My DH has been brainwashed by tick tock conspiracies

[Stressymessymum]

It’s a bit long but I’m unsure how to deal with this behaviour.

during lockdown my DH ( previously was never into anything like this. was very normal, works in a hospital) fell into a habit of listening to conspiracy podcasts - he thought it was interesting and I didn’t think much of it. This hobby has carried on but increased and the last 3 months his behaviour is really off.

examples

No longer wants to vaccinate our children (oldest 2 are fully vaccinated, baby has had newborn jabs but not one year yet)

wants to home educate because he believes the schools are full of paedophiles and other kids ‘shed’ vaccinations. He doesn’t actually want to do any home ed. I think it’s something called unschooling but we both work full time. I’ve asked him for a plan on how he thinks it will work and he can’t tell me.

won’t let children socialise outside of school. Has removed them from clubs (for the same reasons as above.

wont socialise with vaccinated people (included our families)

wont drink Tap water. Baths in bottled water

refusing to pay council tax as it’s a made up scam (I do pay this 😂)

believes NASA/ moon landing/ 911/ holocaust ( and a long list of other things) is made up

That’s just the tip of the iceberg really…

I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he gets really angry and starts ranting.

who on earth do i talk to about this? I know he’s allowed his own beliefs but he’s dragging our children into it and the way it’s escalated I’m a bit scared xx

I've been sat here thinking about your situation. As outlandish as it may seem, I don't think the authorities can do anything as whilst his opinions are not main stream, he is allowed to have those opinions. There is nothing there that is a threat per say to you and the kids - merely a difference of opinion.

For me that would be enough, to drive us apart. When someone's opinions change so vastly and quickly from what you have said, to me there has to be a mental health issue and that issue is potentially created by weed from the timings you have given although he would need to be telling porkies about the regularity and potency of the stuff. I have looked it up on AI and this is what it says:

Cannabis contains THC, the psychoactive compound that alters perception, mood, and thinking. Stronger strains (often called skunk) contain higher THC levels, which are more strongly linked to anxiety, paranoia, and psychotic‑like experiences.
THC can:

• Heighten sensory perception
• Increase heart rate
• Alter how you interpret other people’s behaviour
• Make neutral situations feel threatening

These changes can create the conditions for paranoia, especially in higher doses.

Research shows several patterns:

• Using cannabis to cope with anxiety, stress, or low mood is linked to higher paranoia scores and higher THC consumption.
• Daily or long‑term use increases the likelihood of anxiety, depression, and psychotic‑like symptoms.
• High‑potency cannabis is more strongly associated with hallucinations and paranoia.
• Starting young (teens) increases vulnerability because the brain is still developing.

Not everyone who uses cannabis will experience paranoia — but the risk rises with these factors.

Some groups are more likely to develop paranoia or psychotic symptoms when using cannabis:

• People with a family history of mental health conditions (e.g., schizophrenia, bipolar disorder).
• People who have experienced childhood trauma, especially emotional abuse — recent studies show this group has significantly higher paranoia when using cannabis.
• People already prone to anxiety — THC can amplify anxious thinking.
• People who use high‑THC strains regularly.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Yes it is all over TikTok. I have counter conversations with my teenagers about the shit they consume on their every day. Everything OP has listed I have had to deal with as well. Good luck OP

this , the vaccine and home school is an option in this country. It’s not illegal, not socializing is dangerous. You can home educate and many have groups. I don’t home educate now but my daughter was in year 1. Plenty of groups and play dates and mixing. She never missed out

the holocaust denial is disturbing but again not sure the authorities can do much about that one. Bathing in bath water is weird.

I drink filter water but because I prefer the clear taste. I can taste the difference and for me it’s better. My kids are vaccinated and when it comes to conspiracy I’m sure certain politicians and government are definitely and have definitely done horrible things. The women who once spoke out were called crazy and conspiracy theorists but turns out many of these politicians and those in power were indeed doing despicable things.

he sounds a bit unbalanced if I’m honest but not dangerous. Does he like reform or restore? And think musk and Trump are good? On that alone I would leave.

This sounds like he is having a mental crisis. Opinions are opinions but when it’s a sudden change over a couple of months it’s mental
health issues

Is he safe to do his job? As an NHS worker who believes a lot of things (like COVID if vaccines) are fake/unsafe how can he deliver non biased care?

I guess he’s doing his ‘own research’, do yours and make plans to escape your spiralling DH.

My stepsons are like this. It's lame

Please log / record all the batshit stuff he’s saying. Because he maybe get considerable visitation or custody and I think it would be even worse if you weren’t there to stop him in his tracks. You need evidence that he’s bonkers to present to the court. Try and draw him into some text conversations that you can print off or video your interactions with him if it’s safe.

If you think what you wrote and advised is good for the OP then you don’t understand family courts at all. Be careful recording as this can be seen as malicious as well. Especially if you deny him access to his children. Unless he’s presenting a real danger then it will not cut it. He will get access.

I’ve been through this with worse and the recording was strongly advised against. At worse they might say his behaviour is odd and recommend some counseling/ courses and tell him the children will need to socialize and a plan in place for that, and he won’t have much choice but the other stuff I doubt it .

Please secretly vaccinate the baby measles is so dangerous and is back in the uk

I'd be out the door.

FAST!

Your kids do not deserve to have their childhoods ruined because their dad is a fucking idiot.

Divorce and a fresh start for all, I think.

Exactly. The child could die, FFS. And all because some people are gullible.

