To be concerned about a really girl heavy school class?

[MsFrumble]

My son’s in Reception and has had a decent start. We’re mostly happy with the school, except one thing: his class has six boys and sixteen girls. The other two classes are also girl-heavy, though less extreme. The head acknowledges it’s unusual but won’t mix classes unless big problems arise.

He does play with girls outside school—but realistically as kids get older, friendships often become more single-sex and the pool of potential male friends is small. If there’s a falling out, or if the boys all focus on one thing he’s not into, it could be tricky.

I’m wondering: would other parents be concerned about a big gender imbalance? Has anyone had experience with very girl- or boy-heavy classes, and how did it affect their child?

Most schools have spaces this year, so would it make sense to move him now in case problems crop up later? There’s another nearby school with a great ethos and a more balanced year group, but at the moment he is broadly okay where he is

Girl-heavy*. Punctuation matters.

It took me several goes to realise what your title meant

It is worth thinking about. One of mine was in a class with just 5 boys. The school did do a reshuffle in year three but there was still only 7 boys.
It wasn’t really an issue for DS until about year 5 when the majority of girls seemed to suddenly be “eww boys” and the class games they’d enjoyed previously stopped.
Compared to my other three DC who had more mixed classes he seems to have less play dates and party invites. This could be personality as well though as he doesn’t really like having friends round.

Yea my point is, that if there is a really small group of boys, it’s more likely there will be a single dominant culture / way of being boys - because they will probably all play together and because of peer pressure. Now that could be great, because the ethos in this one group could be really positive, but if it isn’t and four of the six boys all get really into violent gaming or football mania or something, my boy won’t have many other examples / options. It’s important for boys and girls to see that there are lots of different ways to be a girl / boy / woman / man no?

Whereas if there were twelve boys, they might be in smaller friendship groups, and he could flit between the football lads and the art lads, or whatever…

DS school is the same. It’s more disruptive if it’s a boy heavy cohort. But no, I wouldn’t move him. He has a mix of boy and girl friends.

Why are all these classes so small? I think that's the part to focus on! Only 22 kids in a class, that's a dream!

Im sure I read somewhere (years ago) that academically girls do better in single sex classes, and boys perform better in mixed classes.

My daughter's class is the opposite - 22 boys and 8 girls. I do feel like the boys are allowed to dominate which I'm not really happy with, but not so unhappy I'd move her to a different school. Our school does do some things, such as banning ball games on the playground on set days each week to give the girls a chance to use the space.

The main difficulty we've had is that if the girls fall out with each other there aren't many alternatives, which does lead to more squabbles than if there was a greater pool of female friends to choose from.

Outside of school, we've put her in Brownies and Guides to make sure she gets some girl-only time.

My son( now in his 30s) went through the whole of primary school in a class of 20 boys and 5 girls. Lots of people were worried about whether that would mean the boys were more badly behaved and whether it would be hard for the girls.

What actually happened was that although the girls were friends with each other they were also good friends with the boys. I often had groups of the boys and a couple of girls coming round to play snooker etc.

The class was no more badly behaved than any other equally balanced group of children. But it was in an area where behaviour issues in class were extremely rare anyway.

When they got to secondary school it evened out but some of those girls stayed in the mostly male friendship group all the way through school, university, marriages etc and still come to regular friends' meetups.

So I don't think an imbalance of the sexes at primary school matters at all.

Well hence why we’re thinking about the possibility of moving him once, early on, so that if we did he’d then be in once school for the next six years of primary

What a depressing thread.
Surely all this “typical for boys/girls” stuff which is detrimental to the whole class needs to be addressed.
Wild boys? Screaming and cliquey girls?
They all need an environment where they can learn.
Pipe dream I suppose.

There were three girls in my daughter’s class when she started. New ones have joined over the years, but there’s still only 6.

He’ll be ok, and actually the girls in my daughter’s class are really close because of it. And they play with the boys too!

He doesn’t need to be moved for an imaginary problem

Weird concern.

When I was in primary school my three best friends were all boys because the four of us all went on the same school bus from our village. I have no idea what the gender balance of the class was but it didn't make any difference -- those were my mates!

Such an odd take at a time when most men can't relate to women on a very basic human level. Sounds faintly as though you are scared being caring, empathetic and thoughtful might rub off on him, which you don't see as desirable male traits?

Obviously. But as they get older and further up the school the trend tends to be for kids to play more in single sex groups than in mixed ones. It’s pretty well documented.

I’m not saying that’s the way it ‘should’ be, just that that’s the way it usually is.

I also agree. I taught Primary for over 30 years and my most difficult class had 6 girls and 23 boys and my dream class had 7 boys and 22 girls!

Well, yes, but unless your son is kept in a bubble for every other second of his life when not at school then he's going to see plenty of other 'ways to be a boy/man'.

Move him if it's going to help you relax, but you are being a bit ridiculous. The idea that your son is going to go through life thinking there is only one way to be a man because at primary school all his friends liked football/the ninja turtles/dance is quite mental!

Currently in year 3 of a 5 girl 16 boy year group and it honestly isn’t even something that enters my head any more, all the kids still play together, girls sit with boys, girls sit with girls. The girls are a nice group but 1 or 2 of them play better with the boys. Such a none issue

It's definitely a benifit for him to be learning amongst a girl heavy class. My son is in Y1 and the girls are much better behaved and seem to be better academically (reading the writing) probably due to their attention span!

At the last parent/teacher evening all the boy mums im friends with had similar feedback around lacking concentration, listening, slow to start tasks and stay on task etc. You can see it in assemblies, all the girls know the words and actions to all the songs and the boys are staring at the ceiling

At 11+the Head suggested DD should go to the local all girls school. She said no thanks but she'd go to the all boys school as boys are nicer. Just her experience of a very nasty group of girls, four very dominant, two just went along for a quiet life and DD as their target.

I understand your concerns but academically boys do better on girl heavy classes as a generalisation.

I would monitor and see how it goes. You cant predict that there will be problems with friendships. Your worrying about somehting that hasn't even happened

Both mine have been in very skewed year groups at different stages. DS had 15 boys and 6 girls from R-4 and Dd was one of 28 girls with only 11 boys from Y4-6. The problem is that it can be self fulfilling because if a child leaves then often a parent will decline the place if their child will be in a significant minority so they replace with another of the majority sex- eg DD’s class was about 24- 15 but then every time a boy left they were replaced by a girl and soon the boys barely had a football team. And yes, also makes friendships tricky if you get below around 10 in a class.

Maybe just maybe the school environment isn’t suited to the boys then. ALL of them lack concentration?

Eugh…Mum of 2 boys (26 and 16) and really fed up that boys are STILL getting labelled this way.

Probably the biggest regret of my life that I didn't move DD to a school with more girls. The small group of girls was toxic but I have no idea if it would be an issue the other way round.

Because it’s London and the birth rate is falling and some people are being priced out and going elsewhere to have families