To be concerned about a really girl heavy school class?

[MsFrumble]

My son’s in Reception and has had a decent start. We’re mostly happy with the school, except one thing: his class has six boys and sixteen girls. The other two classes are also girl-heavy, though less extreme. The head acknowledges it’s unusual but won’t mix classes unless big problems arise.

He does play with girls outside school—but realistically as kids get older, friendships often become more single-sex and the pool of potential male friends is small. If there’s a falling out, or if the boys all focus on one thing he’s not into, it could be tricky.

I’m wondering: would other parents be concerned about a big gender imbalance? Has anyone had experience with very girl- or boy-heavy classes, and how did it affect their child?

Most schools have spaces this year, so would it make sense to move him now in case problems crop up later? There’s another nearby school with a great ethos and a more balanced year group, but at the moment he is broadly okay where he is

He plays with the girls because kids do that anyway until they are a lot older. My kid is in year 8 and has a party (13th Birthday) this weekend. It will be the first all boy one he's had and it's an activity we're doing with just 6 kids.

I have girl / boys twins … trust me a girl heavy class is an asset for you. It’s the boy heavy classes I would consider not a great idea.

What I think is that a boy growing up with two mothers and at least one of them is articulate, educated and thoughtful (and I’d imagine the other one probably is too) is at an advantage whatever his schooling looks like.

Leaving your petty insults and need to be sarcastic to one side, it’s realistically pretty unlikely he’s going to have a negative view of women with such a role model, even if she didn’t have a female partner as his other parent. But classes that heavily lean to one side or another can be problematic, especially if your child isn’t on the more populous side.

I thought this was going to be a thread about over weight children.

OP honestly it’s not a thing to worry about.

My daughter’s class had 20 girls and 9 boys. Those boys were prized as friends by the girls and the whole group played together in mixed groups right up to year 6. They were a great class that teachers loved because they were well behaved but also quite diverse in their interests.

I work with a class that have a similar split but boy heavy and behaviour is hard work! It’s nice to have an even mix but not essential, children find their own friends and they generally aren’t bothered what sex they are until a lot older than Reception.

Then he makes friends with the girls? What do you think will happen?! Kids make friends with whoever is around; I don't think it matters whether they are boys or girls in primary school.

From our experience, it doesn't matter whether there's a more even split of boys and girls in the class. The boys start becoming ratbags in year 4 and get progressively worse. DS hates it (the noise, the bad behaviour, the bullying, the cliqueyness and obsession with fads) and is friends with all the girls instead. (Not sure why you think that would be a bad thing? Girls still play active games, chat etc. Of course, not all girls are pleasant, just like not all boys become shits, but just because he plays with girls, doesn't mean he's cut off from playing football, talking about sport, reading quietly, sitting and chatting etc.)

And your comment about your son feeling behind because girls mature at a faster rate is just ridiculous. He will mature alongside his peers. They will raise him up (if necessary) instead of a bunch of boys dragging him down and him feeling he's got to copy their poor behaviour to fit in.

I can see your dilemma but a word of warning, my son’s class in primary was the other way, two thirds of his class were boys and it was a bit of a nightmare. Not for my son but some boys used to gang up on others and bullied them horrendously.

Sorry, haven't RTFT, but you may find that there are new joiners to the class as the years go on. My DD started reception in a lovely class of just 21. She's now in year 5 and the class has steadily increased to 30 😒 One September, five(!) new children joined. There's been a few leave as well (including one join in year 3, then leave this year, and one leave, come back, then leave again!), but they're soon replaced with others.

It's crazy, I don't know if other schools and areas have the same level of movement? When I was at primary school in the 80s/90s, I think over my entire time there, we had three new joiners (taking the class from 24 to 27).

A class of 22 with mostly girls? Our sons can swap if you like! 🫣😅

Seriously though my sons oversubscribed class of 30 is 50% boys and girls and unfortinately it's the boys that are the most disruptive in class. I'm sure yours will have friends (and having more female friends is no bad thing) and you can always join cubs or other clubs outside of school if you want him to make more friends. Xx

We had similar but there have been quite a few kids leave and join so it did end up a lot more balanced. The year after was the opposite, 20 boys and 6 girls - that was a lot more trouble by all accounts!

