to want to kill my gf

[theBOD]

she was meant to be home after work so we could go out for dinner but apparently got rail roaded into dinner (yeah right) with her boss and couldn't say no.
i really feel like putting my fist through her face as soon as she walks through the door pissed out of her mind to make sure she never does it again.

Spice: I have no idea where that 40% comes from. I was just looking at that survey.

'nearly 80% of DV' - hmmm, selective phraseology. How about almost 1 in 4 DV incidents are against men? Both are equally true, but it depends how you care to phrase it which is why I chose to simply report.

As an aside, on the original post I thought it was crass, stupid and badly phrased. I know what theBOD was trying to do but there are far better ways to open up a discussion on the differences in ways in which men and women are treated on MN and in real life.

yep, i#ve looked at that table, hedgewitch, and i do think that tbh without knowing what questions were asked it's not that compelling tbh. that's unfortunate, because clearly it does need to be looked at.

as i said before the power differential between men and women in terms of financial and physical clout and responsibility for continuing childcare will make a huge difference in how DV will escalate and how vulnerable the other partner will feel. no alla violenza and all that, though.

Haven't read the whole thread, but nasty, nasty op.

Whilst I can see how the poster might be disappointed with the situation, I find the aggression and violence in the OP very upsetting and difficult to stomach tbh.

How on earth the poster thought these things were acceptable to say is beyond me

oh, the OP likes to teach us all a lesson, Servalan... we're just silly women. thank god he's here.

PS great name.

yes, Hedgewitch, but what is the def of DV in this survey? it's not in the repeat crimes tables, so far as i saw.

Oh - now I skim down the thread I see what you were doing OP...

Whilst I agree that violence against anyone is no laughing matter, I'm not sure that the original post was the best way to highlight this - it will have distressed a lot of people.

I have a friend with a husband I would regard as abusive, she maintains he doesnt hit her (he shouts and smashes things) I wouldnt put up with his behaviour, she just thinks she isnt "assertive enough" and should and says "I stand up for myself more"...I just want to tell her hes a complete wanker. I did try to steer her towards the councellors at school as her son has been mirroring Dads behaviour and has come to their attention but she just will not do anything.

As I see it if you want to be pedantic the OP was badly constructed but it HAS started an interesting discussion.

Yes, theBOD was rather, shall we say, insensitive with his OP, but I think it was a point well made, hence this rather large thread on domestic abuse against men.

Surely aggression/violence used against anyone should not be condoned, partner or not, same gender, different gender, male on female, female on male, it's all wrong, and tbh there is a lot of 'joking' about women doing stuff to their husbands on here, I've probably said things myself, but we should really be more careful because each time one of posts a 'joke' about doing something to our partner we could be normalising it for a real violent abuser that is harming their partner.

I agree VS.

the op was badly constructed but...

1. At least the op had the balls to put his usual mn name to it rather than hiding behind a namechange. I'm not so sure how many people would if they wanted to make a similar point. and

1. Domestic violence against men exists. Just because it isn't as prevalent as violence against women doesn't make it any less real for the men who experience it. In fact some of the responses on this thread, ie "when two men are killed by their partners we'll start to take it seriously" just sho that on the whole violence against men is not seen as a serious matter in the same way as violence against women.

Is it any wonder more men don't report DV when this is the response they are faced with?

It is not acceptable to take the piss out of doing anything physically harmful to anyone, ever.

The op was badly worded, but the point is a valid one.

From some of the posts on here, some people clearly do seem to think that any recognition that DV occurs against men as well as women dimishes the seriousness of DV against women. It doesn't. On the other hand, trying to ignore DV against men or pretend it doesn't go on very much diminishes the seriousness of DV against men.

i agree with vs

theBOD, have you got a job? If not why don't you get one, you're obviously bored. The difference in the tone of your OP and the other two is enormous. There's is obviously funny and are not supposed to represent an actual RL situation where someone would strangle her husband with a towel.

Twelvelegs, why must he be bored?
What on earth has a job got to do with anything?
Would you say the same to a woman who could be a SAHM? I doubt it, more double standards.

He has raised a valid thread and a valid point, if I was a man on a predominately female site and kept reading the way some of the threads are towards men I'd be rather pissed off.

If I was a woman on a predominately male site and posted on here that men were misogynistic on said site I'd bet there would be tons of posters trotting over there to give them what for, because it's not right for any sex to be so dismissive of the opposite gender.

Hi, I am the op of the 'strangle dh with a towel thread' and I can assure I had no real intention of strangling anyone; but I'm sure you already know that .

Saying you want to strangle someone is commonly used as a toungue-in-cheek sort of way of venting frustrations is it not? I have never in my entire life heard someone say they felt like 'putting my fist through her face' as a joke!

When I saw the thread title " to want to kill my gf" I assumed it was just some man having a jokey moan about his girlfriend. Fine, men are indeed entitled to do that. It was only after reading the rest of the message containing the aforementioned language that my view of it changed

But if a man had wrote that he 'wanted to strangle his gf/dw with a towel', it would probably not have been jokily received, would it.?
Both talking sense imo.

Think this is a very good point and the stats that HW has been posting are shocking. TBH, I think if the OP has contained a few !! and smileys in there, it would have read exactly the same way as the others:

He was meant to be home after work so we could go out for dinner but apparently got rail roaded into dinner (yeah right ) with his boss and couldn't say no.

i really feel like putting my fist through his face as soon as he walks through the door pissed out of his mind to make sure he never does it again Grr!!

No difference IMO - violence is violence whoever the perpertrators and victims are.

No it's about language IMO, what is generally accepted as jest and what isn't.

hey it's me "theBod" namechanged as i was listening to the beachboy this morning and didn't realise how far this thread has taken off without me.
i have just come on to categorically apologise for any offence cause by the manner in which i went about making my point but whole heartedly stand by my point. the only thing i would change however is the phrase "fist through face" which i should have wrote as "slap/punch/strangle/kick" as then it would have been an almost carbon copy of the 2 threads i originally linked and would be no more or less violent in it's words than those two.
to those who asked why i didn't just start a thread asking the question rather than a false scenario i'll answer.i wanted people to be be able to compare the passionate and condemning responses that a thread talking about wanting to hit/attack a partner received when one was concerning a man and the other a woman.

VS you make a good poin there, but the bod did not!!