So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

[cateringday]

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

I don't know, but it was the 1980s so a literal fraction of what I paid for my flat

But the reason I'm saying it is that if you were an ordinary person, you would have struggled with everything.

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't want to be young now.

I'm just very conscious that my parents had struggles as well. We only started switching the heating on for about 30 mins in the evening because I came home from school and didn't want to take my coat off all evening.

A lot of what we have now, in terms of entertainment and food, is the absolute height of luxury compared to what they had

Also, I suppose that's compared to what I had when I was very little, so the period that I don't remember.

I do remember the excitement of getting an orange and an LP for Christmas 😂

i'm amazed at the poster saying you can get property for £100k - didn't think that was possible anywhere in the UK!

I stand corrected :-) @TheCountessofFitzdotterel

I quite agree, if he wasn't having 6 foreign holidays a year including safaris and extreme adventure trips! That and his car expenses travelling everywhere.

I meant within 5 years really but he's never here so I'd rather he had fun and travelled before proper adult life takes over!

It’s really rough.

Care work is almost always looking, in case she has any interest in nursing / medicine / related healthcare professions. Loads of options with different stress levels / people contact / technical expertise. Care work not ideal for most people (hard work and badly paid!) but can be an easy place to start and somewhat relevant experience for various things. Will need further qualifications to progress, of course.

You said she likes coding. Sadly software engineering is difficult to get into without a degree, even then it’s very competitive at the moment. But she can do a lot of learning via free courses online and demonstrate skills with open source contributions. Some AI / programming / stats type skills alongside a main career can potentially make you very useful later on. There are ways in directly just aware the lack of cs degree will restrict things a lot here.

Accounting has been a good choice for a friend of mine who failed uni. Can go via vocational style / on the job training starting as accounts admin assistant or something like that and it’s more varied as a career than I would have expected. Local college might have more info.

As an autistic person myself I find a lot of value in having a clear training and career path to follow, leaves less of the progression down to personal relationships and networking. Impossible to remove that barrier entirely but it helps. Just to note, I got through uni fine but basically fell apart in the transition to adult life. Lack of educational structure and less clear rules / expectations, I didn’t know what I was meant to do. Knew I couldn’t really move home so got into very inappropriate relationship instead because I needed some sense of safety. Not good. Anyway, I suspect it’s normal for autistic people to need longer with that transition.

Vocational training with built in work experience or placements probably worth exploring. Also, dropping out of uni once doesn’t mean she can’t try again. A more vocational course with clearer career purpose might help with motivation. Staying close so she can live at home while studying — well it doesn’t help with your desire to get your house back! but it might help make it less of a transition and easier to stick with. I think for now you have to accept that she needs longer to transition into adult life and plan for a few more years with her at home.

It is not always a good idea to put money in a LISA whilst saving for a house deposit, especially if the property is going to be in London.

This is because you can only use the LISA to buy a property that is worth £450,000 or less, otherwise the money in the LISA is stuck until 60 or you potentially lose all the interest or more to withdraw before 60.

Better to put it in an ISA.

@EmeraldRoulette Because the rates of 5/6% we have recently seen are similar when you account for house values and the proportion of income housing costs take up.

Did my parents have struggles? Of course but it was harder for me and it will be much harder for my dc.

DH and I have owned three houses - every single one has needed work doing to it - none were bought at auction and in all of them we had to make compromises for the first few years, including putting up with crap kitchens and bathrooms and mismatched second hand and donated furniture.

Im really not sure why you think this makes you a unicorn? It’s the norm for many many people.

Move out? They rent. Grotty house shares with strangers paid for with their wages. That’s not always as pleasant as living at home, but that’s how people do it. That’s definitely possible if they work.

Buy? Most who do so have money from family/inheritances. Easier if they have a partner they can do it with. That’s the tricky bit.

Not really - we were 19. I was just starting uni when we bought our first house so part time salary and minimum loan for me and DH was in his first full time entry level job earning not a great deal. We had no financial help from parents beyond them occasionally lending us a couple of £100 every so often which had to be paid back when my loan came in or after payday.

Deposit came from saving for 12 months in my gap year.

I will admit that in hindsight we were very lucky to have bought when we did (1999 so right before prices went mental) but we also sacrificed a lot to do it. We put off travelling and I never really experienced the fun side of uni life as I was generally working or DIYing when I wasn't in lectures.

@BloominNora did you not need your gap year money for funding uni?

I went in the early 00s & my accommodation/rent was funded by my loan. I had to save to afford all the other uni costs.

