To be concerned about a really girl heavy school class?

[MsFrumble]

My son’s in Reception and has had a decent start. We’re mostly happy with the school, except one thing: his class has six boys and sixteen girls. The other two classes are also girl-heavy, though less extreme. The head acknowledges it’s unusual but won’t mix classes unless big problems arise.

He does play with girls outside school—but realistically as kids get older, friendships often become more single-sex and the pool of potential male friends is small. If there’s a falling out, or if the boys all focus on one thing he’s not into, it could be tricky.

I’m wondering: would other parents be concerned about a big gender imbalance? Has anyone had experience with very girl- or boy-heavy classes, and how did it affect their child?

Most schools have spaces this year, so would it make sense to move him now in case problems crop up later? There’s another nearby school with a great ethos and a more balanced year group, but at the moment he is broadly okay where he is

It wouldn't matter to me at all, surely he will mix with the other boys from different classes during breaks and lunch times.

In short - yes I’d probably switch school for Year 1

A choice of 11 other friends is a lot different to a choice of 4.

@whoTFismadelaine well no, because it’s pretty important for all boys to have varied examples of man and boyhood in their peer group, regardless of whether they have two mums, one mum, two dads at home etc. He also has uncles and grandads but realistically kids are heavily influenced by their peers. I could have been a single mum or a dad posting and have the exact same thoughts

You're the only poster who openly assumed I was a straight woman and wanted him to have more boys around him because I was concerned about him somehow imbibing “feminine” traits which I perceived as less valuable.

He may do better academically surrounded by more girls (as boys are shown to do better in mixed sex schools - the opposite of girls) and hopefully will be less biased against women as an adult man due to his depth of exposure and friendships with them.

Also my husband is an adult man with 6 best friends… 5 of them are women. Not everyone turns to same sex friendships as they age.

Some people are just so odd.

Your making a issue out of nothing, very weird post.

Yes in my experience it is a pipe dream and girls and boys sadly all too often fulfill those stereotypes. I’m not a teacher but have plenty of friends and kids of my own.

In this particular case it sounds like rigid thinking from the HT won’t help. “classes don’t mix”/ “we don’t re-mix classes each year unless there’s a huge problem” … that’s an approach that may work when there are 32 bums on seats and about a 50:50 split. But the school roll is shrinking and the HT isn’t adapting - it’s lazy and short-sighted.

The stereotypes are harmful both ways.

My DD (8) mucks about, chats, struggles with concentration sometimes and flits from activity to activity. She also has anxiety about not keeping up, not getting things right, not having good enough handwriting for a pen licence etc and will try to conform. I worry about the anxiety as she is 8. Girls get competitive in a way boys don't as often (my DS never got a pen licence and wasn't at all concerned by it) My DS is the naturally more academic and quieter kid.

Quiet and focus at 4 is not going to be developmentally possible for all kids, it makes me sad that that is the expectation.

Seems like a pretty good news story to me. Mostly girls in class, so likely to be better behaviour, and plenty of boys in his year to play with in the playground. I'd slightly see your point if it was single-class entry, but it isn't, so no problem at all.

I think there are a few things to consider:

• with small class sizes in a 3 form entry primary, it is very likely that the tear group will be re-mixed into 2 classes at sone point (KS2 at the latest, as 2x33 becomes possible at that age; maybe sooner if the tear group size falls to 60 or below over the coming years. The 2 classes would each gave a wider pool of boys.
• the current gender imbalance in school should push you towards more boy-heavy extracurricular activities where you have a choice: Beavers; tag rugby; martial arts, whatever you have locally. Or, if you see a particular ‘type’ of boy dominating in school, actively seek out balance outside school - tennis not football; music not gaming; drama rather than sport, or vice versa.
• seek out and join school clubs where the boys from across the year group mingle, whether that be lunchtime chess or after school multisports.
• rather than move him proactively, keep a watching brief. As a PP says, moving for the start of Y3 is likely to correlate closely with when boy / girl play nay start to develop.

My 9 year old (so year 5) absolutely plays with both boys and girls every day.

Yes my mum was a primary teacher for 40 years and I know plenty of teachers, and for the most part they say there is a broadly observable difference in primary, but that it’s mostly down to girls and boys maturing at different rates.

So it’s not that boys ARE inherently loud, wriggly, energetic, lacking in focus. Or that girls ARE calm, quiet, inclined to table based learning. It’s just that school is an artificial environment that rewards / requires kids to be like that, and girls have the ability to conform and act like that from an earlier age.

It’s lovely to think that true friendship will transcend social norms but it doesn’t.

I’d have reservations as well. I actually decided not to send ds to a local primary school due to the small size of the reception class. There are only fifteen in DS’s class which isn’t a lot but it’s still more than the OPs ds has in a much bigger setting!

I would move him. Primary schools are already far too feminine for little boys, this will compound it.

DD was in a class with 2 girls and 13 boys, it has now changed to 4 girls. Honestly, the only problem is the noise in the class because of so many boistrous boys. She didnt have any issues with friendships. The girls all stick together. I would imagine a girl heavy class is much better than a lot of boys 🙈
Shes a social butterfly though, gets along with anyone. I would imagine the boys will just befriend each other when theres not many options.

This is good advice, thanks

My DD has been in a single form entry primary school with up to three times as many boys as girls in her class over the years. She is confident around boys and has lots of female friends including at school in other year groups and outside of school from her sports and other activities. It’s a non issue particularly if they do things outside of school

Maybe the fact that they will be growing up in a class with a big majority of girls will change the ‘normal’ reactions and development of friendships, @MsFrumble?

You could sign your son up to things like Beaver Scouts or a football club with a bigger number of boys in it.

I've never heard such rubbish!!!!😂😂😂

This can sometimes happen in very small classes (though isn’t a given) but with sixteen girls it is unlikely; the girls will get into small groups and the boys will be either one uneasy group or two or three pairs / trios.

DS was in a class with only 6 boys at primary. It was a three-form entry school, so he did see boys from other classes in the playground and knew a few of them because he attended the after-school club. He got on better with some of the boys than with others and had some good friends who were girls. He never really commented on it, just accepted it for how it was and made friends with whoever was available and whoever he got on best with. It was a non-issue.

They did start out with more boys (possibly 10 I think), but a few left (parents getting new jobs out of the area, moving to SEN provision etc) and the spaces got filled with girls. That is the part that you can't control - the make up of a class now is not necessarily what it will be over the full seven years. Children could leave and new children join, or you could make the decision now and move him, only to find the balance at the new school changes over time too. I'd be more inclined to work with what you can control if you feel the balance needs redressing - the extra-curricular stuff.

I’d keep him there if you like the school and he’s happy. Friends wise he’ll do hobbies out of school. Choose more boy heavy hobbies if you feel he needs more male friends. Does he go to squirrels (scouts) or football.

There were 3 times as many boys in my class at primary school than girls.

This is a non-issue.