Urgent advice needed. Probably going to have to leave.

[lifegonewrong2]

Nc for this. Need some advice. Had a horrible incident tonight where my dh was awful to my son (his stepson, been in his life since ds was a toddler - mostly relationship is good but Dh can’t cope with teenage strops and attitude). Tonight ds was rude and Dh just totally blew up, was intimidating towards him and when I intervened he was awful to me too. Ds went to bed in tears. Dh and I had a horrible row. dh called my son a cunt. I can’t get past it. I know my son isn’t perfect but to hear a grown man speak about him like that is vile.

We have a younger dc together. Dh is the primary earner, I work part time but Dh covers all household costs. We will all wake up here tomorrow and I am thinking I should pack some things and just take the kids to a hotel or something. I don’t know what to do.

My relationship with Dh isn’t perfect but we are mostly ok but I can’t cope with him speaking or treating my son like that. I have no idea what to do next but I can’t be around him or have ds around him.

The child is 14. An adult who should know better, called the child a cunt. This is emotional abuse. The adult and the child are not on an equal emotional footing here. Saying they are guilty of provoking each other is wrong. The child is behaving like a 14 year old, the adult is also behaving like a 14 year old.

Don’t make excuses for your DH’s unacceptable behaviour by sharing the blame with your DC @lifegonewrong2 . The blame squarely lies with your DH.

Having just read the post about your husband's ' banter' leading to the 'shut up' reply - I'm of the view that your husband has potentially got some issues or resentment maybe.- and he needs to grow up and stop the banter which is almost always goading someone.

I do not at all buy this banter word, nor this ' it's just a joke ' , or ' it's only banter ' crap. People intrinsically feel when something hits them from less than loving intent. I'll almost guarantee your son felt that.

You need to speak to your husband. I would end this whole banter stuff and let him know that needs to stop now. If your son says shut up after being told to clean his room well that's something different. Your husband makes me feel like he's a child in a man's body.

Yes I have a child in me often running the show and am working endlessly on recognising those behaviours. Will he do the same? Hope you aren't financially reliant on the guy 🤞🙏,