I’ve just completely lost it with my daughter

[imsoverytired82]

I’ve just completely lost it with my 11 year old daughter

I’ve been so stressed this week. I’ve got issues at work and I haven’t slept

my daughter has been nagging all week about her world book day outfit. She’s asked so many times despite me telling her I’d ordered it. It arrived today and she’s still asking for more for it even though I’d said to her I can’t afford any more. Now she’s onto football boots (she’s had 1 session) and keeps asking. She is autistic so deep down I know she can’t help it. once she gets what she wants she’s onto the next thing.

its 11 and I finally got into bed and went into a deep sleep.My first in ages. She’s shouting my name lying in bed saying I need to take her to buy boots.

i wake up startled and go mad at her an drag her out of bed. Say some really horrible things to her. Scream at her. I’m so so sick of her just constantly not being satisfied until she’s getting something. It’s almost that she doesn’t care what it is as long as she’s getting something.

im so sick because she doesn’t care about anything other than ‘getting’.

It’s very telling that it’s you in your mind that gets the bursary.

if you couldn’t afford private school, why send her? What would you do if the bursary was withdrawn?

It’s not even we. It’s not even about you and your husband. It’s all just you.

I think you would really benefit from some therapy for yourself.

Because you've said it's in tatters - that's a pretty strong sweeping statement. Have you considered trying to claim DLA for her? If you don't already? It might help getting some support that she clearly needs

Don't bother engaging with the posters who are acting like they don't know why private school would be beneficial for your daughter.

You don't owe anyone an explanation and they don't appear to be trying to be helpful.

Even if I had all the money in the world, buying her whatever she wants isn’t going to help her. Just creates bad habits and is feeding her behaviour.

It’s not about buying her things. It’s about accessing therapy and help for you and her and the whole family.

Thanks I am waiting for a response for DLA but I’m not hopeful. I’ll just that for some therapy if I get it.
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I’d home school her and give up work. She’d hate it as she’d miss her friends and her netball team which is her one outlet.

Is your other dc older or younger? How do they feel about you indulging her demands? If your dd was at a state school you would find more support for ehcp and accessing support services. As it is there will be an assumption you can pay. Is she moving for senior? Why use I/my when you are part of a family unit? Do you qualify for DLA/PIP?

Why is that your immediate thought and not state school with an ECHP?

Fucking hell did someone hurt you today?

Don’t you think the op could use help to disentangle why she is taking everything as being hers?

it would help her own mental health if she shared the load. And didn’t feel like everything was all on her.

Younger. We make space for her.

its not true we would be eligible for more. We were in state for years. She’s gets more where she is.

My thoughts exactly 🤣

What’s funny?

I’m autistic.

I was never aware of those before today.

You weren't aware of The National Autistic Society?

When did your DD get her diagnosis and did they not signpost you to any agencies at all?

Not really. Bsck to our GP.

The other posters comment. I’m choosing to ignore your comments as I’m not finding them very helpful.

I’m sorry that you’re not finding them helpful.

i wish you well. I hope you can get help.

When she got the diagnosis, did you google it at all?

I'm struggling to understand how you've never heard of the NAS before today when your own child has been diagnosed with autism and you say that you also have a diagnosis of autism.

And if ahe has only done one session of football, does she actually need boots yet and do you expect her to stick with it. Many give up organised activities at senior school and it is getting towards the end of season. I have a feeling there is a long list of abandoned fads. Maybe operate a one out, one in policy on “stuff” and hobbies. Sell outgrown or unwanted kit.

OP. Try Social Services again and tell them what you did. It’s abuse and a sign you need support. They won’t see it as Child protection because you are wanting to change but they can refer you to parenting groups and courses.

You don't need to go to the GP to contact any of these services. What exactly do you expect the GP to do?

Your also an adult

When did she change school to the private one and was that before or after diagnosis? Does dd2 also attend? Could you go back to the person who diagnosed and ask advice on local sources of support.