To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

[Youllneverseemeagainn]

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

Lol

Yes, obviously, but I was more responding to:

Discussions on pension savings, earnings, careers, private schools, house extensions, holidays, home furnishing, cars, style and beauty, even gardening, will be self-selecting in that they attract more people who have higher disposable income so are interested in and involved in these things so have experience to post.

It comes up often outside of those topics, was my point. I probably used a bad example. It can be on a thread about anything but a large number will mention having high salaries (or commonly that their DH does!)

In fact I do have an example - SAHM threads. Lots of "I never took time out, it was hard but worth it because now I earn £xxx,xxx".

I have never had anyone tell me how tall their sons are. I have never told anyone how tall my 21y is. It’s such a weird thing to talk about. And yes most people think their kids are good looking. Nobody talks about it irl.

But is is sooo niche it s outing…

In real life people have eyes. Why would you need to describe your child who is right there

In real life, I wouldn't mention that I have long hair either. It's pretty obvious

I feel like kayaking probably is a bit outing. Golf, weightlifting, cycling or 5 a side not so much!

I feel that there are a disproportionate number of mumsnetters with very clever children compared to the national average. Mumsnetters' children seem to achieve all 9s at GCSE and all A* at A level.

I'm on here now and I tick some of the boxes OP references.
I do earn over 200k most years. My husband (second marriage) does not and earns approx 50k.
One child at private school.
I do have a cleaner.
I left my first marriage and did several jobs at once to be able to hustle and have a deposit for a house. I have a high mortgage (and don't live in a sizeable property) because of when I bought and where (stayed close to EXH for stability for my children).

I find it frustrating that whenever people speak about earnings or lifestyle people assume posters are lying. In my circle (I went to school in a very deprived area) there is a very broad mix of poverty to extreme wealth.

I'd love to work less and do a simpler role but its not feasible because I need to earn well based on how life has panned out for me.

I recognise people do tell lies and that may be prevalent on some types of threads but the carte blanche dismissal of some folks experiences is disappointing to me.

Sorry but the fact remains that for those of us who don't live in London or one of the really affluent areas of the UK high salaries such as those talked about on MN are niche.

I can understand why people might lie about their salary, but why would anyone lie about how much they pay their cleaner or what they do at Christmas? I'm just asking as I can't imagine why anyone would! (We don't have a cleaner and generally do lots at Christmas as I get overexcited in the run up and then realise in December that we've got loads of stuff booked!)

Because living a fantasy life online probably makes them feel important, or distracts from the miserable lives they lead?

There are lots of Walter Mitty types on the internet and MN's name changing facility positively encourages them.

You lucky lucky woman! 😀

when you see how quickly Christmas events or holidays get sold out, I am not sure why anyone would think people are fibbing anyway.

This is the point: something isn’t “niche” just because it’s not common in your particular circle/ the area you happen to live at present. That isn’t how statistics work. As I said in earlier posts, people’s circumstances change over time, their financial circumstances and where they live changes; lives change for better or worse at different times, it isn’t like we’re forced to live wherever in the UK we are born and never leave.

I’ve lived in both deprived and affluent areas and can’t really understand that just because someone happens to live in one or the other they’d be determined to assert that what happens in their immediate area is “average” for the country as a whole. Even without experiencing anything else or going more than a few miles from your birthplace, just basic awareness of the economic data like I quoted above and is in regular OBR/ ONS reports proves that there’s huge variation. What reason do you have to doubt that this is the case?

It seems just as narrow-minded to me for people in deprived areas to pretend that it’s rare and unbelievable for people to earn salaries that over 7% of the full time working population earn (and that percentage includes all the very young workers just starting out, apprentices, people doing graduate training etc. on low wages at that stage, so for people in their 30s- 60s the percentage will be increasingly higher with age, nearing 15% for those near the end of their working life), as it is for people in affluent areas to pretend they don’t understand why disability benefits are required, why some people might require financial support to pay rent, etc. It all seems like wilful refusal to understand reality to me, at both ends of the spectrum, because any rational adult should be able to grasp that their own personal experience isn’t necessarily representative of the population as a whole. This is exactly why we have national statistics and economic data collected.

