Will you want your parents' stuff when they die?

[OneWorthyLemonCat]

I'm a big declutterer, and now live pretty minimally. I have a one in, one out policy on new possessions, and try to only buy quality items that I really love.

I've just been thinking about my parents and in laws. They often make reference to DH and me and our siblings having their "stuff" when they die.

We'll barely wany any if it though.

Of my mums, I'd love her Ercol sideboard. Of my inlaws, we would love my MIL's collection of LeCreuset pans.

That's it. EVERYTHING else that they own will go to charity, or in a skip.

We don't share the same taste, and although DH and I have plenty of space, I know so many people have much smaller homes now. We also live differently to them - I would never use fine China, or serve cakes on a glass cake stand, or poach a whole salmon in a fish kettle, or serve drinks in crystal glasses, or use solid silver cutlery!

Which of your parents' possessions would you want? How do you think it will feel taking their worldly possessions to a charity shop? (I wonder if shops will be so inundated in 5-10 years that they stop taking donations anyway. I know many have stopped already). Does it make you live or think differently about your own approach to acquiring "stuff" through your lifetime?

DH and I dont have kids, and I'm very comfortable with the idea that our much loved possessions will have brought us happiness through our lives, but will end up at the rubbish tip when we're no longer here!

We had to clear out our parents house when one died (the other was already in a care home). It was a nice, modern, tidy, well kept house but there was so much stuff to get rid of. The grandkids picked a piece of clothing each, and me & DB took a couple of small things, but the rest was given to charity or binned. The vast majority was neither valuable (as DM thought) or wanted. It took a few weeks to do properly between 4 adults and the occasional young adult from the next generation.

My daughter inherited quite a lot of jewelry from my mother, some of which had been her mother's (DD's great grandmother). She had it remade into a beautiful modern necklace 2 sets of earings and a bracelet using the stones and gold. She wore them on her wedding day and they still hold the same sentimental Some of gold left over was make a signet ring for her new husband. There was also a signet ring with a stone of my dad's which DD had made into a necklace for me as a surprise. It cost hardly anything the left over gold was sold to pay for the remakes

My daughter inherited quite a lot of jewelry from my mother, some of which had been her mother's (DD's great grandmother). She had it remade into a beautiful modern necklace 2 sets of earings and a bracelet using the stones and gold. She wore them on her wedding day and they still hold the same sentimental Some of gold left over was make a signet ring for her new husband. There was also a signet ring with a stone of my dad's which DD had made into a necklace for me as a surprise. It cost hardly anything the left over gold was sold to pay for the remakes

To my knowledge, I don't want anything from my parents' belongings. I know that my sibling and I will have to clean it out, and to be honest, I don't want too. I wish that my parents would realise this and have a really good de-clutter now before we are at the point that it's left to us siblings to have to do something about.

The only thing I really want is my mum's coffee table. It was made by my grandad and has alot of intricate, carved out detail. I always remember playing with my toys around it when we went to my grandparents and is very sentimental to me and my mum.

I imagine there are a few bits of furniture I might like from my dad.

Thinking about this, I will need to label some stuff because it's valuable...I know if I don't it will just get chucked away!

My parents have been getting rid of stuff for years.
All I want is some jewellery and a print that I got about 40 years ago.
She admired it and i gave it to her.
I am not remotely sentimental and am planning to move to Spain next year.
DH doesn't have anything of his parents. His revolting sister cleared FILs property and it now fills her filthy smelly house.

Fortunately my parents house burnt down in their 70s.

I am dreading this with my mum, she's a bit of a hoarder. Jewellery, family photos and family history stuff I'll mostly want to keep. I won't want any furniture. She's laying the guilt on thick already telling me I will have to find space in my house for my ggrandmother's enormous sideboard because it is a family heirloom. I have no idea where in my house I would put it and suspect I won't keep when the time comes but I won't tell her that. There hasn't been decluttering in that house for 50 years.

I agree with this. I am actually finding this post and the comments incredibly helpful. We've cleared both in laws and my mother's properties in recent years and kept too much at the time that we subsequently then had to dispose of. Knowing that other people haven't kept everything or wouldn't keep everything has been quite comforting to me as I feel guilty about what I hadn't kept, but had no room for and didn't actually need. It's not disgusting and some of us have had to rake over our parents' possessions because that is what happens when they die. Anything that makes doing this easier is not to be disregarded.

I wouldn’t want any of it but I’m not sure I’d be able to throw it away either.

A drastic solution! I hope they were OK and adequately insured.

Having seen the arguments this can cause amongst siblings I think me and bro will be very relaxed when the time comes with our parents.

