school say my son has to be in after his accident

[healingqueen]

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

OP, is it worth checking with his doctor? If they think he is experiencing delayed shock etc, they will be able to provide a medical note.

Is it that he is embarrassed about his teeth? It sounds an awful accident, sorry that he is in pain. My son was straight back to school after he had an accident and broke his hand, but he had had his surgery very quickly. And he didn’t have the teeth thing. I imagine that is the biggest issue.

Talk to him calmly and maybe talk to his doctor, something isn’t right if he is refusing to go.

In my day, it wasn’t uncommon for pupils with broken legs to hobble around the school for weeks until it healed. If they could manage that, I’m sure your son can manage with a fractured wrist

Was just going to say when I was a kid in junior school we had two boys in our class both with broken legs hobbling about on crutches. At the same time I had a badly sprained ankle all bandaged up and also with crutches.
There was never any consideration of staying at home more than a couple of days till the shock wore off! Our teacher took a lot of ribbing about it though.
Miss Brown breaks your legs if you don't behave.
Maybe you had to be there.

Hopefully it won’t, but I guess that’s a bridge to cross when they come to it (no pun intended.)

But I wouldn’t be in after an accident like this, it sounds horrible. I do understand schools are under pressure with attendance but some common sense and humanity has to happen too.

@FreeFromWhat you might want to
look at a diagram of the human body as heads and legs aren't the same thing.

The dental hospital may well take a long time to get back to them - did for Dad who was in a lot of pain waiting but that was his area and it will vary. It's partly why I suggsted earlier trying really hard to get a dentist now.

I still think waiting and seeing how bad the fracture is on Friday is resonable and maybe checking in with GP if possible rule out concusion.

DS had two weeks off in Y9 - few days in hospital and rest at home - made no impact on his really good exams results years later.

I do think Op may need to chase school about concessions for his injures when he does go back or have a staggered start or drop him off first day - even round the other kids needing to get to their school - maybe approach kids he knows to keep an eye on him - DD1 had a mother from nearby road ask her with her DD permission just to help while she got used to the crutches.

I don't think he needs to go back on the schools timetable it needs to suit how well he is.

If you think he shouldn't go in, then call him in sick every morning.

If you think he should, then you should explore why he doesn't want to go in and try to find a remedy - whether that's stronger painkillers, or something else.

My son had staggered start and finish times when he broke his leg - because of course his classroom was on the 3rd floor and it was exhausting for him, so I'd collect him with a wheelchair. But he was back at school by the Monday, when he had the accident on Thursday.

If he's had other unauthorised absences you need to sort that out. I'm not clear if the issue is unauthorised or just absences in general. Being marked unwell is not the same.

you might want to
look at a diagram of the human body as heads and legs aren't the same thing

Eh?

I wouldn't be sending my son so I can't blame you.

Some helmets have a protect piece in front which would have taken the brunt of the fall.

I hope you have similar expectations for your self if you have a nasty accident/trauma that leaves you with significant physical injury. Otherwise you would be a hypocrite.

Well, the school are right. He should be in and if he isn’t, that’s unauthorised absence. You need to be clear with him that he is expected to be in school and that he needs to explain to you why he is refusing to go out. And then you make a plan to help in get back in school as soon as possible.

1. If you're planning on keeping him off any longer then when are you planning on making him return? Tbh once his wrist has been immobilised it really shouldn't be excrutiatingly painful. I've broken my ankle and my wrist a couple of times and I don't remember any of these being especially painful after a couple of days. Is it his ego that's hurt more than his bones? If so you can't shield him from this as it's likely to be several weeks before his teeth are sorted and he's no longer bruised. The school might even end up deregistering him before then. If you're adament you want to do this then your only option is probably to home school then hope you can re register him in a few weeks

2. GPs/hospitals can provide copies of his medical notes but they will not provide a sick note. This is a legally binding document for working adults only. It isn't for them to judge whether a child is or isn't well enough to attend school. One would assume that this should be a common sense decision between parents and school but apparently this is often severely lacking on both sides.

OP this might sound silly but there is a TV show called 8 simple rules and in one of the episodes one of the teens in the household breaks her nose and is worried about going back to school and being teased. If you can locate it it might help your DS to watch it.

Its on disney plus i love 8 simple rules

Yes it is. She breaks the nose in a tennis match. Should be easy enough to locate as there aren't that many episodes.

PS RIP John Ritter bless his soul

I would suggest stronger painkillers (I've broken 3 bones and when I was in my 20s paracetamol alternated with ibuprofen helped though as you get older you need stronger meds!), and take away the TV remote and his phone/games so it's boring at home.
Give him some books to read and he'll either get bored or learn something.

Just read your posts @healingqueen not all the replies. I'm wondering if he could have a bit of a concussion? It's a funny thing and when I had it, it was a struggle to identify let alone articulate, why I felt so off - I just new that I did.

Might he worth having a gp assess him for concussion because if so then it's fair for him to rest and recover a few more days.

Sounds like an awful accident :(

If I wanted to keep my job, I would.

Same way the staff member whose face was almost entirely purple following an accident walking their dog turned up every day (and went to hospital to have it x-rayed after making sure that all the exam entries for their classes were completed).

It's possible to make adjustments to allow for not entering the corridors when they're busiest, having somebody bring lunch to somewhere like Learning Support or a Pastoral Hub, if mobility were an issue, arranging for lessons or work to be carried out on the ground floor, that kind of thing. If he's self conscious about bruising, he might be able to stay somewhere quieter for break and lunch. But not being happy about how he temporarily looks isn't an illness, so it can't be authorised.

A full face helmet would have protected him. Chin falls are one of the most common type on a scooter. Dress for the slide not for the ride..

I can't edit but all the typos in this - don't judge me!!

The boy likely has concussion and you're going on about a leg. 😀

We currently have a child in school with a broken wrist. We also have a child who has been managing on crutches with a broken ankle since before half-term. Both are in casts and, with reasonable adjustments, are able to cope perfectly well with the school day. Dont project your feelings onto your child or the school; it won't end well for anyone.

Did he hit his head when he fell?

😂

I was wondering this too. My 13 year old refuses, and when I say refuses i mean point blank. It sounds like that posters child has school reluctance rather than refusal/EBSA

I think the recovery emotional trauma is more around the bash to the head and mouth/teeth. How do you think you feel after a massive smack to the mouth. I can tell you it's pretty dreadful and the OP'S son's smack to the mouth was hard enough to break several teeth.