Update - in a ridiculous turn of events I rung DH at the end of his working day to update him on leaving, why etc.

he is very relieved, he is very conscious that we’ve all been shedding vaccines around the home so doesn’t mind that we’ve left. Was quite happy about it. I asked if he sheds (as he is fully vaccinated too) and he ignore my question and is planning a deep clean.

he’ll be in touch next week to discuss a long term plan. Told me to have a lovely weekend.

I’ve asked his brother to call in tonight and stay over and see what he tells him.

im going to have a takeaway with my parents and the kids….and a long tap water bath 😂🫣

Huge sympathies OP. Mine changed in lockdown too.

I find just not engaging or arguing is the only way. In front of the children the best/only thing you can do is model having disagreements in a calm and healthy way. So if he says “aliens are real and have abducted people.” You can say “wow, I think almost the exact opposite! isn’t it funny how people can disagree so wildly yet still get along.” And hug him. Give him loads of love. The more wild he acts, the more he needs a calm, stable rational role model in your home. Don’t agree with him, but make him understand you don’t have to.

When it comes to vaccines etc obviously your kids wellbeing comes first, don’t lie to him but don’t make a big deal of it, just get them done.

She’s not 1 yet so that’s the only reason she’s not fully vaccinated. As soon as she’s age appropriate we’ll be the first in the GP centre!

Oh I forgot the shedding and only socializing with unvaccinated is bonkers, too and the shedding is just ridiculous 😂 they’ll have a word with him about that. He’s definitely got some unbalanced view but again they will not stop access for that.

the whole story sound crazy. He literally doesn’t mind you leaving and taking the kids? Because you shed. Goodness, he does need help

Have you heard of Prevent? Anyone can refer if concerned about radicalisation.

Well done, you!

It's literally your job to protect them from his harm.

I know that's a huge responsibility to lay at your feet, but as Mothers we have to get them away from harm whenever we can, and DH's demands re friends/clubs/no socialising etc IS harmful to your babies.

There's no talking him down, unfortunately.

The rabbit hole is designed to cause doubt in anyone who comes with facts and reasoning.

It's about time some of these conspiracy sites are dealt with. They have caused so much misery to so many lives.

id say the biggest conspiracy is like santa but Jesus and books written by humans but ment to be the word of god

Having read your updates it sounds way more scary than my situation and I don’t blame you for leaving.

thanks for posting, a useful wake-up call that these things can escalate and are not rational. I hope for you and the kids sake the man you married is in there somewhere.

Same thing has happened to a very close friend of mine. Her husband started it back in 2018/19 but she was still on the ‘other side’ and thought he was a little crazy. She’d share his thoughts when we met up and we’d chat about it - she was thinking about leaving him.

And then Covid hit and during the time she was in lockdown with him everything changed. She’s fully absorbed and there’s nothing me or any of her family can say. She has taken the girls out of school, shut them away completely. Believes everything you’ve listed about your DH and much much more. The earth is flat, COVID was a hoax, our water is full of poison, there’s a group of elite secretly controlling us all, all serious events and wars are actors and each event is to make us look the other way so ‘they’ can get away with things without us noticing, chemtrails are her obsession. She posts endless videos and quotes but has also found Jesus despite believing everything about church is fake and a scam. It’s very very scary to watch. Some of her neighbours have phoned social services about the children but they haven’t stepped in. As a friend I genuinely don’t know how to approach it. Her parents and siblings have failed.
I know when she was sharing her husband’s info pre her believing, there was a lot on websites and sources that I hadn’t heard about before and it was quite dark.

It’s truly awful to watch and very scary. I wish you lots of luck and think you’ve 100% done the right thing leaving.

The person you need to speak to is a divorce lawyer to protect your and your children's future. He has put his drug habit above the welfare of his family and his own mental health. It's good that his family are on side.

To add, my friend and her husband have never ever touched any form of drug so don’t assume this is the issue. It may be a contributing factor in some cases but it’s really not quite that simple. The stuff on line is horrible and I know my friend suddenly had lots of online friends she’d never met before who believe the same as her and it’s sucked her right in. Devastating.

It sounds like OCD to me - it's normal to feel overwhelmed by news, we live in a barrage of information, but you'd normally be able to distinguish it.

After a while (I'm autistic) I'd ask myself is this information helping, is it practical, or is it causing more stress and anxiety. There's nothing wrong with making positive steps towards things like eating less UPF, or being aware of side effects and making a balanced decision about risk v consequence. All that is healthy. If information isn't helping, stop it bombarding you. These social media sites beam stuff through your phone in the evenings after 8pm - everyone's brains are tired by then so it's harder to filter through, then if you have a bad night sleep you aren't giving your brain time to properly process information. All of this is relevant. He urgently needs to delete Tik Tok as it's not good for the brain. Switch to reading a variety of long form media on Press Reader, sites like Substack or Medium are good too. Curate a healthier social media feed. Or stop all of it full stop for a while and just observe what happens. Turn the phone to grayscale, get a Brick, buy the Balance phone or a subscription to Balance phone, replace it with something else - what hobbies did he have as a child?

It even happened to my parents, my Dad has stopped reading the Telegraph, I can tell when my Mum has been reading it as she is so irritable at the world.

I don't think there is much specialist help for it - I think a course in CBT generalised anxiety disorder would probably be the closest thing. If it's OCD then maybe there is more treatment.

It's quite possible there is underlying neurodivergence so if you choose a therapist make sure they are neuroaffirmative. Antidepressants at a low dose might also help as they can help with overthinking, thought circles, low serotonin and so on - in the long run it's worth it while also getting therapy.

Oh yes that can cause severe paranoia in some people. My abusive stepdad smoked it and used to be so paranoid he’d think I was laughing at him when I was laughing at something on TV or whatever. It drives some people nuts, not everyone can handle it at all.