To be concerned about a really girl heavy school class?

[MsFrumble]

My son’s in Reception and has had a decent start. We’re mostly happy with the school, except one thing: his class has six boys and sixteen girls. The other two classes are also girl-heavy, though less extreme. The head acknowledges it’s unusual but won’t mix classes unless big problems arise.

He does play with girls outside school—but realistically as kids get older, friendships often become more single-sex and the pool of potential male friends is small. If there’s a falling out, or if the boys all focus on one thing he’s not into, it could be tricky.

I’m wondering: would other parents be concerned about a big gender imbalance? Has anyone had experience with very girl- or boy-heavy classes, and how did it affect their child?

Most schools have spaces this year, so would it make sense to move him now in case problems crop up later? There’s another nearby school with a great ethos and a more balanced year group, but at the moment he is broadly okay where he is

Well, when he's older and a (presumably) white male ruling the world I'm sure it will have done him some good in early childhood to play with girls

My life

If you’re concerned have him doing something with more boys out of school like football and if still worried move him.

Mother of two boys and ex teacher here. I would be concerned about this and don’t think you’re unreasonable to consider it.

it’s fine to say ‘he’s five, let him play with everyone’ but he won’t stay 5 and gender based interests do come into play by 7 and up. My boys did Beavers, Cubs, football and swimming and never really made friends from those groups. Pals, yes, but never close friends. Same with neighbours’ children - yes, they played but the age range was too wide as they got older. Their friends came from primary.

I would speak to the head teacher. It’s unusual these days not to mix classes to change the dynamic - why wouldn’t he consider doing this in future years? It widens everyone’s experience.

And before I get slammed for not encouraging inclusivity, that would be ideal but I just don’t see it in real life.

My daughter's class is the opposite. Very few girls and she has really struggled friendship wise over the years. Doesn't help that she only has brothers, male cousins and male neighbours! Poor child! She has only 2 years left in primary and I wish I had moved her sooner.

Sounds great! Most of the boys in my sons class are bloody wild. 22 in a class a nice small class sound lovely. Yabvu

He’s got two mums and a sister, if / when he ends up ruling the world, I expect he’ll be doing it from a position of some awareness about the perspectives of women and girls

It’s similar in some ways to schools which have a lot of children from a particular ethnic background.

I work in a school where the majority of children are of Asian Pakistani heritage and I wouldn’t send my children there, not because I don’t value diversity but it would limit their friendships enormously and that is a big part of school, especially primary school.

We had this huge imbalance too. I have two sons. The first had mostly boys, the second mostly girls. The first class was horrendous. The second ran like a dream.

Most people don't get a choice to be fair. It all depends on the birth rate for the school your applying for. Most people end up having to send their child to their catchment. Esp secondary school you will be lucky where we live to get a space at a school other than catchment as the good schools are always over subscribed

Controversial but id say he will probably fare better as girls tend to be more sensible and mature when they are younger so the class will be quieter......its later on around age 10/11 girls tend to get more.....sassy 🤭

At the moment, many do as birth rates have plummeted in the 2020s.

I understand this point. Had it with my daughter in Year 3, very small group of girls in her class all of whom had been together since Reception.

My experience of it is that from Reception to Year 2 end, children tend to play together more. Big class parties are a thing and groups are far more mixed.

Year 3 onwards, school teams and sport becomes more gendered, football in the playground at breaks is common for boys and the girls do other activities. Plus the classes mix more for different activities for precisely this reason, kids are sent to different classrooms to change for PE for example, and then taught separately unless its an activity which is unisex.

So I'd leave him where he is, he's happy and settled. Just keep an eye.

I understand this point. Had it with my daughter in Year 3, very small group of girls in her class all of whom had been together since Reception.

My experience of it is that from Reception to Year 2 end, children tend to play together more. Big class parties are a thing and groups are far more mixed.

Year 3 onwards, school teams and sport becomes more gendered, football in the playground at breaks is common for boys and the girls do other activities. Plus the classes mix more for different activities for precisely this reason, kids are sent to different classrooms to change for PE for example, and then taught separately unless its an activity which is unisex.

So I'd leave him where he is, he's happy and settled. A good school will mix the classes up anyway to do clique busting every year or other year through primary. Just keep an eye.

Sure sure, but the flip side of that is that he could start to feel like he is the loud, immature, wriggly, behind one in a class where the standard is being set by 16 sensible, mature, focused girls….

I did NCT with DS.

There were only two boys born - five girls. And the other boy mum drifted away quite quickly, so when we meet up it’s five girls and DS. And this definitely happens, even though not all the girls are ‘typical’ if you like.

Why would he be loud, immature and wiggly? Boys aren't always like that. It may help having more mature children around him. Granted not all girls are mature and want to sot either, but usually in primary they stereotypically are more than boys.
He might make some lovely friendships, my two daughters had lovely friendships with boys up until about y5.
Young children aren't bothered by gender, its about personality and interests

It makes very little difference. Some Reception years are boy heavy and others girl heavy. The children will mix at break and lunchtime.

“Sweet we’re moving you schools because if you fall out with the boys there won’t be any more options” that bodes well with his treatment of women in the future if he’s taught women aren’t worthy of his friendship.

Is there dad in his life? That’s more of an issue than not enough boys in his class

Because as you said girls tend to be more sensible and mature at that age. So in a class that is predominantly girls, the standards of sensibleness and maturity will be higher, and he’s going to potentially feel behind.

It’d be like the difference between a kid getting into grammar school, but being right at the bottom of the class VS that same kid going to a comp and being top of the class. They might rise to the occasion in the grammar and benefit from the peer group OR their self-esteem might take a battering and they might feel like they were constantly struggling.

Our local village school has 1 boy and 7 girls in year 3. Thats just how it is.

Have you missed the OP is in a same sex relationship?

I would imagine he will treat women with a hell of a lot more respect than you do, given that you spend your days patronising women on MN and speaking to us like blathering idiots. We aren’t

I wouldn’t do anything rash before there’s even an actual problem. You could move him to a school with much worse things to worry about. My son had equal boy and girl friends at primary school anyway, you don’t know how it’s going to pan out at this point.

It might be, but I wouldn’t want my son in that year - and my DS does go to a very small village school.

Being in same sex relationship doesn’t excuse seeing girls as not an option, which were OPs exact words, you might think it does I guess.