Annoyed by lack of children’s birthday gift

[Gambino1726]

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit miffed by this? My DD (9) has a close friend who has attended her birthday party two years in a row without bringing a gift. To be clear, my annoyance is with the mum, certainly not the child!

Last year, they arrived and the mum mentioned they’d forgotten the gift but would bring it into school. We never heard another word about it. This year, they turned up empty-handed again and haven't mentioned it at all.

I’m a solo parent and I’ve spent hundreds on venue hire, food, and party bags to make the day special for everyone. While we definitely don’t need more 'tat' in the house, my daughter gets so excited about the tradition of opening gifts. She’s quite confused why her close friend didn't bring anything again. I’ve explained to her that nobody is obligated to give a gift and that some families might be struggling financially, but it still feels a bit stingy given the circumstances. AIBU to think a small token would have been appropriate?

No I am not. I made it quite clear that if somebody really cannot afford a gift that is a different matter to somebody who can afford it but who simply cannot be bothered to buy one & wrap it. If you actually read my previous posts, I have said many times that I know loads of single mums on benefits who are some of the most generous with both their own and other people’s children.

As to your Facebook stuff- I couldn’t care less. I can cope with people having a different opinion, you are the one who cannot cope.

We are very different people. I am raising my children to have reasonable, in fact high, expectations of how they both be treated and treat others, and not to settle for the bare minimum. People will take advantage.

It is not a class division - I’m quite firmly working class. It’s 100% rude to turn up with nothing, we are below the poverty line and have a box of gifts I’ve picked up as bargains ready, so my children can accept the party invites... If anything I’d assume it was the wishy washy wealthy people who might not bring a gift/ out of touch with manners. Also do your Facebook friends know you’ve shared their name, comments and profile picture on a public forum?
Your call on sharing your own - but to share others….

It's not about bare minimum.
Its about acceptance, compassion and inclusion. We accept everyone.

You're right, we are very different people.

My DD had a birthday party recently and no one came without a gift and we are no way affluent but the difference between you and I is that I don't and wouldn't expect everyone to come with a gift and if they did, they would still be welcome to come again.

I have no issue with you doing things differently. You do you and I’ll continue to do things my way. As others are free to. We do not have to agree on this 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well done you for having a good brain in your head. Not everyone else will think of that because again, not everyone does the same as you do (mentioned in my previous comment), getting bits ready in case you're invited to a party but you 🫵🏼👌🏼 brilliant 😉 I actually love you a bit for doing that 🫶🏼 I'm really trying not to sound sarcastic as I'm truly not being so but whatever I seem to add just digs me a bigger hole 🫣

Thanks for the heads-up.
I didn't think 🤷🏼‍♂️🫣

I'd love to know whether said child actually has birthday parties? If the mother is broke probably not
If they are just being stingy and do have bday parties then I would send my dc without a gift in return 🙃

Remembers a party invite (and chance to offload a child) but cant remember to nip to a shop en route and put £5 in a card??