitable position and whom they could contact. But from there on, it's own their own merits. Equally I have declined to refer someone who isn't qualified or in other ways unsuitable.

She sounds dense and entitled, no loss to you. Has probably read some dopey meme about getting a hundred noes before a yes. 🙄

Sorry not RTFT so if this has already been said apologies

I would say you’ve been told that due to the need to be able to prove the hiring process is fair and transparent hiring managers aren’t allowed to consider CVs that don’t come through official channels, they wouldn’t even look at it.

Gizz a job. Gizz it. G'wan gizz it. 😀

Yes I had

She obviously has not understanding of the real world if she thinks this is how people get jobs. She should sign up with a recruitment agent that does CV/interview coaching - that's the only way she gets what she's after. I would make this recommendation. After this say you're not willing to talk about her job situation any more as you feel like the conversation doesn't have anymore mileage and it's putting a lot of pressure on you when it's completely out of your control. She obviously doesn't understand where she ends and you begin, she needs to put on her big girl pants and apply some grit and determination. I know someone like this and I've got no time for it.

It's difficult for everyone ATM tbh. However as you say you are not a free pass to get her a job! I would say that you like her and get on well .However, your company arent recruiting and when /if they are she will have to apply like everyone else .If she cant or wont get the message I would cool the friendship right down .

How frustrating

some big companies do have referral schemes. I guess yours doesn’t? How about you just email her cv to
some in HR/recruitment and ask if they have a candidate referral scheme?

then you can say you have tried

Personally I think you have dodged a bullet. Imagine having to work with someone this rude, too lazy to put the work in and doesn't listen. The company wouldn't thank you.
I have friends where getting friends jobs have really backfired, never mix business and friends.
Block her before she has a chance to 'forgive' you so you can try harder to get her a job.

just on AI

DH applied for a role recently. He was asked 3 questions (written application). He used AI to answer 1 question

He received feedback. Written by AI. He scored higher on the AI Q than the others

robots talking to robots

What kind of large corporate you do work for that doesn’t have a referral scheme?
any particular reason you don’t want to help? I too work for a global corp one I am sure we all use multiple times a day for everything!!! :) and we have a referral scheme. When people ask me about work, I divert them to jobs posted and if there is one they like, uber easy for me to find the hiring leader and forward the cv on. In my experience recruiters in house usually prefer the word of mouth (provided the qualifications/expertise is there). We also a refferal bonus for this! Not ashamed to say I have benefited just over £2500 per person for every successful candidate I introduced. (And I brought in a few) I am not in HR and I don’t work directly with any of my friends but it’s nice to bump into them in the building!!!

I used to work for a very famous Company. This used to happen a great deal unfortunately especially when I was given recruitment training to assist with processing applications and interviews.

People don't seem to realise that being able to assist with interviews in one tiny specific area of a ginormous global Company which is actually a group of Companies doesn't suddenly make you important enough for the HR Department to even know who you are.

I used to get people to email me their CV and forward it to the generic email address. They'd then get the usual reply about having an interest in the Company...

This. I have worked for huge international corporations and all had a referral bonus and appreciated internal recommendations. I think the OP is being deliberately unhelpful

I have in the past worked for two huge household name corporations, and they had nothing even remotely resembling a referral scheme.

Besides, why should the OP bend over backwards to try and help someone who, by their own admission, is a user who won't take "I'm sorry I can't" for an answer?

She must be deluded if she can't understand that you can't get her a job because she's your friend.
If she starts whining again I would leave the conversation.