I moved from Bath to London in 2007, you could probably get a single room in a shared house for £475 zones 1-4, my rent was £800 a month for a large double room in a 2 bed flat, I split the cost with my boyfriend at the time. That was in zone 4. A friend got fed up of the house sharing and got a studio flat in zone 2, was £1,000 a month.

Not really - we were 19. I was just starting uni when we bought our first house so part time salary and minimum loan for me and DH was in his first full time entry level job earning not a great deal.

I would be surprised if a couple in your situation would get a mortgage today. Not least because they would need to take out a tuition fee loan for £9k+ as well as any maintenance loan.

When we did the maths of the cost of halls vs my contribution to the mortgage it didn't work out too badly. We did underestimate some of the bills and costs of running a home and it was a tough few years, but we muddled through.

I was lucky enough that my job in gap year was in the civil service - they allowed me to transfer to the town we moved to, go part time and move my days to fit my timetable, so I was working 22 hours a week with some extra hours when they were available in the holidays.

I had to pick modules based on being able to fit in work hours (which meant a couple of evening lectures to give me daytime working hours) so couldn't always do exactly what I wanted and quite often when my mates were going to the pub after morning lectures, I was jumping on the bus to go to work.

Did you see my next post saying that I was making the point that "everyone moved into a house share" was not true in 2007/2008 outside of London?

They have 10 grand in the bank. Its really not the same for everyone!! Id say that's a bloody good start!! I've never had 10000 in the bank. Id love that

Well it should be a great start shouldn’t it? Thats partly what I mean

I do know what you mean

Maybe it depends where your age bands fall

I would definitely say my parents had it harder than me in other ways. Not in terms of the price of property. And also there were two of them and there's only one of me.

But I got the impression that maybe @cateringday was feeling resentful about it so I just wanted to point that out. I'm not a fan of this intergenerational blame game that sometimes goes on. Most people have had it tough, just in different ways.

Doesn’t everyone rent and houseshare when they’re young? I’ve never heard of anyone moving out of their parents house and straight into a mortgage.

Have you looked at Code First Girls as they can get can qualifications and sometimes guaranteed jobs.

My son bought his own house at aged 20 woth his 21 year old girlfriend. He had around 10k from money saved from him being a baby, but then whilst working and living at home he opened a help to buy Isa (now a Lisa) and saved the maximum in that and got the top up from the Government.
Whilst living at home is the time they should be able to save the most as they have the least outgoings. So he had a good chunk for a deposit and to buy things to furnish the house.
Its a step on to the property ladder and as their wages increase and their house increases in value they can look at moving to a bigger house. It wasn't that difficult.

I moved out at 31 (in the south east). Could have moved out earlier than that if I rented, but met my husband at 21 and we both had the view that we wanted to save and buy. I was lucky my parents were happy to have me (but I always worked, paid them rent, chipped in with the housework). Deposit for our first place was £70k.

Change jobs then. If you can't afford where you live then move where you can. It's not difficult. But everyone wants the magic money tree to help them out instead of taking personal responsibility.

I've had to move across the country many times. Suppose I could have sat and whinged on MN instead right?

Being in the South East is definitely the thing. I'm in the North East. Most of those I went to school with properly moved out (not just to uni) under 25. For those who didn't go to uni, it was under 21. I bought my first house at 23, my brother and his wife bought theirs at 24. That £10k in savings your adult children have would absolutely be a house deposit. My second house only needed a £6k deposit, which was 5% of a £120k 3 bedroom semi in a quiet cul-de-sac (not a posh area, but not rough either). I really feel for young adults living in high cost of living areas because their choice is spending most of their income in rent, or not being able to actually get on with their lives...or moving to the other end of the country where they can afford to live properly, away from all of their support network. I remember working for an employer with a London office and a North East office. Most staff were late 20s to mid 30s. The North East staff were mostly married, a majority had at least one child, all owned houses. The London staff were living with parents, in house shares like students and one had a tiny studio apartment with a partner.

I’m NW .,,that’s exactly what people do here….move out from parents (where they’ve likely lived with. Their partner as well to save up) ….and into first home in their 20s

Mines living back with us in his 30s also in the SE. It’s a nightmare and I’m struggling with it now tbh as I want my home to myself.

Myself and my OH bought our first home together when I was mid 40s 8 years ago. Then DC moved back in so we’ve never had our home to ourselves. If we were married we would have divorced over this.

I’ve told my DC today that they have to move out as I can take anymore.