Friend keeps asking me for a job - getting exhausting!

[fireandice26]

Hi,

I have a friend who wants to work at the company I work at. It's a VERY large company that we all know of. Her area of expertise isn't my field (so she would be in a completely different department).

She asked me every few weeks for a job - as if it is something I can magic up. It's not. It's REALLY not. Then upped it to nearly every time we spoke. Granted; it wasn't EVERY time we spoke - but that said; she would moan about her job and how much she needed a change and how she 'needed someone to help her...' so we would directly or indirectly get onto this topic.

She applied directly via the site and got rejected for three roles. No interview/chat. Just a direct 'no'. She now is looking for a job at another arm (but same parent company) and asked me to refer her. I simply cannot do this - (I'd have even less (than zero) 'pull' at the other arm of the company!!)

Before anyone points out the obvious; yes I have told her MULTIPLE times that getting a job isn't as simple as she thinks it is. She seems to think I can just pass on her CV to my bosses and she'd be moved to the top of the queue... and BAM... the role is hers!

I also told her to please stop asking me as it's making me really uncomfortable and damaging our friendship.

Last week, she brought it up again and upped the ante big time since she's now been let go from her current job. Whilst I get the urgency given the change in her circumstances; AIBU to just distance myself/ghost at this point?

String her along. Say 'Hey, the CEO position is vacant, want to.go for it? I can get your CV to the Board! She'll soon realize you're pulling her chain. If she doesn't, you've got bigger problems. '

I get your frustration, OP. I once had a friend once discover my employer - in my department - had just hired three new staff. She knew it had good wages & working conditions. She went spare at me for not referring her, and they would have hired her too, off my reputation.

Thing is, she wasn't suitable at all, both qualifications and personality wise for our team (very abrasive/knows everything, thinks she's the boss after 5 minutes). Could have destroyed my career & friendship. So I didn't, and heard about it for years. I don't regret it.

Especially after I referred another, desperate for work friend for the short term, menial task gig I was originally interviewing for (I was very young but offered a much better role on interviewing). She rarely turned up & the kind colleague picking her up every day stormed in after she didn't even turn up to the pick up point!!! I had to apologise for her & tell the bosses to fire her if they wan7. They did (she was casual). Never again. No good deed goes unpunished.

Jimmy carr has a great definition of entitled which fits right in here
look at where someone is in life right now and then plot a point at where they want to be in the future.
if they make it someone else’s responsibility to get them to that point, thats entitlement.
If they know it’s their own responsibility to get to their desired future point, thats not entitlement.

Unless she is an amazing friend in every other respect, I would be backing away from the friendship, OP.

You have been kinder than I would have been in looking at the CV of someone so annoying / one-track-minded.

Why are people on here such wet wipes? Just tell her 'ive told you you're making me uncomfortable by asking so talk to me again when you've agreed to never ask again because i don't even want to talk to you at this point youre a melter'

This! 😂 Oh please do this, @fireandice26 ?!

OP needs to say: “Sorry it’s puts me in a conflict of interest situation “ so I can’t do anything for you “.

Or this…. Probably the more grown up way of responding…

Too wordy. We’re not dealing with a ‘grown up’ situation here are we?

How about she doesn't.
The friend is not nice. Why would she want her in the same company?

This. 👋 😂

😂

Yes, if ever there was good reason to ghost someone this is it. What a cheek.

Reminds me of someone I know who worked in social housing some years ago, and she had at least a dozen people over the first 5-6 years she was there asking her if she can 'get them a house.' It's farcical. She told me 'I can't even get a social housing house for mySELF! just like that!' Even employees can't jump the queue!

Thing is, regarding your situation @fireandice26 I wouldn't even WANT this woman working with me. I wouldn't even want people I like, my friends, my neighbours etc, working at the same place as me, let alone someone who is as annoying as she is. 😖

End of the day you’ve done all you can. Is she like this with all of her friends? Are they all expected to go cap in hand to HR to take someone on they don’t even know will be capable of doing the job! She seems unbelievably stupid and I bet if and when she ever gets a job through a friend, she will forever blame them for how bad the job is!
id be inclined to tell her the company have implemented a new rule of no friends or family, due to nepotism in the workplace so “ sorry, if I’d got you in earlier you’d have been ok”………(jokes🙄)

It’s not your responsibility to get her a job. Can’t she apply to other companies? Suggest she gets professional help with a job coach, a one-off workshop perhaps.

She's not your friend. She has no care or concern for you.

@XelaM If you think I am being 'deliberately unhelpful' (your words), I suggest you read my PPs. Why would I post otherwise in the first place if I was choosing to be 'deliberately unhelpful'? RE: referrals - see PPs.

In fairness, she has expressed interest in applying elsewhere - but wants to leave one field to enter another - and where I work is her 'dream co' - so she's set her sights entirely on where I work. However, her new 'field' isn't mine either. We have appox 200,000 employees globally, to be clear. The competition is no joke.

@scottishgirl69 I've already said this - as per my previous posts. I've also said it again as recently as last night. Please see previous posts for the update from today.

@fireandice26 wrote She messaged me back and said (without making it too 'outing') that she only wanted people in her life that would 'support her'.

And you only want people in your life who don't ignore what you say, and appreciate all you have done for them.

Agreed. I left it at that. Thank you though for the sentiment.

Appreciate all the responses! Thank you. I think I've reached the end of the road here. I did everything I could with the dilemma, but still - a shame things transpired the way they did.

She is clearly angry and thinks I'm the reason she's not got her dream job offer at her feet - and honestly, there's nothing I can do to change that false perception. I've helped in every way I possibly can. Alas.

Her response is irrational and unreasonable, and unfair.

Agree - why should she be babied like this. She should upskill herself instead of trying to coast by on cronyism/nepotism.