Late 40s / Early 50s - Is This What You Expected?

[Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot]

If you are between your late forties and early fifties, where do you feel you are in life right now?
Is this what you expected when you were younger, or completely different?
Do you feel young and full of energy, or more tired than you thought you would be at this stage?
Do you have friends who have already retired in their fifties? How are they experiencing this period?
Genuinely curious to hear real experiences.

Absolutely this

It’s a mixed bag for me.

Physically, I feel wrecked (hormones, insomnia, exhaustion etc - despite high dose HRT and a clean bill of health shown in blood tests).

However I’m very content overall…I get joy from the smaller things in life and have a smaller circle and generally just happy with my lot.

Im in a job and level (and salary) I never thought I would ever get to in my wildest dreams, and love it. It’s also really flexible which allows me to do lots of volunteering activities which brings me a deep sense of satisfaction.

I’m early fifties and I thought I’d be in better health.
I have never eaten fast food. Always bought organic food.
Regularly exercised, meditated. Don’t use drugs or drink alcohol.

However have had cancer three times now and developed chronic health conditions normally seen in people 20-30yrs older than me.

My mum died when she was a few years older than I. I just don’t think I will get to 80. I think I have maybe 15 years left if I’m lucky.

47, with two young children as I had my last at 45. I never really pictured my life in a particular way (and was ambivalent about having children for a long time), but touch wood things have turned out well and I am probably the most content I’ve ever been. I will be working until I’m 70 due to having kids later in life so retirement is not something I ever think about, but then I spent my 20s and 30s travelling the world, partying and building a successful career so I don’t feel I’m missing out by having to spend the later decades working and I have no regrets overall. I like my job, and even if I can’t do it until I’m 70, the idea of working to old age doesn’t bother me as I’ve generally thrived in all jobs I’ve done, even the shitty ones while at university. Hopefully I still feel like that in 15 years’ time! Motherhood has grounded me in a way I never would have thought possible but also brought anxiety that I never had before, worrying for my kids’ future, pressure to provide a good life and worries about getting older/sick while they are still young. That said, I’m healthy, loads of energy (for someone sleep deprived with toddlers anyway!) and no peri symptoms yet so perhaps the kids are keeping me young, for now at least.

I’ve really enjoyed reading all the comments.
I’m very sleepy as I only slept for less than four hours last night, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing your life experiences. I need a holiday right now! 😄

It’s annoying isn’t it!
I used to buy organic, never smoked, rarely drink.
you may as well do what you want! And let life happen cos it will anyway!
my dad started smoking in early teens and regularly drank and ate meat everyday. Shift wither too. Got to in his 80s!

Not smug at all, she is enjoying life, nothing wrong with that. As a woman who has just turned 45 this is refreshing to hear as reading many of the posts is making me feel depressed 🤣

I agree, not all of us have shite lives or feel shite.

I imagined my life very differently. My life is very boring, and I imagined it would be interesting. All the cool stuff I was doing eroded over marriage and kids, and now I just work to pay bills and treat myself to stuff off Vinted.
I think, maybe I'll pick up all the cool stuff I did before when I retire. But I will be deep in my 60s, tired, who knows what kind of health I will be in.
Sorry OP, really depressing answer but that's where I am. Sometimes I imagine what my life would have been like if I'd married someone who though the things I did were interesting and worth pursuing, but I didn't.

Absolutely. For every 1 of us that are happy/fit/not tired or aching there are 20 people who are.

We're not smug, we're letting people know it doesn't always to shit when you hit 50!

I'm 47. I certainly didn't expect to be parenting primary and preschool aged children at this age! But that's how things worked out, and it's fine. No sign of perimenopause yet, my sleep and hormones are no different to how they were in my 30s. My general health is good, no cancer or major illnesses. Fitness and weight needs improving and I'm working on it. I've neglected my appearance and would like to spend more time and money on that too.
Sex life is OK, probably more affected by the young dcs than my age specifically. No issues with general fitness and aches and pains. Happily married and financially secure. Working just one day a week so not overly pressured and I get enough leisure time.

I don’t know what I expected but I absolutely LOVE being early 50s. Love myself a lot more than in previous decades. Happy and thankful with what I’ve got.

Im looking forward to the next 30 years! 🎉

I’m not allowed on HRT due to the severity of my migraines. Stroke risk apparently.

I never thought I would be single at 50.
i am healthy . I have a full time job and everything I own is mine - no credit .

However i don’t earn a lot - always worked around kids so career took a back seat .
I feel my best years are behind me now and I fear that life is going far too quickly .
I wish I could rewind the clock and make some different choices !

@Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot i hear you. I’m sorry . Life can be cruel.
May i ask what it is , if you feel able to share ?

Severe CHF
i know I nearly died and I try to see every day as a gift now.
sometimes I think someone’s out to get me!!

Generally though I was doing alright till I got to 50. Even menopause symptoms didn’t kick in for awhile. I never really understood how important our hormones are to us.

@Imbusytodaysorry are you affected by illness too? Again only if want to share.

I have severe migraines and have scalp botox for it. No issues accessing HRT.

I tried it for over a year and it did nothing so I stopped. I think I felt a bit better when I stopped it actually!

@StrawberrySundaes You can use transdermal HRT, not tablets.

The Migraine Trust has info on HRT and it's allowed for women with migraine unless of course there are other circumstances.

I've migraine and used hrt for years through a meno consultant.

It's up to you to make your life more interesting.
No one else can do that.

If you're not happy, think about what you can change.

Sounds like you're married to the wrong man, but if that's a choice you're happy with, do your own thing and start enjoying life. You only get one shot at it.

I absolutely love my life and I’m late 50s, if I was reading all these comments about how hard life is in my 40s I’d be scared.
i think the post has more people answering who aren’t happy because to answer positively may sound a bit smug, so this skews the posts.

Yes, I'm a keen hiker and so is my 16 year old, and nowadays he effortlessly outpaces me 😱. All those years patiently waiting for a toddler to catch up, and now he does this to me!!

My dds do this too walk ahead and then wait impatiently!

I marvel at people taking stairs two at a time. I’m v jealous. I remember bounding down the stairs and jumping the last few effortlessly.

Oh to be able to go back in time and tell our 20 something self what not to choose.