Friend keeps asking me for a job - getting exhausting!

[fireandice26]

Hi,

I have a friend who wants to work at the company I work at. It's a VERY large company that we all know of. Her area of expertise isn't my field (so she would be in a completely different department).

She asked me every few weeks for a job - as if it is something I can magic up. It's not. It's REALLY not. Then upped it to nearly every time we spoke. Granted; it wasn't EVERY time we spoke - but that said; she would moan about her job and how much she needed a change and how she 'needed someone to help her...' so we would directly or indirectly get onto this topic.

She applied directly via the site and got rejected for three roles. No interview/chat. Just a direct 'no'. She now is looking for a job at another arm (but same parent company) and asked me to refer her. I simply cannot do this - (I'd have even less (than zero) 'pull' at the other arm of the company!!)

Before anyone points out the obvious; yes I have told her MULTIPLE times that getting a job isn't as simple as she thinks it is. She seems to think I can just pass on her CV to my bosses and she'd be moved to the top of the queue... and BAM... the role is hers!

I also told her to please stop asking me as it's making me really uncomfortable and damaging our friendship.

Last week, she brought it up again and upped the ante big time since she's now been let go from her current job. Whilst I get the urgency given the change in her circumstances; AIBU to just distance myself/ghost at this point?

Your response should be “Noted, I can’t support you in the way you expect me to, for the reasons I’ve explained a number of times. Good luck for the future, I’m done”.

Lots of large companies have a referral bonus system, and the referrer receives a bonus (if the recruitment takes place). Does your company have a similar scheme?

Every time I come back to this thread, I hear "giz a job", because of the movie and meme!

Op, is this your friend?

She will be hoping that you will regret the loss of your friendship and you will obey her and pull strings for her in order to keep her in your life.
My reply would be along the lines of: no worries good luck for the future, and then block/ghost her.

"She messaged me back and said (without making it too 'outing') that she only wanted people in her life that would 'support her'. Needless to say, she was unhappy - and as predicted, she feels aggrieved that I can't 'get her a job'."

She is many things, and a friend is not one of them.

I wouldn't even send the nice messages as suggested above, it would be a one-word 'Bye' from me.

Well done, OP.

In your situation, I would do a brief “OK, all the best “ type reply and then get on with my life, sharing my time with people who value me and enjoy spending time with me because of who I am, not what they think I can do for them.

I wouldn’t block at this point. Cos maybe, years from now, she may come to her senses and want to try to repair the damage she’s done. For example, if she is ever in a Twelve Step program, she would realise she should make amends to you. But if she ever, ever got back in touch and it transpired she was trying it on again, block and delete without a second thought.

Well, that's wonderful news. Congratulations on one less idiot to deal with in life!

Nobody can get someone else a job. Unless you're Royalty or you own the company. That's not how it works. I don't understand how she doesn't know this. I'd take a step back OP

Well done.
She is no loss, a CF.

Not my arm of the Co, no. In the arm she wants to be in, perhaps there is - but there's nothing I can do for her there.

My side has a totally different HR/hiring system/policies.

It's a number of subsidiaries under one parent company - and where she wants to be isn't my arm. I genuinely have no pulling power/swaying power here.

She's given you the perfect opportunity to step away.

It's tempting to reply 'And I only want people in my life who aren't trying to use me'.

But I would just say, 'OK, good luck', and leave it at that.

I hear you! Had a nearly identical situation with an ex-friend. She wasn't happy in her job. I work from home & she seemed to think it looked like a cushy number. It so isn't.
She started asking me again & again, if there were jobs 'going' at my work every few days.
I told her no & I'd let her know but it was unlikely. She kept on asking & it did get annoying.
Someone else on here said about it being lazy & I agree. She wanted an interview set up for her without having to even apply herself.
She started perstering others of MY family to, 'get her', a job. They've worked hard over years to get where they are (like me) & she seemed to expect to be given it on a plate.
She was not qualified for any of these jobs either.
In meanwhile, another friend kindly told her about a job advertised at her workplace might suit her. She assumed she wouldn't even have to have an interview & told people she had it in the bag based on friendship. She was so put out when told she would have to apply like anyone else. She didn't get it & was so upset.
That friend realised after she'd doged a bullet. She'd be a nightmare to work with.
Yes lazy & entitled. Like I said an ex friend.

Failure is not a nice thing to face, but this friend is blaming the OP and that's really not fair.

She's an idiot.

I would be very tempted to reply “ and I only want people in my life who don’t use me”….. the entitled twat xxx

i feel like she can’t be that good a friend or she’d not keep pestering you persistently about a job you can’t help her with. She’s applied got declined 3 times and still thinks you can open a back door. Which even if you could would reflect badly on you if she wasn’t up to par . You’ve told her it’s damaging your friendship and she persists. I’d distance myself.

Just say You have asked and pleaded with me for a job at my EMPLOYERS
I have tried to tell you that I have absolutely no power whatsoever to get anyone a job. Im sorry but please can you stop asking.
You could go through other places where she may have a better chance. Or maybe she could do a course at college and up a skill to help her.

She’s a silly cow!

So just tell her that you tried and they don’t want to hire her / said no.

@GoldenCupsatHarvestTime I did that - and since then she applied for other roles within the company thinking that would solve the problem. Since then, she was made redundant from her own job - and has now doubled down on her efforts and is going in guns blazing. She thinks it is my lack of 'trying' which is why she doesn't have a job offer at her feet. Bear in mind, after 'x' attempts in a short period of time, we have a 'do not hire' list.

If it happens again, just tell her bluntly, to “join the queue” like a lot of us have had to do at some point.

Dont be ridiculous - it’s not the OPs fault!

Your friend sounds unwell. In most professional jobs in this country, it is not possible to 'put in a good word' for someone who hasn't even applied for a role, and usually not possible to do it if they have, unless you are directly involved in the hire. Nepotism exists but not at the level of being able to get anyone a job no matter your role or seniority in the team/company overall. Even the fact your friend is asking like this suggests she doesn't have the skills/experience/smarts to be right for a professional job at a major organisation.

You haven't RTFT have you...

She sounds like a nutter. Imagine if you did get her a job!