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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man in ladies swimming pool showers with his phone out.

82 replies

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:25

Today, after my daughters had their swimming lesson, I went to the ladies showers. There used to be separate changing rooms for men and women, but both changing areas are now unisex. There is one shower block at the end of what used to be the ladies changing rooms. These are still for ladies only. There is another shower block for men.

A man and his son, who I hadn’t seen at the pool before, ended up in the ladies showers. I have seen mothers helping their sons in these showers before, but I also think the man may have not realised that these are for women.

Anyway, the man was standing in the shower block, with his phone in his hand.

Now, there is a corridor that leads to the showers, but he was literally right in the shower area, maybe a foot from where the water was spraying. I realised because a mum friend of mine took her daughter out of the showers immediately, whilst her hair still had soap in it. She told me she alerted the swimming pool front desk staff.

I understand that this is likely completely innocent, but AIBU to not understand why a man, or anyone for that matter, would deem it appropriate to have their phone out whilst in close proximity to young children showering?

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 24/02/2026 21:27

Why do you think it's innocent. What innocent reason would a man have to have his phone out in the female showers?

Calendulaaria · 24/02/2026 21:27

No reasonable, decent man would have a phone out in these circumstances

BlueMum16 · 24/02/2026 21:27

If these were Swim England learn to swim lessons then mobiles are banned in the changing and pool areas. There should be signs up that you can point to.

Speak to the venue.

Eyesopenwideawake · 24/02/2026 21:28

Let's see...taking a call, making a call, reading or sending a message, checking his emails, watching the news, looking at the weather forecast, scrolling FB....

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:29

He could just be a dad waiting for his son to finish showering and whilst waiting scrolling through his phone to kill a bit of time

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:29

I’ve checked and the signs just say “no photography or filming in this area”.

OP posts:
CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:30

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:29

He could just be a dad waiting for his son to finish showering and whilst waiting scrolling through his phone to kill a bit of time

This is what I think. But it’s totally tone deaf at best, to be scrolling on a phone in a girls shower block. He was already giving me a weird vibe tonight, then this happened. I thought I was being judgemental so had a word with myself. Then the shower thing happened!

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 24/02/2026 21:30

I think I'd have said very loudly "hi, this is the ladies' shower room" and judged his innocence/lack thereof by his response. If an innocent mistake, he'd surely apologise profusely and skedaddle.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 24/02/2026 21:32

He sounds like a complete twat, I’d have asked him why he was there. And I’ve also have asked him why he had a phone in an area with a sign saying specifically not to!

Brefugee · 24/02/2026 21:33

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:30

This is what I think. But it’s totally tone deaf at best, to be scrolling on a phone in a girls shower block. He was already giving me a weird vibe tonight, then this happened. I thought I was being judgemental so had a word with myself. Then the shower thing happened!

I'd have asked him. What he was doing at the women's end and why he had a phone.

Loudly.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 24/02/2026 21:33

takealettermsjones · 24/02/2026 21:30

I think I'd have said very loudly "hi, this is the ladies' shower room" and judged his innocence/lack thereof by his response. If an innocent mistake, he'd surely apologise profusely and skedaddle.

Or this the ladies shower room and also cameras are not allowed.

SabrinaThwaite · 24/02/2026 21:35

Eyesopenwideawake · 24/02/2026 21:28

Let's see...taking a call, making a call, reading or sending a message, checking his emails, watching the news, looking at the weather forecast, scrolling FB....

Nope.

Most pools ban phones in changing areas for safeguarding reasons.

Datafan55 · 24/02/2026 21:35

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:30

This is what I think. But it’s totally tone deaf at best, to be scrolling on a phone in a girls shower block. He was already giving me a weird vibe tonight, then this happened. I thought I was being judgemental so had a word with myself. Then the shower thing happened!

If people give us weird vibes, it's usually for a reason.

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:38

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:30

This is what I think. But it’s totally tone deaf at best, to be scrolling on a phone in a girls shower block. He was already giving me a weird vibe tonight, then this happened. I thought I was being judgemental so had a word with myself. Then the shower thing happened!

It might be tone deaf but doesn’t make him guilty of what people on here will presume he is or was trying to do. Maybe he felt it better to keep his head in his phone rather than looking around a shower area with young girls walking about. You said you’d never seen him before and that the changing rooms are now mixed…. Maybe he’s not familiar with the place and thought the showers were also unisex?

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 21:45

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:38

It might be tone deaf but doesn’t make him guilty of what people on here will presume he is or was trying to do. Maybe he felt it better to keep his head in his phone rather than looking around a shower area with young girls walking about. You said you’d never seen him before and that the changing rooms are now mixed…. Maybe he’s not familiar with the place and thought the showers were also unisex?

thats why I have given him the benefit of the doubt. But I do think, in this day and age, an adult should know that this isn’t appropriate.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 24/02/2026 21:52

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:29

He could just be a dad waiting for his son to finish showering and whilst waiting scrolling through his phone to kill a bit of time

Why are he and his son in the female showers?

Theroadt · 24/02/2026 21:58

Frankly I wouldn’t use a pool that had only mixed changing area and I definitely wouldn’t allow my children to either.

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 22:01

Theroadt · 24/02/2026 21:58

Frankly I wouldn’t use a pool that had only mixed changing area and I definitely wouldn’t allow my children to either.

They are individual cubicles, just like at most pools. They just used to have two segregated areas. They don’t now because there was too much congestion at swimming lessons, as it was mainly mums taking their children in. There literally weren’t enough cubicles, so they made both areas unisex, but as I said, with individual cubicles.

OP posts:
SabrinaThwaite · 24/02/2026 22:09

I would raise it with the pool’s duty manager - there needs to be better signage as to male / female shower areas and they definitely need to enforce the mobile phone policy as that is a safeguarding issue, especially as you’ve said it’s during children’s swimming lessons.

WaltzingWaters · 24/02/2026 22:15

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:29

He could just be a dad waiting for his son to finish showering and whilst waiting scrolling through his phone to kill a bit of time

He could be. But completely and utterly stupid to do that whilst in a shower block. Yes, he’s probably and hopefully just a clueless idiot and it’s an innocent mistake, but it’s majorly inappropriate and hopefully he’ll be told never to do that again.

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 22:18

WallaceinAnderland · 24/02/2026 21:52

Why are he and his son in the female showers?

Unfamiliar with the changing rooms, they’re unisex so maybe think the showers are?

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 22:20

WaltzingWaters · 24/02/2026 22:15

He could be. But completely and utterly stupid to do that whilst in a shower block. Yes, he’s probably and hopefully just a clueless idiot and it’s an innocent mistake, but it’s majorly inappropriate and hopefully he’ll be told never to do that again.

If he wasn’t on his phone and was looking around the changing room instead I’m sure people would also have something to say about that, he can’t win

CreativeNative · 24/02/2026 22:22

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 22:20

If he wasn’t on his phone and was looking around the changing room instead I’m sure people would also have something to say about that, he can’t win

He could always just talk to/help his son?

OP posts:
WaltzingWaters · 24/02/2026 22:38

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 22:20

If he wasn’t on his phone and was looking around the changing room instead I’m sure people would also have something to say about that, he can’t win

if he needs to be in the changing area he should be helping his son or at least talking to him. If not he could wait outside.

whereisitnow · 24/02/2026 22:42

Coconutter24 · 24/02/2026 21:29

He could just be a dad waiting for his son to finish showering and whilst waiting scrolling through his phone to kill a bit of time

And being totally and utterly thick, presumably.

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