To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

The people saying to walk faster, look through them, don’t engage. I do all of this. The problem is it’s the long road up to London Bridge station and they will literally walk alongside me talking to me whatever I do. It’s also not a massively busy road so it’s not like I can just dodge off into the crowd. Eventually, when I don’t engage, they’ll call me names or whatever. Why should I learn to ignore this? It’s disgusting.

I agree with you Op, and there is no excuse calling you names. Keep reporting them.

OP I feel like maybe you need an air horn, or a speaker to aim at them with idk music, or a recording of "No! go away!" on repeat or something.
It's clearly intimidating and they are picking on people they think can't do anything back.
Ideally, someone should be doing a panorama on it, or even a tiktok would help.

Just get noise cancelling headphones

I think they must get ignored outright, more than they get people who engage with them. So the rare few of you who do speak to them to say “sorry” or whatever, are just setting yourselves up for failure. The rest of us ignore and carry on as normal, not giving them an opportunity to say any retorts

My problem with chuggers is that their prevalence has opened the door for profit-making "Community Interest companies" like Inside Success and the knife crime one to pose as charities and obtain donations by using the same pressure-sales methods.

Back in the day my home town had a woman in a nun's habit who used to go around the shops rattling a tin around Christmas. She was reputed to be an imposter who performed her scam at Christmas because there were lots of charity collectors in the shopping area at that time of year and people didn't differentiate, just gave all of them a quid or whatever. The Community Interest companies are basically the modern version of that.

You shouldn’t have to put up with this. If they are harassing you or abusing you, report it to the police and the charity (if they’re a proper one). Film them if necessary.

But don’t be nice to these men. Just tell them to fuck off, as brusquely as you have to. They get the message, they trade on women being socialised to “be kind”.

Yeah I agree with you on that. Cics are a bit murky to say the least. Or they can be.

Yes. I think several hundred extra benefits claims is a relatively cheap way of massively improving the areas where they are aggressive and abuse women.

There was a particularly annoying chugger who used to chug outside the McDonald’s in Greenwich on Eltham High Street. He was trying to procure donations for some animal charity. One day, I was coming out of McDonald’s with a bag in my hand, and he tried to reel me in by asking me if I liked animals. I told him, no, not really (the truth), and he had the nerve to point at my bag and say in a sneery tone, “Well, you like eating them, don’t you? Bastard.

I did tell one that asked me if I like animals "Yes, roasted with Yorkshire puddings and gravy." once. Think I'd seen it or similar on a sketch show a few days before so surprised he was asking that question really as I can't have been the first. He wasn't particularly aggressive, though, he just turned away to pester someone else.

Steely shark eyes on full as soon as I see them out the corner of my eye, I stride past like the gestapo, awful fuckers.

I do think that you need to reframe it. This is not about you or your behaviour, it’s about them being arseholes and/or criminals. They don’t care about you and they don’t see you as a human being with feelings. Don’t give any headspace to anything they think or say. Just do what you have to do to get on with your day.

“No, get out of my way.” On repeat. Ignore any backchat and then just forget about them. I guarantee you that they are not giving you a second thought once you have walked by.

Omg if that was me I would have turned around and shouted “ya what? What did you say? Come on say it again! You’re working for a children’s charity let’s hear what you got to say about my children”! I would have said it pretty loudly to draw attention to them and show them up. There is absolutely no way I’d have left that disgusting comment there

One I save for phone scammers, “Is this really what you wanted to do with your life? I think you could do better.”

How does ignoring them not give them the opportunity for retorts?

Various comments I’ve had when I ignored have been ‘wow, you’re really nice aren’t you’, ‘I bet you have lots of friends,’ and ‘don’t be so stuck up.’

Stop victim blaming. I’m not doing anything to deserve or invite these comments

I always have my phone jammed against my ear and am deep in an animated imaginary conversation when walking through streets at risk of having chuggers.

Only once have I had to say to my imaginary friend "Hang on a sec, I just need to tell a chugger to fuck off."

I am, thank you.

I don't see it as gainful employment, you seem to see the chuggers as angelic activists.

Completely agree. Thankfully we don't have this problem where I live, but it's a disgrace that it's allowed to happen anywhere.

I'd be tempted to carry a personal alarm and sound it whenever you are being harassed in this way.

No I just think they have a shit job. Nobody signs up and they make no money. Standing in the rain all day. And everyone hates them.

I haven't said anything about them that makes them sound angelic. It's their employers who are at fault.

When chuggers were still a relatively new thing (so ages ago now) I was accosted by one in central London. He wanted me to sign up for a charity for the blind, so I agreed to a small monthly sum, and went on to give sundry personal details - except for my age and phone number. which I refused because a) I didn’t want them ringing me, and b) it was none of their business,

About a week later I received a letter from the charity, saying they were ‘unable’ to process my ‘application’ without this information!
The cheek of it! Anyone would think I was asking them for money.
The letter went in the bin, but needless to say, the money started coming out of my account anyway.

A lot of people sign up, that's why it's still a trade.

There are other jobs rather than harassing strangers for money.

I had shit jobs when I was young. I didn’t feel the need to make misogynistic or otherwise offensive comments to people I was dealing with. Stop excusing them.

I wouldn’t care if they approached me and when I said no they looked pissed off or whatever. I care about harassment and abuse.

How do you know a lot of people sign up? They're probably on comission only so not even on minimum wage.

It's their employers you should be coming for not the individuals desperate enough to work there. And the charities who employ them.

Obviously if they're not representing a genuine charity then they're a scammer and are an arsehole.

But again they might be being deceived by their employer about the legitimacy of the cause.

I'm not pro chuggers by any means I just don't blame the actual people as much as the system that allows it.

I get this in my city on my lunch break. It is annoying. Charity workers blocking my exit in my town centre is annoying too.

I've just got to the stage where I totally ignore them and block them out, and it is working. I just don't care what they think and I don't see them anymore as I have tuned them out.

What peaked me, and stopped any twinge of guilt I felt at not contributing were 3 things;

1. The first was reading on here to support 2 charities and then don't feel guilty about nor supporting any other. That works for me.

2. The second was this man in my city centre, on my lunch break. He is dressed up as Superman and he hassled me about the charity. As I walked past and ignored him he shouted "don't you want to support disabled kids then?" After this I gave zero shits about any chuggers feelings.

3. They come down my street and knock on my door at night when I have had a long day and commute at work and I am eating my dinner or chilling out. If I see them coming I just ignore the door bell. If they catch me out I just tell them to sling their hook and how dare they disturb me at home.

See above. Stop excusing misogynistic and abusive harassment by individuals. Whatever shit job you have doesn’t excuse that.