I’m still not sure I understand your point. The main concerns usually raised re. SAHMs are that unless you ensure very watertight and careful financial planning you can be left high and dry financially later in life if your husband does a runner. So of course a large part of such threads providing advice is about finances and how this might impact career, earnings, pensions etc. That doesn’t seem to be a “tangent” but one of the most crucial aspects of the exact topic of the threads in question so such discussions about financial impacts would be highly relevant to such threads. I agree that individual’s personal experiences obviously aren’t statistically valid to extrapolate but people could look up the data of average impacts if they wanted to, whereas if they’ve posted a thread on Mumsnet for advice on this presumably they are actively asking others to share personal experiences of similar situations, not looking for information on statistically likelihood of outcomes?

the average salary of a head-teacher varies from £59 to £144k a year - outside London, £154k London

Knowing that each school has a headteacher, I am not sure why the concept of a £100k salary is so alien to some people.

I just took education as an example, but it doesn't take long to research and see that even outside of London, £100k is not that astonishing.

Sorry but the fact remains that for those of us who don't live in London or one of the really affluent areas of the UK high salaries such as those talked about on MN are niche.

I totally agree @Olderandwiserpossibly
This is a very Londoncentric forum.

Where I live the average annual salary is approximately £36,893 to £39,000. I live nowhere near London. The median is £35,600.

Yes, I know that head teachers, directors of council departments, hospital consultants etc earn 6 figure salaries, but those jobs aren't two a penny round here. We aren't a centre for financial services or other similar types of jobs so this brings the average down.

I can't find figures for the mode salary so average and median will have to do.

Some of the high earners on here won't know people on less than 6 figures because those are the circles they move in. Most of my friends are retired, so I doubt that any of them are on 6 figure pensions, although I know at least one millionnaire.

Lighten up babe…it’s the weekend!

Look, my point was - I said I avoid threads about earnings. You said you don't know why people are surprised that threads about holidays, pensions and extensions are full of high earners. I am saying that there are people mentioning high salaries on lots of threads not about those things. That's all!

And no I don't mean SAHM threads where people are asking for financial advice. I mean the ones where, say, someone is asking how they can get back into work after X years out. It's not that helpful to say "Well I paid through the nose for nursery and got home at 7pm when mine were toddlers, now I earn loads," because it's a bit flipping late for the OP at that point. There was one of these literally last week.

Absolute bollox. The level of stupid on this forum is astounding. Grammar and spelling is irrelevant these days because the internet does it for us. People who earn good money are (mostly) intelligent. Intelligent people do not need to ask internet forums whether its appropriate to be overpaying their mortgages or if having tens of thousands in savings is enough or whether their huge pensions are enough.

I reckon the vast majority of people who start threads in Aibu are bots, average wage, normal people or just thick people thinking they're funny. You can tell from the politics and current affairs threads that the majority of mumsnetters are average or below average intelligence - they may be discussed in depth but not in an intelligent or informed way.

I am saying that there are people mentioning high salaries on lots of threads not about those things.

I see this too, on threads that are nothing to do with salary.

I come from a background where is it considered crass to discuss salary so I admit to finding it distasteful when I see it on here.

Yep. I'd agree with this.

Thank you. It comes up a lot. I almost never see people mentioning a £40k salary unless it's "DH is an arse, he earns £120k and I earn £40k so if we split I'd have to move the kids". For example.

My favourite is when it's just mentioned as "six figures".

2 tall might be helpful for the trousers. We buy PJs from them as they are long enough (we're all tall) and have pockets!!

The median for the entire UK including London is £37,500. It sounds like you live in a very average and normal area with very normal salaries so presumably there are a range of people earning different amounts. Most of them probably don’t disclose their salaries to you and you’d probably have little idea from looking at them or talking to them, either. It’s a well-established fact that at present lifestyle and house size, renter/ owner, disposable income etc is mostly determined by age, not income, due to asset price inflation and far more generous tax, pension and welfare policies for those in the older cohorts of society than exist today. The other thing that has a lot of impact is those who have older relatives who benefitted from this in previous generations passing down wealth. Someone can be what many here consider to be a very high earner and be far, far poorer in assets and disposable income than someone who had a large house deposit given to them at a young age and who earns minimum wage because the largest cost for most people is housing. I also find it odd that people say that nobody in their area earns over £100k. Presumably you have hospitals with consultants working in them? GPs? People who own small businesses and builders, plumbers etc who have built up a small business? Headteachers of secondary schools? Or do you live on a commune and grow your own vegetables?