DH hid betting windfall

[Sarahji]

DH and some of his mates have a weekly betting group where they pick football teams and put them in one big bet where the potential returns are high. He has always said they never win and that the most they’ve ever got back was £120 each.

I have become close with one of his friends partners in the past year or so as our youngest is in the same school year. I saw her at soft play this afternoon, we were discussing our half term weeks and she said they’d gone away as a family. I said we looked and that the prices were really high so we couldn’t find a suitable deal.

She said they only managed it as they (the men) had the ‘win the other week’ and this covered it. I blurted out something which obviously showed I was surprised, as she immediately tried to move the subject on.

I spoke to DH when I got home who confirmed this win. He said he didn’t want to feel he had to spend it on ‘us’ so kept it to himself.

He knew how much the kids and I would have loved a few days away and could have easily put some towards it.

I’ve had the odd unexpected windfall during our relationship and some of it has always been used for his benefit too.

AIBU to feel a bit upset by this?

I keep forgetting it was kept from OP! That makes it all the more shitty

Did it not even occur to him to have a big blow-out with his friends and to buy something for you and the children? No. He kept it secret. He sounds sneaky and mean.

They didn’t go to Bristol and didn’t stay overnight either.

There was about 6 of them and they were doing rounds with a kitty, and by the evening were drinking spirits so the costs added up in his words.

I couldn’t imagine winning £800 and not spending a portion of that (probably most in my case) on my children, whether buying them clothes etc or treating them to a day out /weekend away. Very selfish indeed.

I never understand couples who have children together but separate finances. In our house any money that comes in is "ours". To the point where DH got a costa gift card and I joked "thats our weekend drinks paid for!" not really meaning it. Without missing a beat DH replied that that was exactly his thought - and that he could treat me to a pastry too.
It would never occur to either of us not to share

So you were ‘short’ £3-400 for a family break but he splurged £500 on a night out for himself.
And hid it. You wouldnt know now if his mates wife hadn’t spilled the beans.
Frankly this would give me the permanent ick.
I would never be able to trust a word he says again because he has hidden something quite significant from you.
He is a prize isn’t he. What a twat.

You've been told umpteen times now and Google has proved it. There's no casino. He lied. If there's a strip club, they went there.

I am telling you as a local that it is now a bowling alley called Lane 7 as someone else has said. It opened 2 years ago, in Feb 2023. He is LYING to you.

Do you believe him OP?

I still think people are missing that this was his own fun money and is unlikely to have actually 'won'.
My husband used to do a lottery syndicate at work, £20 a month. This means he spent £240 a year but did he ever bring anything home from any wins...no!! They only ever had small wins which was always put back in the pot for extra lines or they would do a McDonald's lunch order. He did this for several years (only recently stopped) so if the husband in this post has been doing this group bet any length of time it's likely he has spent more than he has seen in returns.

Ah wouldn’t it be the first thing you’d come home & tell your partner to be fair .
I don’t mean to read too much into things , but that would make me feel like I don’t know my partner quite as well as I thought I did .
I definitely wouldn’t like that feeling .

Yes , I don’t think I’ve any reason not to. We don’t live in or near Bath so stopping short of going there myself I’m not sure what I’m meant to do.

He’s sick of me asking about it now anyway.

Don't quite know what to say to you, I live in Bath, have done for 10+ years, and I enjoy a Casino. I know it hasn't been there since Covid times. Google / tripadvisor / the local news will all tell you the same... Completely your prerogative on what you choose to believe!

Trip Advisor only has one review since 2019, which says "Awesome I never lost any money as its closed. Shame as I liked this place closed for covid and never opened again. Great but expressive burgur place and Irish pub next door though"

You do have a reason not to though, people who live there and know the place day to day have explained it did shut permanently and is no longer a casino…

Yeah. It's not there, and there are no others, so he lying about his whereabouts. I can give you a Google map screenshot.

Strange to start a thread about him hiding the money and then ignore the evidence that he's also lied about where it went?

Liars always get angry and want you to drop the subject, its infuriating and understandable to want the truth from your damn husband or life partner.

I’ll show him this once the kids are in bed, thanks

800 quid and he went on a celebratory piss up .. but enough for you to have a take away together.
Absolutely mean shitty selfish behaviour where's his priorities .
Fine if he wanted to treat himself but tell you about the win and treat you aswell.
Selfish bastard.

This is when it was the Casino. Same building obviously.

So he didn't tell you he has won some coin.
He lied about where he got it
How many times has he done this?

He's a lying ,piss taking tight cunt and you can quote me.

I'd be contacting the person who told you and asking where they went me.

Yes, ask that woman who told you about the winnings.

Hang on he's lying about where he went? Something's off, he either went to a strip club or stuck it up his nose.

Ah, yes, that’s the same one I was thinking about then!

I've lived in Bath for 16 years. There definitely isn't a casino in Bath now, it never reopened after the Covid lockdown. The nearest casino is in Bristol.

Good luck with getting to the bottom of this, OP.

He is a selfish git. .he wins £800 and he offers you a takeaway! Not even a day out for you and his kids! Tell him to shove it where the monkey puts its nuts!