My daughter is in a class where boys make up most of the class. She is always complaining about the noise of the boys and even some of her Teacher's in previous years have agreed it's very noisy. Over the years the girls have been put beside some of the noiser boys to keep them in check. My daughter is aiming to go to an all girls school after Primary School!

You are right to be concerned. It's slightly different but my son is in a small class and is very different from all the other boys, so is isolated.
Wonder why the school has split the boys across all the classes rather than maybe just across 2 of them to get a better balance.

I think you are being concerned about something which probably won’t happen. If it does, the suggestions such as joining Beavers are good ones.

Hardly the imbalance in Derry Girls!

It's unusual, but 6 is still enough that they have some choice of friends. You may also find that the class friendships are a little less gender-bound than usual. DD went through KS2 in a mixed friendship group, and again from year 9.
If the classes are only on 22, I'm guessing they may get merged into 2 classes instead of 3 later on anyway, and there is scope for moves if there are any major issues.

I did hear of one village primary which had ended up with all boys in one year group - I think once it got very low everyone moved their girls to the next village over. Best not to start the exodus...

This is such an odd post. Really..

Why?

Behaviour in the classroom will likely be better than an even split or boy heavy class... meaning more focus on learning rather than behaviour by all.

Sad but very, very true in my experience.

Behaviour in girl heavy classes I've taught have been much better, boy heavy classes are a nightmare!

My son is in a girl heavy class, moved him from a different school, he's much happier and much better off.

My DS was in a primary school class with 6 boys and 12 girls. It wasn’t an issue at any stage and had some lovely female friends throughout primary. Once he went to secondary, things evened out a lot and he made lots of new male friends with whom he is still close, even though he’s now at university.

My twins are in a class with 6 girls and 18 boys. I won't lie, it does somewhat bother me as I worry my daughter does not have a diverse enough range of friends – so many boys in the class also makes it a behavioural challenge at times.

However, I have to agree that you (and I) are inventing an issue. My daughter is completely happy with her friendships, and there are always always boys and girls who split off into playing with 'the boys' or 'the girls'. The class is in yr 4 now and the girls have 2-3 boys that regularly hang out with the girls and vice versa.

The girls, being so few of them, are really tight knit, despite having different interests and personalities.

I’d absolutely love this tbh… my poor girls are in a very “boy heavy” year and continually experiencing aggression/bullying/disruptive behaviour that is all too easily written off as being a result of the “boy heavy” classes. I appreciate this is a very specific to our particular school, and part of broader behaviour management issues, but honestly most of the problems seem to arise from the boy heaviness… be careful what you wish for!

BringBackCatsEyes - I hear you. 2 boys and it's really opened my eyes to all that is said about them. And I'm an ardent feminist. I actively told my two sons to ignore all the toxic masculinity chat at school and by the teachers. I taught them - there are lovely men / boys and lovely women / girls and not so nice men and not so nice women. I also hated that Adolescence - a fictionalised drama was used as a teaching tool. Don't get me started 😅

Unlike other posters I can actually see why the OP is raising this. It's super important for kids (of both sexes to have enough same sex options as friends). We had this a little bit in girl heavy classes. There are lots of friendship shifts. If you have more choice it's better in my opinion. Some kids at a young age prefer same sex friendships. They change of course but it can be quite a marked preference for some. One ds of mine super male orientated. Likes girls now (!) but has been a boy's boy for a long time when younger. Obviously it can work out brilliantly in some situations but nicer if there are options when friendship groups shift (as they often do).

Christ on a bike

This is my experience. I had a (small!) class of 4 girls and 11 boys and my god it aged me 20 years. The girls were the quiet, studious type who enjoyed doing work and the boys were the complete opposite, with 3 of them waiting for au/dhd assessments. Lovely boys but it was like Jurassic Park most days, I really understood why girls perform better in single sex schools.

It's crazy the difference a few kids can make to a class isn't it!? I had one boy heavy class who were like popcorn, one would get dysregulated and set all the others off! That was a hard year!