Eating beef in the house

[Frazzled252]

Partner is an atheist but was raised Hindu and is very aggressive about me eating beef. I have told him I will eat beef as it’s his belief not mine. I ate it in the house tonight and he has called me an a**ehole and is demanding I throw away the plate and cutlery I ate it on, yet he goes to many restaurants where they serve beef and eats on those plates. AIBU?

Yes, but it's only illegal to buy or sell dog meat because of our own cultural prohibitions on eating dog.

The framing of dogs as "man's best friend" is also cultural.

If he has a similar cultural belief about eating beef - and many people do - then it doesn't matter if he is atheist or not, the idea may just be repulsive to him.

That doesn't follow. I'm an atheist and I don't eat whale, rabbit, horse or some other of meats that were not eaten where I grew up but are commonly eaten elsewhere. It's illegal to eat cow in some Indian states so if je grew up in one of those areas its perfectly reasonable he doesn't consider cows to be meat.

Exactly. It's very interesting to see how many people are unable to comprehend this.

Ethnnocentricity at its best.

What makes you think PP don't understand? They just don't agree.

They don't agree that cultural norms play a role in what people consider appropriate to eat?

It's very evident from their posts that they don't understand.

What is it exactly that you are saying that they don't agree with? The fact that cultural beliefs are deeply ingrained? The fact that intercultural relationships require some compromise? The fact that anyone is entitled to feel that they don't want something which they find repulsive in their own home?

I’m coeliac, and I eat off the same plates that other people in my family have eaten gluten containing food from. That would make me ill. But the plates/cutlery are clean. Perspective.

There is no contamination from the beef on clean plates and cutlery. But he also clearly doesn’t like you eating beef. You need to talk.

He is British born and raised, it’s worth mentioning I am also of Asian descent, but eat everything.

It’s a philosophical issue not a medical issue. If he feels strongly about it he should buy a second set of dishes and cookware for himself.

You should be able to eat your food in your own home as long as you do not create a health risk for other residents

Eating meat is wrong and and gross

They need to go their separate ways.

This is a deal breaker for him and it also means he won't tolerate any children they could have together eating beef at all...

I wouldn't put up with this need to control what your partner can or cannot eat.
It doesn't bode well.

When you hit the dating trail again, make sure you pick a steak restaurant as your first date location so you can weed out all the non-meat eaters.

Oh interesting - sounding like its more about control then!

Did you not have a discussion before you moved in together?

It is a huge ask.
Do you have children together?
Do they eat pork?

Its funny what hangs on. My father was raised catholic and was physically abused by priests and nuns as a result (not sexually, at least he has never said so) and is now atheist and staunchly anti catholic. But he still got very very bothered by my decision not have my three youngest baptised (had faith when I was younger but lost it by the time I had them).

To him the risk was too high. If god does not exist and heaven doesnt either then it didnt matter if I had them baptised just in case, so what was the problem? It still bothers him to this day.

Helpful 🙄

That's why religions get them young so they can brainwash children before they can think for themselves. It's very hard to switch off ingrained behaviors no matter how irrational they are.

You know being called an “arsehole” is not a big deal for many people.. it’s only as hurtful as it’s meant to be.

Ironically, my father says exactly this!

And from what the OP posted, it was supposed to be very hurtful because otherwise, why would she be hurt?

I find it depressing that anyone would think asking your partner and children not to eat pork in the house is "a huge ask" - how much bacon and sausages etc is everyone having for this to be the case? Our overconsumption of meat as a society is really appalling; it's awful for the environment, for animals and (where sausages and bacon and other processed meat are concerned) for our health. Not having it at home but having it at restaurants would have a positive impact on all of us.

I think compatibility might be an understatement.
I'd be rather scared of this guy.
@Frazzled252 are you ok?

I would’ve licked my fingers off and pointed and said “there’s the door.”
Whether he could’ve understood you or not with your mouth full is not your problem — is it.
No, ma’am.

No religious commitments here, but my partner doesn’t eat fish, and I don’t really eat red meat. If I am out he happily enjoys a bloody steak, and I gleefully share fish and chips with the cat when he’s not in. Otherwise we cook and eat meals we can est together.

Thanks for asking, yes I feel pretty good actually. He started accusing me of “religious hatred” ( for the eating beef) and it’s given me the ick. I’m just very thankful that this has happened now so I’m not wasting any more of my life with him.