school say my son has to be in after his accident

[healingqueen]

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

Couldn't agree more.

I’d be concerned about concussion, when my son hit his head falling off his MTB on a Saturday (with a full face helmet), he seemed fine so I sent him to school. He ended up coming home with nausea and a headache. Apparently concussion symptoms can take 48 hrs to show up. I then looked into the guidelines for kids and concussion (look at the ones they do for kids who play rugby etc) and he was supposed to stay away from screens etc for the first few days too. I think he missed a few days of school in the end and a few weeks of MTBing.

www.sportengland.org/news/new-concussion-guidelines-grassroots-sport

If you have nothing helpful to say, I'd shut up if I were you. Unless you've had a facial injury including the loss of teeth and subsequent extractions you have no idea of the shock and pain involved. Add in the broken wrist and I can imagine he is feeling pretty rotten all round. There's no way I'd be forcing him back before he's ready just to meet the attendance targets of some shit school!

I would call his Dr and say what happened and that he is in pain and shock regarding his teeth having to be removed so suddenly.
He is probs feeling self conscious, in pain and PTSD from the accident.... Loosing teeth is traumatic and 4 at front is real bad.
When I had teeth pulled I found it really traumatic - and mine where at the back!.....
having such a bad facial injury must be horrendous for poor boy.
Get a sick note for him.

Also sick of people expecting more from children than they would of adults. Adults can self certify for a week and then, as others have said, get a GP note reasonably easily.

All of the "no reason at all" people on the thread saying he should suck it up and be (physically?) forced into school, I could bet my bottom dollar none of them would go to work unable to write, in pain, and missing all their main teeth. There is absolutely no way I'd go to work in that state and I wouldn't expect a 12 year old child to be more resilient than an adult.

I'm a teacher and I wouldn't expect to see a child in school in this state.

Those are pretty nasty injuries, lacerations to the face, missing teeth, broken bones. And yes, we know kids are meant to wear helmets, but they don't, and I never did when I was a kid. He got busted up. That does happen. And now he's feeling sorry for himself, can't sleep properly, can't eat properly, etc. Perfectly understandable.

Send them anything you've got from the hospital, say you're a bit upset by the lack of pastoral care ... Strange question, but can your son actually do the general stuff, like his flies so he can go to the toilet? If not, simply ask the school how they're going to manage it.

Wtf, who put schools in charge can you get a sick note off the doctor, poor kid. Broken teeth and wrist in pain and bruised, I would be off work with that and I'm self employed ie no sick pay.

Is it because of the teeth? Appearances are important to kids.

My original comment was to say he was having a few days and you would review from there. As your post was made today, even if you had done that you have obviously assessed today and determined he needs more recovery time.

Just seen your updates which say more about his teeth and that he also had mild concussion.

Just leaving the NHS advice here https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/head-injury-and-concussion/

Found this regarding tooth extraction - but take into account that your sons was not a standard extraction, and involved multiple teeth.

Be interested to know if those saying he should of home back to school on Monday would have gone back to work themselves.

Just out of curiosity as he seems a bit old at 12 for a children’s scooter, is this one of those electric scooters? You know, the ones that everyone with half a brain knows are illegal and cannot be used without insurance and a license? The ones parents still keep buying for their children even though they know they can be confiscated by the police and it is not legal to ride them? Those kind of scooters? Just curious that’s all.

Um...get up earlier.

completEly agree! A broken wrist nearly on the mend maybe but all the damage to his face and shock of the accident makes it so much worse

could you take photos of his face and make sure you save all details / take notes on medical appointments and later on you can request authorised absence- you can say it was a shock for you too

If he is indeed struggling as much as you say, then you ask for evidence from your doctor to say this and submit it to school. They will then have no choice but to record it as authorised.
There isnt a half way house here, if he is still in shock/concussed/suffering from the trauma/experiencing a lot of pain i would be back and forth with medical help to ensure his recovery.

Your original post just sounded like a rant at the school because they are chasing you because you "cant get him in"

There is a difference to being well enough physically and mentally and refusing to not being well enough physically and mentally. If he is struggling as much as you go on to elaborate, get him seem tomorrow and get it in writing the things he is suffering with, just as you have to do with a dentists appointment etc. Schools need evidence. You ringing uo clearly isnt cutting the mustard long term, they need evidence.

Unfortunately governments have made it so schools act in this manner. Hounding pupils for attendance because it is limiting factors for ofsted and funding. No teacher wants a child who is unwell physically or mentally in their class because the child won't learn. Its the way the system is geared that means a tactless emotionless viewpoint is taken on attendance

12 is not too old for a scooter. Scooters were popular with teens when my kids were teenagers. DD2 still has hers, and she's 19. She won't let me donate it because she is adamant she'll use it again.

www.skates.co.uk/products/blunt-envy-colt-s6-complete-stunt-scooter-black

Just curious that’s all.

Yeah, sure you are

Madness what kids have to go through 😔
Let him have a week off to heal and get his teeth done
Bizaare that adults are allowed sick days but kids aren't

nope its this scooter https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/outdoor/scooters/stunt-scooters/blindside-1200-stunt-scooter/p/186592

I honestly cannot understand this country’s obsession with attendance (i live in the UK but was raised in another European country). My parents would never send me ill, we would go on holidays during school term and I even remember not going to school for a day or two because I got a new book that I really wanted to read. Guess what, I ended up with two degrees and a professional qualification.

Don’t worry OP, people on this thread who say ‘oh he’s fine, he should go to school’ are absolutely mental and I feel really sorry for their children. The kid is 12 and he’s missing FOUR front teeth ffs. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks, let him recover, there’s zero chance I’d be showing up at work without my front teeth.

It’s not the first thread where the attendance police would be sending a child without an arm to school. ‘There’s absolutely no reason for him not to’. Bonkers.

What difference would that make to the question the OP has asked?

It wouldn't change the injuries or how her son feels.
The original post says he was at a skate park. My guess would therefore be that it was a stunt scooter rather than an electric one( which as you say are illegal to be used other thsn on privateland with permissionfrom the landowner). .

He’s had to have his front teeth pulled out. Imagine being 12 - I wouldn’t want to go in either.

I can remember one of my friends coming to school with a broken arm. She couldn't eat, so we had to feed her her lunch. This went on for about 6 weeks. It was not an issue.
They made em tough in my day

Did she also have a concussion, facial trauma, and no front teeth? I imagine these things are causing OP's son more pain and distress than his wrist.

This is why i said if you think he needs to be home, then you need to tell school to mind their own fucking business (politely of course)

I would be keeping him off for the week to have more time to recover, learn to sleep with the cast, for his mouth to heal and him learn to eat minus his teeth.

I would be telling the school in no uncertain terms they can record his absence however the hell like but he isn't coming in until i'm happy he is well enough to be there and cope, and that as his parent, that is MY decision, not theirs.

In the mean time i'd be asking them to talk through what they can do when he does come back to support him being able to work.

Not familiar with british schools but it sounds absolutely ridiculous. An injured child should stay at home and rest to allow his body to heal.

its not a case of not us getting up early and again that doesn't answer my question on how I'm supposed to get a 12 year old to school, he's not 2, i cant just get him dressed and pick him up and carry him to the car

having had family experience losing front teeth. Some info for the ignorant.

No dentist will be able to really do anything until any facial/gum swelling has gone down. He'll likely need fitting with a plate with false teeth on in the short term, and implants later... that means impressions need to be made, which to save money, is best left until the mouth has settled.