I have recently inherited some things from various other relatives. The key thing that links them all is that a) no one else wanted them (see first line!) b) they remind me of the person c) they have little to no value and d) they don't take up much space.

So an old step stool, the freebie spoon that me and my bro used to fight over to eat our pudding at our grandparents and a painting of a dead relative have made their way to my house.

If you can afford to store it, nothing wrong with putting it all in store and letting things settle for a little while and then seeing how you feel. If there's a house or a flat to be sold, it will have to be cleared, unfortunately.

This is why it's called being "house proud" isn't it? It isn't a compliment. And pride comes before a fall.

That's so sad

MIL was very cute as she knew all her 5 children had different ideas on what to do with her possessions

Her will stated, that we were to take back anything we had purchased for her and she was also cute enough to have boxed up all the stuff she had kept from the kids when young in boxes with their names on and every item of jewellery was itemised and bequeathed

Then we were allowed to take anything we particularly wanted, which was nothing really, we took a garden chair and a plant

Then she also stated that everything was to be sold if possible, donated if not and the house sold as soon as possible and all monies to be shared equally as the soonest

All the siblings had difference experiences of childhood, some left home early and didnt return, others never moved far from the apron strings , so she was very precise with the will to stop any upset

She saw how her husbands will had divided the siblings and she made sure hers was never going to do that

She was a canny woman was my MIL. I didnt know her long but I loved her to bits and we got on the very best

My mother died suddenly and totally unexpectedly in my childhood home in South Africa. We rushed over for the very quick funeral then had a week to clear everything, amazing objects from a life well lived. We went from crying "we don't want to take anything" to everyone suddenly realising they needed to take what they wanted, pronto, as the week progressed and it became less raw. Whenever one of ma's friends popped by I'd encourage them to take something. Initially they held back, as we had, until I pointed out everything had to go so it was now or never. The family all around the world now have my mother's random things on display, which is rather nice I think. The local library and charity shop did well too.

Miss read, I thought the title was "will you want your parents stuffed when they die". Mine just had a normal cremation.

Both my parents are dead. I have my mums engagement ring & thats it. Nothing worth keeping when my dad died

I want absolutely nothing from my parents and will probably leave it all to my brother to sort. I've already told them jokingly their stuff will be skipped

I know that sounds harsh but my mother has been so emotionally manipulative over her belongings, mostly her jewellery and china, promising it to various people, then promising the same stuff to others that I really don't want anything to do with it

She showed me her will where she had left her wedding and engagement rings to my brother, I don't think he would be bothered by them. will sell them

They have started on with my dc's, promising 'this will be yours when I die'. They eventually did give away a watch and bracelet but they are hidden away as my boys dare not use them as they are given the third degree over said items

The things in the cardboard are slides - not the same thing as negatives. God, this has brought back memories of my grandparents in the eighties, putting on slide shows of their holidays to Benidorm. They were the kindest sweetest people ever and I adored them, but that was dull. Sitting there while granddad took all the slides out of the machine (slide projector) and loaded the next batch. Interesting illustration of how attitudes to childrearing have changed, actually - nowadays most parents would say "Nah, can't expect a 4yo to sit still for an hour of this". But back then, it wasn't optional, and I don't think it ever crossed my mind that it could be. Holiday Slide Show was An Event.

I really recommend anyone reading 'the gentle art of swedish death cleaning' its a wonderful little book that deals with this important topic of peoples belongings and how they impact on being left to others after we have gone.

I would only want anything that holds sentimental value.
DF passed away 5 years ago, I have a memory bear made from some of his t shirts and a couple of small things that remind me of him.
Unlike DS1 (26) when we were sorting DF’s things he brought a lot home with him. He’s a man after DF heart. A hoarder 😂 I made him take it all with him when he moved out.
DM still has his walking stick hung over the back of his chair like it was before he passed. Either me or my sister will have this when DM passes.

Photos and interesting family documents aside, I wouldn't want anything of my mum's - decent stuff but not my style. Well, maybe some of the seventies plates and casserole dishes etc which I think are cool in a retro sort of way. I have some of her parents' stuff though - nice deco-type ceramics and mid century furniture (not Ercol, which seems to be cropping up a lot on this thread, but that kind of style). And some kitchen stuff. You can take it too far with the waste-not attitude though, where that sort of thing's concerned - handle came off an eighties pan as I took it off the heat. A scar from a large burn down one leg wasn't quite how I wanted to remember them.

I have my father's Beatles fanclub-only stuff: Xmas records, magazines, posters that didn't seem like they'd ever been out of their packaging. And little things like his old passports and driving license and small coin collection.

Its not valuable and i doubt it would come to much.