Child not invited to party despite being friendst with the mum

[dual90]

Recently we’ve become quite friendly with a mum and child who is in the same class as my child, we’ve had a few play dates, I have had them over on a few occasions, in the fact the last one a couple of weeks ago. The children play really nicely together and ok, not best friends at school, but would consider them friendly. However, the mum has been having an incredibly difficult time, and obviously I’m quite aware that this has an impact. But yesterday my child came home from school quite upset that this child had been handing out invites for a themed birthday party and didn’t invite them…I was kind of surprised really, I then said it maybe be because they can only have so many people, but my child then replied, no she was ‘boasting’ that they can have lots of people and even had a space left over but didn’t want to invite her. Now, I don’t think my child is overly upset, but I feel it’s hurt me a little bit as I’ve really tried to be friendly with the mum and be an ear for her during an incredibly difficult time, and what is more odd is that they have invited my child to two previous birthday parties before and we’ve always invited them. I’m aware that now they are 6 the parties are becoming less and I understand the mum may have on this occasion just left the list up to the child, but they’ve invited people that ( according to my child ) that they are normally even friendly with, I suppose I thought there was an unwritten rule that you’d invite people or influence who to invite by who you maybe spend time with, but it’s made me a little upset I know it shouldn’t but I just don’t feel I would have done that to them. I even bumped into the mum yesterday, because my child was upset I just wondered if she would mention anything or say there was a mistake, but seemed to want to change the subject. Yes, I will admit I’m a little hurt, and I know it’s crazy and I’m well aware my child isn’t best friends with the child, but sometimes it feels a little personal. Should I mention this other mum? And please this part of parenting I’m finding quite hard. And no, my child has not been invited to any parties this year so far.

You are really are an absolute piece of…

Wow, are you the mother? Hope you’re not bringing up your off-spring with the same attitude.
Big bullying shits in the making!

Very strange considering you had a play date a few weeks ago. I would just blank them from now on and leave the kids to play at school nothing more

Sounds like it’s the child’s choice, and that she’s possibly attempting to make certain new friends with the invites? In a clumsy childish way.

6 is so young, they change their friends frequently at that age, and aren’t always logical. She won’t think “who have I had a play date with recently”, she’ll think “who do I want there” or “who do I want to be my friend”. It’s still pretty tiny - they want to make their own decisions and think they’re getting to be “big kids” when actually they’re not even school age in some countries.

Yes, it’s not nice if a child is rubbing your daughter’s face in it that they’re not invited, and that’s something to keep an eye on if unkind behaviour continues. If there is more unkindness, you can always have a quiet word with the Mum or the teacher.

I wouldn’t over think it though.

By the time it’s next term this will be ancient history in such young children’s minds.

Thank you, you’ve actually hit the nail on the head. No not a close personal friend I knew before, we know each other because of our kids, not somebody I socialise with and hope our kids get a long, this is exactly the point I think people have missed.

Why so nasty?
Completely unnecessary.

I’m not even going to respond to the above comment. Being kind to somebody is quite normal to me, I don’t expect eternal gratitude, but I do think being decent to me and my child was the one thing that could have happened. No, not because they have to, but maybe because this is something I would have done. But yes, somebody being deliberately nasty to get a rise.